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A Message from Michele
Active Threads | Active Posts | Unanswered Today | Since Yesterday | This Week
For Newcomers
1 hour ago
Hi Caligirl,

Wondering if part of it is that your focus has been for so long on DBing and now that you can relax on that a bit you are letting yourself feel how ****ed up his behavior has been to you and you are scared of letting him back in and hurting you again? Again I'm a total newbie and not to the point where you are yet but I would imagine that the next steps and going through MC probably will be hard and emotional and it is totally natural that you're maybe a little hesitant and want a lot of proof that he isn't going to do this all over again if you open back up to him. I don't think you should put too much pressure on yourself but it does sound really positive, and at some point you'll have to decide to be vulnerable again with him if you want to build a new R... know we are all here for you! ((hugs))
45 1,073 Read More
For Newcomers
1 hour ago
Hi AS and May,

Thanks for pointing out from another perspective which I have failed to notice. I do note that it is the Manager's fault in this manner and agreed with my wife that it's the manager's fault on missing out on my request, though I chose to take the stand not to pursue further as I thought it's a small matter and just leave and let live. In fact, when the manager came over for the first time, I did tell her that my request is to cancel the order and she's wrong. Just thought that the episode was over but surprised my wife was still holding on to it. Perhaps its like those quarrels we had which after it was over, I thought things were fine but in fact they are not and I never noticed.

This could be like what AS said, built up and accumulated over the years that contributed to the triggering as well. Will look up on the Mr. Nice guy portion and read on it and perhaps the next time, just be more assertive?
35 1,171 Read More
For Newcomers
4 hours ago
Originally Posted by LovingIt


Aside from not being okay with her move back in... what else can I do to dictate the situation. I can go completely dark, or file for D?



Here's my last text exchange with her this weekend...

(Friday)
WW: Are you goin to (place), if so when
WW: I need to stop by and grab something
ME: What time are you thinking?
WW: I don't know
WW: Did you not want me to come by
ME: You can grab stuff
WW: Are you trying to avoid me then?
ME: Didn't think about it either way
WW: Okay
WW: Just wondering if there was a reason you wanted the time
WW: I can give you a heads up beforehand

(Saturday)
WW: Ok probably going to take the bus over soon
ME: okay
WW: Where did you go
ME: (place)
WW: Jealous
WW: Volunteering at (place)

(no response)



No, don't go dark or file D. You're thinking too extreme. Keep up your GAL and self-care, read some past threads and read the advice given. There is a lot of good stuff of these boards. My advice is only to not jump the gun and want to put a band-aid on the problem. Go slow. Like others have said, don't consider anything until the AP is out of the equation etc. I'm simply reiterating to not be a doormat and the perfect plan B. You don't need the dictate anything. Just don't be her puppet. Example what not to do: She calls you run to her. You agree to everything she wants when she wants it.
46 1,088 Read More
For Newcomers
5 hours ago
My WAH used to text me once a week about the lawn. I honestly have no idea why these WASs do what they do sometimes.
85 2,277 Read More
For Newcomers
5 hours ago
Originally Posted by unchien
SteveS,

One way to frame your quest for clarity would be to ask: If you had that clarity, what would you choose to do next? What if she told you "I just don't know, I still need some space"?

What if she wasn't really in it today, but next week she was? Or next month? Or next year?

Maybe she can't provide clarity right now.

Most everyone suggested after awhile that I take action as well. They aren't in your shoes. They don't understand fully what it's like. Ultimately, you are in control of your life, and you get to make the decisions.

If you are firm in your belief that you need clarity, that you are ready to make decisions about your life regardless of what she says, and that you are now operating on your own timeline, then that is one thing. If your need for clarity is actually a desire for some flicker of reassurance, well, I think you know what to do.


Thanks for the input. I think if her answer was that she still needed more time and space, I'd understand and respect that. If the answer was that she's not in this, and she's not willing to work - would I pull the trigger? I don't know.

You're right though - more than anything else, this is about reassurance. Reassurance that I'm not being foolish for still holding on. Reassurance that she's taking this as seriously as I am. Reassurance that she doesn't know, or else we'd be heading down one road or another.

Your point is correct; if it's about reassurance, then it's not about her at all, it's about me. It's about me being a leaf in the wind, getting tossed about by any action (or lack of action) coming from her. And that's a terrible, unsustainable place to be.

But I'm going to be emotionally open about this: I don't feel strong right now. I almost don't even know how to fake it. I love my wife and I want to try again, try anything.

