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A Message from Michele
Active Threads | Active Posts | Unanswered Today | Since Yesterday | This Week
Surviving the Big D
6 minutes ago
Dawn, I'm glad the end of your day was so much better than the rest. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend, and that you weren't able to find out about it at home, so you had more privacy to grieve. so hard for me to do that at work.

I'm just amazed that there is a guy who is unpacking side by side along with you. To me, that makes Sparky a keeper every bit as much as the other things you noted. I'm always amazed at the guys here and the guys in real life that I meet who are helping and not giving orders (work faster, your rate of speed is an issue, do more, there aren't enough empty boxes), but that's conditioning from my exh, which is happily slowly fading from my psyche.

Honey I hope the rest of your week calms down. xoxoxo {{{{{{{Dawn}}}}}}}
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Surviving the Big D
20 minutes ago
yes to Job's observation.
I'm going to keep a log of all the instructions my boss belts out all day long. you know the ones that mean I have to drop what I'm doing and do something else. After a week or two or a month I'm going to spring that the next time I'm accused of not doing anything. you may want to do something similar.

congratulations on your hospice job. nice to look forward to going to work!

xoxoxo
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For Newcomers
47 minutes ago
Hi DS

Yes I absolutely know I cannot tell W anything like that. I know that means I'm not detached yet. Work in progress!

The gym I go to runs a 6-week 'review' for users. I'm now at 11.8% body fat, my water content is 60% (very high, which is good), BMI is currently 21, bone density is 3 which is good apparently, and finally visceral fat - i.e. excess fat round organs etc. - is 4, on a sliding scale where anything from 1-12 is considered 'healthy' or 'no problem'. Essentially the gym person said to me, "you're doing fine, just keep going and gradually up the weights."
Have upped the weights slowly - 25 to 30kg, 35 to 40kg etc. Don't want to injure myself unnecessarily!

I can't seem to find a date for the NGS meet up that coincides with my schedule - I'm obviously GALing too much lol!
I would like to go as one of the NGS remedies is to 'hang out' with other men, so I know it will be useful. Perhaps another time, but it's certainly on my list.

I know she doesn't care right now - well at least she is projecting that. No idea what is going on in her head though, which she may not be revealing to anyone else.

Just waiting for a response from L regarding a few queries I have about the finance court order at present. W hasn't chased me for this since last week so I guess it's not an issue. I'm not pushing the L for an answer.
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For Newcomers
1 hour ago
Originally Posted by bballer1
I She is so arrogant and selfish. She has no remorse for what she has done. Continues to blame me and OMís wife for her problems. The worse was last night when I mentioned he should be fired because he was her boss. She claimed it was so barbaric for people to lose their jobs because of that. She claimed she could understand if it was a teacher messing with a student. She has no real shame.


First of all, WTF are you talking about him for?!? You are giving him power over you and you are baiting her. Stop doing that. You have to realize he is not the culprit, your W is. She could have just said no to his advances and move on. The problem is she said yes and acted on it. You have to realize if it was not him, it would have been some other dude. Would it hurt you any less if she cheated on you with the plumber? Or the cable guy? I'd say no.

Originally Posted by bballer1

This was all due to her accusing me of bugging her electronics. I sent an emoji that she claims he sent her. She got pissed so that tells me it must have been recent. Pure coincidence that I sent it and she accused me. Just goes to show you canít ever hide doing wrong. It comes out one way or another.


No need to go to any lengths defending yourself. I'd just give her the REALLY WIFE?!? staredown. The WAWs get some sort of sick and perverted pleasure knowing that they are an object of desire of other men. You cannot do anything about it. Let it go. Perhaps you are thinking that if you do not fight for her, she might think you do not care. You have to realize that you are not in her plans. She divorced you at the time of her betrayal and your marriage ended at BD. IF you think that getting a divorce will make any sort of positive impact, you are sadly mistaken. I tried telling you that telling OM's wife was a mistake, but you chose to do it anyway. I understand you. Did it do any good? Nope.

Originally Posted by bballer1

I asked her 3 questions last night and she answered yes to all but the last question. 1st question was, Are you going to take another job out of county? YES, Do you think you will need to move out of the county? YES Do you want us to move out of the county together? MAYBE.


