sometimes Mach that heavy sigh is because I can't reach through the phone with my magic wand, wave it over you and make it all better.
other times the heavy sigh is because I can feel how much it hurts, and I hate that the only way for you to heal is to literally walk through the valley of the shadow of death, and all I can do is just sit on the other end of the line and hold space for you and frankly - some days that doesn't seem like nearly enough.
never is the sigh because i'm sick of being there for my friend.
W and I both worked from home today. Son had 1/2 day of school. He just went to the neighbors. W told me she told him when he gets back, if we want, we can go out to dinner. Or if we don't, she can go pick something up. I just said 'ok'.
I think at best you’re plan B as she searches for OM2. I know it sounds harsh but that’s the reality of it. What’s the plan moving forward as far as IC/MC is concerned? The affair can not be swept under the rug. For you to have a successful relationship you have to see each other as people of value. Not a consolation prize until your son is of age.
Keep GAL like a mad man and really start to think if this is what you want moving forward.
I don't think she is looking for an OM2 right now. She will probably continue with me until she has found enough excuses to defect once again. And at that point, she might look for an OM2. I am planning to bring up IC/MC issue next week.
I am GAL'ing to my satisfaction. But I have not started thinking about what I should be doing about the MR in the future. Been putting it off because it is a tough subject.
We've seen this reluctancy in truly recommitting back to the marriage after an affair before from WASs. Almost always they are biding their time until the OP has a change of heart, or OM2 comes along. WW in particular have a way of attracting no end of losers. It's a sad reality whether she's actively on the prowl or not.
The good news is that none of it matters. You just keep DBing. Focus completely off of her. Look up "self differentiation in marriage". That's your new normal.
Hey BeingMe, I just thought I would check in and see how things are going. I know it's been quite awhile since I've been on here. I have a friend that is going to need this forum, so I thought I better check in and make sure things are still up and running.
Of course, affairs really cloud and confuse the situation. There is no martial problem that is going to become better by adding another person. OP1, OP2,… are all symptoms. Band-aids. A desperate attempt at feeling better. Such an illicit relationship is built upon lies and deceit. It’s like building on sand, it requires tremendous effort to keep things held together and stable. (By the way, I do realize your situation currently has no confirmed or suspected affair. Just sharing a bit of information. And for those reading your story too.)