Some of you who made it to the other side of this must have iron for insides because this is just insanely brutal. I don't know how anyone does it.
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For Newcomers
5 hours ago
Originally Posted by MMM12

Yes! I want a tough guy who won't put up with my $#&t, understands my crazy, but also soft and romantic on the inside. Just like in the novels I read. Lol.


Just like on the flip side... I want a hot woman who's athletic, parties, freaky in bed, but also a educated, smart, caring, and good wife / mom...

Let me know when you find your unicorn, and I'll do the same :P

Sorry to hi-jack your thread Curtis!
17 100 Read More
Midlife Crisis
6 hours ago
I take back part of that. I have never explained it as well to D10 as you do in this letter. On the other hand, I am not you. I am the mom she ended up with. I made mistakes and I will never know if I chose rightly each step of the way, but at least I can be sure that she saw me keep choosing to love.
33 631 Read More
Surviving the Big D
6 hours ago
Hello Andrew

Congrats on the new car.

Originally Posted by AndrewP
Win win really. No hangover and smooches.

That sounds like a perfect solution. smile

Your post has a certain spring in its step. An affect from such a fabulous day.

DnJ
61 1,861 Read More
For Newcomers
6 hours ago
Originally Posted by kas99
Just curious have either of you filed?

No we haven't. We are starting discussing details of finances and custody this week.

Originally Posted by rooskers
My D13 said to me point blank "if I had one wish I wouldn't undo what was done because she would have just found another way and another time to leave."

You gave it an amazing effort and in the process became a better you. You never know what the future will hold.

You touched on something that I really didn't understand until recently. My WAW's mindset is *so far* from what I thought was going on. I'm more confused than ever. I'll never understand it. But I will also learn to accept that there wasn't much I could do. I don't think handling limbo any differently would have resulted in a different MR outcome. I am more confused tonight about what's happened than I ever have been. It's hard to give up on those future dreams, and the comfort of that life we had, but now is the time for me to own my life and walk tall. It's scary, but I've been tackling those challenges so far and each little success makes me feel stronger.

The future may hold new relationships. I don't know. I can imagine it's going to be hard for me to dive in again, to trust that I won't bring my old baggage with me, to trust that the other person will be open and honest and communicate when things are not going well. From my current standpoint, relationships look like a burden. I see now how relationships need constant attention and care, and for now I need to put that energy into my relationship with my kids, co-parenting with my W, and my self-improvement. I need some time alone to figure out what I really want moving forward. I spent 15 years with my W, and 5 years with an XGF before that. I haven't been alone for half my life. I'm not used to defining the path of my life.Like anything it probably just will take some time to settle out. Rome wasn't built in a day.
54 886 Read More
Midlife Crisis
6 hours ago
Hello DS

It sounds like you did fine.

Getting through the day and not feeling like a crazy person - is an achievement. Well done!

Keep it up.

DnJ
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For Newcomers
6 hours ago
I didn't speak to exF for most of the weekend. Today he called and wanted me to come spend the day with him. I declined and reminded him of the break-up text and got off the phone. He then sent me some texts still wanting me to spend time with him. My only response was that I do not want to spend the next 10 years of my life getting break-up texts when he is angry.

He called me again this evening and asked if we could talk. I agreed and we met up and talked. He said his feelings were hurt when he wanted to spend time together on Friday, that I wouldn't give him a clear answer about my plans and then I went to hang out with friends.

He essentially did the same thing earlier in the week and I did the same to him out of spite. Probably super immature of me. So we talked more about that. I told him I am not happy with how our R is going. It feels like we are going down a path right back to old R and we were both unhappy in it. He agreed and said he thinks if we were nicer to each other our problems would be solved. I agreed that we need to be nicer and think of more solutions.

He said I need to talk to him when I am upset about things and I told him he is very unapproachable and only gets angry when I bring anything up and I listed examples. He apologized and said he will work on it.

We talked more about what each of us want. I mentioned more QT, random talks in the evening and texts throughout the day would make me happier. He would like more ML and affection and for me to spend less time on my phone. The phone one semi-annoyed me as that's his thing when we go to bed but I didn't say anything.

We had plans originally with the family on Saturday. He went alone and took the kids. He said he spent the day thinking about what he said on Friday and wished I was with them. He said there were several times he thought about how much fun I would be having and how much I would have enjoyed the activity.