Stop with the questions. It is utterly futile questioning her on anything. By the way, you are reading that last answer wrong. She said: "HELL NO!" You have to learn to read WAW language, but I think you are starting to catch on.

You are doing well, but thing will get harder soon.

Oh yeah, and stop sending her fcukin emoticons. Would you send that emoticon to your business partner? No? So stop sending your W emoticons. Treat your relationship with your estranged spouse like a business relationship, so cordial, but no fcukin emoticons.

And disregards any and all "signs" and gestures from your W, she is confused as hell and you are probably prone to reading all sort of things into your W's actions.
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For Newcomers
4 hours ago
H expressed tonight that he is wavering quite a bit. He said thereís a part of him that wants to say yes and come back, but he is very scared of the past repeating, scared of coming back for the wrong reasons and scared in general. He said he has a lot of healing to do about a lot things, and he repeated a few times that he feels like he needs to ďkeep moving forward with thisĒ but then talking about his other feelings around it.

He still feels we need to keep moving forward with this process. And he is having doubts. After court today I had expressed to him my feelings about him and about my desire to reconcile. I followed it up by telling him that I have no desire to push him or talk him into anything, and that I respect his ability to make his own decisions. And I meant it. I only want him to come back if he actually wants to. I think that allowed him to admit to himself that he is wavering, and to admit that to me.
BUT he is still on the divorce path. He said he is starting IC soon. Iíve always wanted that for him, and I have to hope that will help him get his mind straight around all of this. This feels like a MAJOR tipping point and I would appreciate all the help I can get in handling this well (vets, im looking at you).

I validated up a storm. I know that I need to continue to do that, and not apply any pressure at all. I need to step back and let him lead. And, devastatingly, I will need to continue to participate in the divorce process. What else???
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For Newcomers
4 hours ago



Quote
If she wants to sign another lease with me. I will demand work on the M and mc. Or I will not do it
Why do you think demanding things is the best way to behave? That is not leading, that is controlling behavior. Do you think she will find that attractive?
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For Newcomers
4 hours ago
I appreciate everyone's help here! Thank you so much
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For Newcomers
5 hours ago
Wow Steve. You have given me a lot to think about. Your post provides so much perspective. It feels like there is a lot to unpack there. Iím going to want to revisit this again I think. I think I see where I have been looking at this incorrectly. I was so blinded by the pain in the beginning.

Itís very hard to put how I feel into written form. I hope you understand what I mean when I say ďI want it to work out but Iím ok if it doesnítĒ. Im completely detached. But I still love her. Itís a very strange feeling.

So we are going to be living together for the next 4ish months because we are in this lease together. If she wants to sign another lease with me. I will demand work on the M and mc. Or I will not do it

I really donít know what actions to take between now and then. Things have definitely improved since our talk. But basically she is just in a better mood around me. She is so miserable all the time she doesnít know that it probably wonít get any better once she is on her own. Not until she finds a guy that makes her endorphins go wild and after that wears off she will be miserable again. Unless she can work on herself and find that happiness within her, Iím afraid she is doomed to repeat this cycle again and again, and that makes my heart break for her. Because I want her to be happy.

I hate to say this. But I feel like my M is such a small part of my life right now. I look forward to going to work in the morning. I worry about my son. I try (sometimes unsuccessfully) to not worry about my cancer.

What action should I be taking right now?
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For Newcomers
5 hours ago
Well, I got her to have a phone conversation tonight. I get the feeling that she's had it. She continues to have this conception of me as completely against her, only sees the negative, so she sees me as trying to drag this out indefinitely. Never mind that I have no reason for doing so, that the mediator's schedule drove most of the delays, that she chose the mediator, that her lawyer takes a week to do what mine can do in two days, and so on - because I questioned some language, requiring another visit to the mediator, I'm the bad guy. Same stuff, different day.

Here's the improvement - knowing that she's not able to be objective helped me to stay the course. I won't say that I followed the principles perfectly. The non-stop validation makes her mad - she wants a response, she wants my view, and she wants me to agree with her. But there were no raised voices, no anger, no name-calling. Did we make progress? I don't know. She did say that she has an appointment on Monday to begin litigation and confirmed that the door to the mediation agreement would be closed at that point. She said that she's done negotiating (she even used the term "boundary" - I think that her lovely IC is continuing to coach her). I said that going that path will cost us more and take longer. That's when she said that she thought that I would never sign, etc.