This is where I get stuck. We had a great conversation, both agreed to work to make things better The second he gets angry about something we are back to square one. He gets angry and I get super distant. I feel like I just keep rolling on with one foot out the door. I realize I need to put the other foot out the door and then get suckered back in. I feel like I am doing everything wrong. I want this to work but am afraid we just aren't compatible. I am all over the place.
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For Newcomers
7 hours ago
kas is D17 still in school? Sometimes the school has counselors she could see.

Has S19 thought about his own future? Maybe he could apply to a college and start to focus on his life to get his mind off of WAH.

I believe when these things happen to older children, they almost have to apply the principles of DB themselves. Both of them need to GAL immediately and start to work on themselves. It is how we survive the abandonment and destruction of the marriage and I think it is how older children can survive the annihilation of the family.

I hope that you can get the financial support you will need kas. Nothing worse than going through the emotional horror of all of this and then having to worry how you will meet all your financial obligations.
52 535 Read More
Midlife Crisis
8 hours ago
Another week has passed. My cat is on the mend, and I am finally too. So, time to check in and catch up on my friends here, and mull over my sitch, where I am, and where Iím going.

Originally Posted by Yail
I too have W on my mind a lot these days. I'm trying to accept that and let her image take up some room in my mind, because I think it must be part of my healing/letting go process. No more pushing it out and pretending it doesn't exist. What do you do? I know you still have contact sometimes, so I'm curious how you approach it when H creeps into your mind.


H has not dominated my thoughts this week. Interesting how it ebbs and flows, becomes all consuming, then fleeting. Iím really not sure how to answer this question, but I do give it up to prayer a lot. It also helps to be proactive in moving the D process along, and clearing out some of Hís stuff. But ultimately, I just let time and getting on with life dull the thoughts. Like you, Yail, I am learning not to fight it. Itís helping.

Originally Posted by Gerda
have gotten the feeling from your posts of late that you are determined to fix your broken heart your way, by divorcing and having a clean break.


I do not think a D will fix my broken heart. My heart is already healing. The D is a clear statement to my H that I will not tolerate such disrespect, and the result of his decision to share his life with someone else is to give up his life with me. In no way do I see D as a clean break. The process is slow, and started way before H even moved out.

Originally Posted by Gerda
And if God has a plan to restore your marriage, the divorce may be part of that plan, it may be a step on that road.


THIS really spoke to me. I do in fact believe my journey with H is not over after D. I feel God is prompting me not to give up on H because HE hasnít. Whether God will ever bring us back together as partners is unknown. It doesnít matter to me right now. But I do believe D is the right choice, and I will just live my life and hopefully be able to hear Godís instructions and be able to obey his promptings, no matter where it leads me.






Originally Posted by Gerda
We can live with joy and GAL and friends and family but it's okay to have a corner of the heart that will mourn at times. Only the MLCer can pretend otherwise, and look at the fallout of that ability!
I think you do yourself a disservice wondering why you feel conflicted or thinking it's weak to want your H with you for the rest of your life's journey. That's what you signed up for. (And how do you know it's not the promptings of the Holy Spirit?) Just because H tried to sign off on what you both signed up for, that doesn't mean you can just get rid of the feeling. That's what MLC did for him; do you really want that? The pain of letting yourself feel it is the the worst, but that's the cross! Don't try to leave the cross on the side of the road with your determination to divorce! Pick up the pain and pick up the divorce, they ARE the cross !


I donít think I recognized the part of my heart still with H as o.k., normal, and even a healthy part of my journey. I fight it, telling myself there must be something wrong with me to have a part of me still want to be with this man. I am at a Christian womanís retreat now, and whether some of what Iím thinking and feeling is in part the promptings of the holy spirit has come up a few times. I do believe God is holding my hand and guiding me even with the choice to proceed with D. I have decided to pick up the pain and D cross again, because the burden is now light since I have help carrying it.

Originally Posted by DnJ
Marriage could end from a death. Grace would still have to go on. The reason for the ending is not all encompassing and important - what one does after - that is one of the big rocks to place. Once those big rocks, those values, are in place, let the small pebbles of life fill in the voids around them. If one does it the other way around all one has is pebbles and no important stuff - like our MLCer spouses have done to their lives.


How right you are DnJ, Grace still has to go on no matter the reason. I often think of my journey into my new future as something wonderful, joyful, and satisfying, but then I remember the D, and it brings me down a bit. But it doesnít need to. That promise of something wonderful in store for me in the near and far future is still there. That should be is my focus.