She seems to genuinely believe that she gave in on too much with the mediation agreement in the interests of getting it done quickly (which it wasn't). I get it. She also mentioned that some items she didn't even bring up (i.e. she gave in without letting me know that she was giving in). I told her that I understood perfectly because I had similar examples. So, I get where she is coming from even though I don't really agree. She knows everything she gave up but can't imagine what I gave up. She also started this process from the perspective that everything she wanted she deserved, so the reality of the middle ground being the starting point was a shock.

So, where did we land? Both are "thinking about it". She's leaving the papers she signed and notarized on my desk tomorrow. I'll probably sign and hold onto them. I don't see a scenario where holding the line gets me/D4 ahead.

Oh, one other thing - she has owed me money (no dispute about that) for a month and I asked her to give me a check tomorrow. No reason not to, there's no debate about it. She said that she'd think about it. It's amazing how her brain can manage this - I'm the mean unfair one who is extorting her but she holds onto this for weeks.

Strange thing, we stopped talking about the divorce stuff and went to talking about D4's clothes, some other expenses, couple of work things. Everything fine. In 35 minutes discussed litigation, how actions amounted to "slaps in the face", and then switched to easy conversation (though focused on D4, wasn't small talk).

All in all I want to be done.
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For Newcomers
5 hours ago
I sent her out the MB tonight. Hopefully I can break this cycle. I told her she didnít have to text me during the day either. Time to be strong and hopefully I can learn to show tough love from now on.

It was a big mistake allowing her back in the MB. She is so arrogant and selfish. She has no remorse for what she has done. Continues to blame me and OMís wife for her problems. The worse was last night when I mentioned he should be fired because he was her boss. She claimed it was so barbaric for people to lose their jobs because of that. She claimed she could understand if it was a teacher messing with a student. She has no real shame.

This was all due to her accusing me of bugging her electronics. I sent an emoji that she claims he sent her. She got pissed so that tells me it must have been recent. Pure coincidence that I sent it and she accused me. Just goes to show you canít ever hide doing wrong. It comes out one way or another.
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For Newcomers
5 hours ago
WAH didn't hear S19 come in so he doesn't know we know. The OW was over there again today. WAH must have taken a couple of days off. WAH sent over the firewood.

I figure he's being nice because he's about to file or its just guilt.

This day was awful and I have got to get a grip.
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Surviving the Big D
6 hours ago
Hi Gwen. I read up on your thread today. Thanks for coming back and letting us know how you are doing. Gives newcomers some hope when people return to let them know there is life after BD and divorce.

With the exception of your XHís treatment of your kids, my sitch is similar. In my case, my XH basically ignored our kids for a few years while he was leading his double life and since moving in with OW #? (he still wonít admit there has been more than one but when it quacks like a duck....), he has been a pretty good dad and reasonable in his interactions with me. But... my BD was in mid-September last year (he was outed by my family) and after two weeks of indecision, he fully moved out and presented me with a separation agreement in December (still denying OW), was engaged by March (still not admitting to OW...I found out after the fact), purchased a home with her in April and we signed divorce papers in May. Less than a year...14 years gone...as if it meant nothing. Is it MLC? Possibly. Like you, I often wonder if the person I married ever even really existed. I like to think that he did but I donít know. If not, it may just be a significant character flaw. Regardless the reason, he is gone and although I may never fully understand it, I have accepted it. As Iím sure you know, there is significant relief when you get to that place. smile

Anyway... your posts really resonated with me. I remember really struggling with many of the same feelings and truth be told, still do from time to time. But...I have moved forward and taken the high road for the sake of my kids. Like your Maya Angelou quote said... I will not let this define me. (((HUGS)))
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Midlife Crisis
6 hours ago
Hello Friends

Had a very good weekend.

Went to a town a couple hours away to visit relative (we all call her Grandma) at her assisted living complex. She is 96 years old.

All my kids and the two GFs came along. This was number two piano concert for us. This time around the kids were even more excited, practiced, and prepared.

So seven of us descended upon my uncle and his Mom, and about 30 more residents / friends of herís. We played music for two hours. S21ís GF has a music degree from University and can she ever sing. S21 accompanied her for three songs which were amazing.