Originally Posted by DnJ
From the other side of this divorce business Iíll pass some of my perspective. Divorce is what I just said - business. Treat it like that. Keep feelings out of it. The hard truth of the matter:

The marriage is dead, the spouse wants out, divorce or not makes no difference, proceed if needed, itís just a business deal.


I am not convinced H really wants a D. I just donít think he know how to find his way back. BUT, I am focused on the business deal, and I donít think H likes it. He seems to want to draw out my compassionate side. He just wants his strokes he so desperately seems to need. He can get them from his girlfriend. I think I surprised him a bit by my negotiation skills, and keeping it business and not tolerating his jabs. I donít think he knows what to do wit the new me. I donít care.

Originally Posted by DnJ
Of course you want him to come along for the ride, even after all he has done.
Why?
Because you love him. Maybe even unconditionally.
Embrace that - itís ok. .


I still struggle with why I love such a man. Untrustworthy, selfish, damaged, depressed, and unfaithful. That doesnít sound like someone I should care about when I put it out there like that. But, itís there anyway. I just wonít fight it anymore. It doesnít change my course. Thanks for the validation, DnJ.


Originally Posted by DnJ
Quit trying to let go that one or few strings still attached to H. I believe we are meant to have a couple remain tied to our spouse. Unconditional love and forgiveness needs something to grow upon.

Change how you see this string. Make a choice. Change your paradigm.

Stop trying to cut the string. It is actually an unbreakable one.

The string is completely stretchable and transcends space and time.Therefore it cannot hold you back.

This forgiveness, this unconditional love, this string, is so very sweet and free of pain.

The string cannot drag H along. However, it could be a guide for H if he ever chooses to follow it.

Be the lighthouse.

Thank you for this. I think I was struggling with seeing D as the end, even though I have told many people recently that I donít see D as an end of H and I. I donít know why, or what that means. And I donít think it will hold me back in the past any longer. Itís just there. And I believe God is prompting me to be the lighthouse. Not specifically for H, but for other people in need. Iím not sure exactly what this means yet, but I know someday it will become clear.
30 1,180 Read More
For Newcomers
Yesterday at 10:24 PM
Link


Originally Posted by Ginger1
I like a guy to say he just wants to be with me. Spend time with me, cuddle with me, whatever. Itís nice to know you are wanted.

What isnít good is being jealous, or nasty and cranky when you are turned down for those things and you donít get your way.

However, this usually works much better when you are in a good place. She will be receptive to it if she is comfortable with you and wanting to spend time with you. If she isn't feeling you, she wonít be receptive.
79 3,655 Read More
For Newcomers
Yesterday at 10:05 PM
Hi Caligirl! Thanks for checking in. I'm doing okay-- we went out last night and had a good time, he leaves tonight for his trip. For whatever reason I'm doing better with all of this-- less anxious, it doesn't really bother me too much if I wonder if he's going to see her or not-- like whatever, he'll do what he wants to do, worrying about it isn't going to help anything and just makes me stressed out. Just trying to focus on the positive (he brought up the idea of the four of us traveling together for Christmas break for the first time, I acted interested but didn't jump at it too fast). I will also say that working out and being physically fit has had incredibly positive impact on my mindset-- can't recommend it highly enough!

Hope you're hanging in there too CG!
51 1,050 Read More
For Newcomers
Yesterday at 09:56 PM
It does matter how you define clingy and needy.

I like a guy to say he just wants to be with me. Spend time with me, cuddle with me, whatever. Itís nice to know you are wanted.

What isnít good is being jealous, or nasty and cranky when you are turned down for those things and you donít get your way.

However, this usually works much better when you are in a good place. She will be receptive to it if she is comfortable with you and wanting to spend time with you. If she is t feeling you, she wonít be receptive.

In my last relationship I felt like I always had to play the distance card to get him to come closer. It was like the only way it worked. It shouldnít be that way though. You should be comfortable with your partner in being able to say ď I mjust want to spend time with you and connectĒ rather than have to play the distance pursuit game all the time. It gets really old for me.

I know R2change gives lots of advice on attracting women and keeping their attraction. Some i feel is accurate, we donlike to be made to feel sexy and wanted some times. Other times, I just love to know the guy Iím with wants to be with me and connect with me on a different level. More emotionally, rather than physically ( and I am high drive) I love when the guy I love just wants to spend time with me and excited about it ( my LL is quality tome)
53 1,715 Read More
For Newcomers
Yesterday at 09:31 PM
if I could go back and knock some sense into myself I would. My H would text after he moved out but it was about money, kids, not much but more than it needed to be. A handful of texts but mostly it felt like he was getting the best of both worlds, the freedom of single life and me as plan B. As long as I packed his stuff, played nice, I donít know it gave a false hope that maybe heíd change his mind. He didnít but I hung on every word, every text. As the business end of our relationship ended so did the texts. Days, weeks, nothing but as soon as I started feeling better heíd send some lame text, lame to me anyway. This went on for 4.5 months before Iíd had enough. For my own sanity it had to stop.

Iíve gone dark. 2.5 months now. Iíve sent 2 separate one line questions via email (I no longer text) that I needed answers to but thatís it. He answered and I didnít reply. We have kids but they are teenagers so we parallel parent. No contact.

This is bothering my H (slightly) but itís helping me a lot. Take your power back. Find your dignity and self respect. Show him with your actions that you can and will be okay without him. The sooner you can master this the sooner you will feel better. It will be the hardest thing youíve ever done but no do not contact him and if he contacts you wait a day (or at least 30 minutes) then answer. All business.
22 339 Read More
Midlife Crisis
Yesterday at 06:09 PM
Hi own, Andrew and brtrfly,
Thanks for the comments and sentiments. Own- I do like the term 3rd party medical expenses. You are right, itís not that much money. Also, I forgot to mention that he was also giving her petty cash out of his business account.

This is going to sound terrible but for a second, I thought-ok this is it... after so many years of his bullying, this is my chance to reciprocate. Iíve been solid this whole time, been completely drug through the mud, and now hereís the time where (hopefully) justice will be served. No, it 10000% is not in my nature to ďblastĒ anyone.... I just thought, here we are 4+ years out and now he has to face the music and face what heís done.

And when I say that, please understand that thereís no vindictiveness in there. It sounds like there is, but thereís isnít. Itís more like- Iím not covering for him anymore and sacrificing myself as a result.

At the end of the day, Iím not going to put the abortion in there. Iím ready to move on and get this over with. Itís been so crazy to try and recover everything that heís taken from me. Like when he wrote checks in my name to my sister in law totalling over 30k and how he withdrew over 100k from our account just a few days before we separated. Iím reliving all of this again and again. And Iím pissed. Iím leaving a couple things on the table, but I just canít fight it all.

Ughhh. I hope karma is kind to him.

Just a few more months and I will be free of him! I canít wait. Can. Not. Wait.

In other news, Iím very ready to move. I wish my lease was up now. Even though I would prefer to buy something, i would be ok with breaking my lease and finding somewhere else to live.
This place served me very well during my separation and I have no complaints at all except for the fact that itís not home. It was my temporary landing place and now Iím ready to move on. This girl is ready to soar! No more holding me back.
51 2,281 Read More
Midlife Crisis
Yesterday at 05:44 PM
Bttrfly, I TOTALLY understand how you feel. I feel that way too and I am even getting a lot of compliments lately, but never believe them.

Lemme tell you something that works for me sometimes -- listen to the song, "Hard to Love" by Calvin Harris and Jessie Reyes. At the end, she says, "I like being ugly, that way if they love me, I know that they love me for real."

We all here know that you are not ugly and we all here know that your beautiful soul will make you even prettier. We all know that if you date a guy now, he ain't gonna be Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise (or even Brad Pitt now). He's going to be a regular guy with a great heart. We all know that we aren't quite as firm as we used to be -- but our hearts and minds are firmer than ever!

BUT you may not be able to believe any of that because you have been whacked over the pretty bone by an MLC sledgehammer. So don't try to believe it. Just go with that song -- say, "Heck yeah, I am ugly! My boobs are shaped like an empty pillowcase!" And then get out there with confidence and have fun!