My kids and I belted out a variety of songs, to much enjoyment. The ladies had prepared a bunch of snacks and treats, which everyone enjoyed.

It was such a good time. I made arrangements for a Christmas concert to held there in about a month. Also a concert at Dadís care home, and my house. The kids are all eager for that; itís been a while since we had our house full of guests and music. Iíve had people asking if we are putting on a concert this year; seems our little recitals are garnering much attention.

The DnJ Christmas concerts are a lot of fun. Hours of music and singing, snacks and friendship. Previous years have had around 40 guests, and this year looks to be the same number.

After the concert for Uncle and ďGrandmaĒ, S22 and GF went to her parents, and the other kids came home. Monday we all went to Remembrance Day services, also picked up Grandma, where D17ís school choir was singing. After D17 and GF talked about graduation dresses, Christmas gift, etc... while S21 and I put the snow blower on to the tractor. Man oh man, it was cold outside.

Friday night, the start of my weekend, D17 and I went to the local hockey game. A 12 year old daughter from a gal from work was playing in my town. We watched her game and the family came back for a visit. The gal is my clerk, and her husband and three kids (D16,D12, S6) came over.

They loved the house and the kids had a blast on the zip line. Was quite the talk today around the coffee table. She and her family are invited for Christmas concert.

Tomorrow is D17ís parent graduation meeting. It will be interesting to see what XW does. I am figuring she will attend. She was a real busybody with OMís Sonís grad last year, and was barely involved in sonís the year before, weíll see what she is like this year.

Over the weekend I found out that the boys havenít heard from Mom for quite some time; no contact for over a month. S18ís birthday is in two weeks, and no word from Mom. My birthday is this Sunday, one week before S18. Grandma is having a super and a party, and all the kids and GFs are attending - thatís quite something with all the busy schedules.

Well thatís about all thatís going on here.

Hope you all are having a great day.

DnJ
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For Newcomers
6 hours ago
Thanks for replying unchien, I appreciate the feedback!

I believe the statement I made about my H. I believe that I did things that made him feel unloved, and I believe that it is a part of the reason he left.

You are absolutely right that I am struggling with detachment in general, and even more so as it is in conflict with something I feel H wants from me. I also had all of the same reactions to my text exchange with him that you did. He was being distant/cautious and holding back, and also pushing for more of the convo and fishing for me to say more. He is definitely an emotional mess right now (he said so himself today) and I am definitely entangled. As I said, I admit Iím a bit lost right now. That is mainly because Iím so attached to H and enmeshed in his emotional roller coaster.

The roller coaster continued and ramped up today at our court date. I am exhausted and will post about that another time. I am beyond confused, more so then ever, and would definitely like some feedback.
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For Newcomers
7 hours ago
Definitely try to go NC .

Sheís confused . All over the place emotionally and in her head. She has to go through that part alone .Keep yourself separate from the confusion . It is very hard to not talk or text someone you have been with for years . She has to feel you not being there .



Many hugs !!!
17 403 Read More
For Newcomers
7 hours ago
Oz, I think the problem isn't that you've done what people have said, or that you're being told you're doing it wrong. I think the problem is you're looking at DBing like a checklist. Like you do A, B, and C and you've arrived. As if DBing is a path you follow on the way to a destination. And you feel like you've traveled the path to a tee ... And that you should be arriving at the destination any moment.

This stuff isn't like that. What you've done, what you're doing, it isn't wrong. At all. But your expectations with it are. You're standing on top of the mountain thumping your chest in victory. Yet nothing has changed. You're still in limbo. Your fate as a couple is still in her hands. You're saying you don't care if she stays or goes but after the discussion you admit to being sad. Talk doesn't change anything. So what are you DOING that's different?

That's what my suggestion was about. You called a "script". Nope. A script is spoken, what I suggested was action. The script was you telling her about your action. The action was already taken!

Telling someone they are free to go isn't telling them anything. We are all free to go. I could stand up from my seat right this minute, look at my wife, and say. "Goodbye. I'm leaving and never coming back." Then I could walk out the door never to return. I'm free to do that whether she says I am or not.