The woman writing to you right now, btw, has one boob. (And the other one is the aforementioned empty pillowcase.) I used to be known for my boobs. They were a big draw in college and I had a nickname that had Torpedo in it. Now there is a scar like a slash there. I willing gave that boob to God, I remember feeling his presence and a white light as I went under (for the surgery) and told God, I give you that too! I totally surrendered that part of my identity. And you know what happened? Now I think it's kind of cool, like a sexy scar. I like the reminder of what I gave up in order to live. I mean "in order to live" both physically and emotionally/spiritually. Give up your longing to be 21 and the hottest thing on the block. Just be you and fly through the flowers, Beautiful Beautiful Butterfly!
7 197 Read More
Surviving the Big D
Yesterday at 01:02 PM
Ginger,

Please start a new thread and link the two together.
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For Newcomers
Yesterday at 01:00 PM
103 2,327 Read More
Surviving the Big D
10/19/19 11:40 PM
True for top tier acts, but thereís so much good music being played out there at venues that range from $10 -$40. Go hear some new music!
8 237 Read More
For Newcomers
10/19/19 10:06 PM
Journal
Had a nice day. Gig was good. My friend was playing so was nice to catch up. He knows W quite well. He is sad but again commented that I looked well considering waht was happening. He congratulated me on working through therapy and sorting out my problems, and said we should meet up in London soon. He also agrees that whilst what I did was wrong, it is not worth D and he thinks W has chucked something away more valuable than she thinks.

Weirdly we realised one of the trumpet players also used to play in our youth orchestra when we were younger, so we all had a good chat in the break and went to the pub together for dinner before the gig.

Extra weird thing. My ex-girlfriend was playing in the orchestra, AND her mum too! What are the chances!?!
I haven't seen her for over 10 years. She still looks pretty - she's 33 now, married with 2 kids, lives in London. Old me would have timidly said hi in passing, and that's it. Instead, I just walked up to her, said a big hello and gave her a hug. I was confident, bright and breezy, made a few jokes, asked about how she was doing etc., and I didn't feel nervous. I just talked, and at the end when everyone was packing up and leaving, we had a another brief chat with her mum about how well the concert went. We both said it was lovely to see each other and that was that.

Do I miss W? Yes - we would have done this gig together. I imagined her chipping in the conversation with my old buddies here and there and everyone getting along. Sad she wasn't there - we used to do lots of concerts together. But then I turned my attention to the fact that I should be GALing, and promptly got back on that horse.

So a good day overall - got to speak to people I hadn't seen for literally a decade, was confident throughout, played well, had a nice time, and got home before 10pm.
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For Newcomers
10/19/19 08:56 PM
I sent her a text:

"Thanks for the invite but I'm going to pass on going to the aquarium. You should have a nice day with son."

I just don't feel right going at this point. I'm either not detached enough or I just don't want to do family things in the future if we aren't a family. I'm honestly not sure but it's probably a bit of both reasons.
51 1,165 Read More
For Newcomers
10/19/19 07:06 PM
hey i know this thread is like 7 years old, but i thought i should reply because i to went through this with my now ex girlfriend of 8 years, my ex for the longest time had extreme symptoms of bipolar disorder, where she would be happy one minute or extremely angry and frustrated the next. i tried talking to her about this and why she was like this, she would just get angry and it would turn into arguments. so one day she finally told me that she thinks its her anxiety and that she gets bad anxiety. this is about a year after our baby was born.

so she went on these antidepressants . im not sure what they are called , but when you start taking them the first week you do 1 a day , then second week you do 2 a day, then third three a day and forth 4 a day and then continue at 4 a day.

my ex started becoming drousy at night when she started taking them. i noticed her majorly disconnecting from our relationship, and pretty much everything. she started taking off going out drinking and partying almost daily. wouldnt come home till late at night or the next day, and when i approached her on this i was met with annoyance, anger and frustration.

then she broke up with me about 3 weeks after going on these pills, i found out there was another guy that she just met about 2 weeks earlier . i found out from her call logs. but she just got angry and told me its non of my business.

she then continued to tell me that she hasnt loved me for 2 years and that she didnt think she ever loved me during our whole relationship. i tried to convince her it was the medication but she denied and denied everything, i showed her our thousands of family photos that we had taken, she said that they were all fake and she never was happy, and that photos dont mean anything, at this point she was so addicted to instagram that she was on there from sun up to sun down. i even remember her after she broke up with me telling me that she wants what they instagramers want, they all have picture perfect familes and photos and all there men bought the women houses and it was just a bunch of crap.

i think the antidepressants disabled part of her brain that deciphers fantasy from reality, but honestly, its like she went from a loving caring gf, who had some issues , but nothing to end a relationship over, to like this enemy who wont put down there guard and is rude and verbally abusive and just hateful.

these drugs seem so dangorus. i just dont know , it doesnt seem like theres nothing i can do to save her either but let her go and hopefully one day she at least gives me an appology
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