Imagine if after she says those awful things, instead of plotting to have a discussion you went to a lawyer, drew up D papers and filed. (I can't remember if she already has, but if so then you could change this to going to a lawyer and having a separation agreement drawn up...etc) Notice...action.

Do I believe you've detached? Absolutely, I think you've made great strides on it. But I think you've missed a huge point that talk is not DBing. Action is. Look at the advice we give: GAL..180s. Detach. Action.

So now that you've had the discussion, be what are you going to do? Or is it all up to her, just like before?
30 463 Read More
Midlife Crisis
7 hours ago
Grace, do you think that on the 26th we could actually meet up? I might be traveling on the 26th or the 27th but if I could see you on the 26th I would plan around it!
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For Newcomers
8 hours ago
I knew she didnít mean what she said about wishing she never met me or had our S

I also did I didnít matter what I did she could not see I had dropped the rope. Which according to you guys is very important. So I did what I did. And I donít regret it

H I have a question
W what
H are you still miserable
W yes
H Do you want to work on it
W I donít think so
H ok letís go drop S of at your sisters go out to eat and figure out where we go from here


Steveís recommended script would not have worked. It would have caused a volcanic eruption of an argument. I would have lost any ground gained.

The conversation did not go like I thought it would. It went better in some ways. Worse in others. There is no clear defined plan. She is deciding to look for another job. I just started on my new job 2 days ago. We donít know what work schedules will look like.

The convo went on for 5 hours. And 80 percent of it was emotional topics about the past. I donít even remember it all and Iím too tired to try. Everyone around us thinks there is a fair shot at recon after depression. But we still have 4.5 months of living together where she is gonna see me in a new light (knowing that I let her go)

I just want her to find whatever it is she thinks is better out there. Iím not trying to punish her or hurt her in any way. If she goes out and sleeps with 50 men thatís fine. I wonít want her back. I donít have a plan. Iím going to take it day by day. And I know Iím gonna be alright.

It does however fell like you guys hounded hounded ďdetach, detach!!Ē And then when I do and I feel like she could stay or go it makes no difference. You guys make me feel like Iíve done something wrong.

Donít get me wrong. I love you guys. You have been a beacon through a long dark night. But sometimes I feel like I canít win for loosin.

Iím happy where Iím at. I love my new job. Iím ok with being single, although I would prefer to recon with my wife.
If she DID say however that she did want to recon. I would have to give it some serious thought. As in SERIOUS. Iím not 100 percent sure I would. I donít know. I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

I feel as though. Looking back on my very first posts. I have reached many of the major milestones you guys set out. I reach them and then Iím told I did it all wrong. And that is very disheartening because Iím very proud of where I am. At this moment.m sitting here typing this

Maybe itís my cancer returning ahead of schedule IDK. But I think I look at life differently than most people. I just have to adapt and figure out what makes the most sense right now. The rest will go however it goes.

I will have lots of questions about how to behave around her the next few months after completely dropping the rope. Because I do want recon. Iím just gonna be completely ok if I donít get it. I love her. But Iím sure there is someone else out there that I could live too. Who knows


Please donít mistake my remarks as disrespect. You guys know how awesome you are
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For Newcomers
9 hours ago
Thanks KristinG & SoTorn,

Originally Posted by SoTorn
You cam detach while living together. It [censored] but its doable. I stayed in my marital home for 8 months after confirmation of my exwws affair. She treated me horribly. I dropped the rope and 100% focused on myself and my kids happiness.

You need to get to the point where you are indifferent to your WW.

I eventually mived out because my EXWW filed for D and it was over in May. I moved out June 1st.

Accept that your MR is over because it is. To truly detach you must truly do whats right for you. Do what makes you happy. Your WWs actions, desires and demands no longer matter.


So what was the purpose of staying in the marital home? Was it because you were hoping she would stay? I'm sorry, I'm just trying to understand why one would stay vs leave.

My W is in an A and in limerence with another woman. They have an addiction to each other. I've been reading up on limerence and listening to Dr. Joe Beam about the subject. I feel like in this situation, it doesn't matter what I do- she will be in limerence with the OW until the relationship dissolves. I don't need to be waiting around for that to happen.

My W is texting and contacting the OW while my S is around. She is being very disrespectful- even more so that she now knows that I know about the A and i'm not doing anything about it. Aside from the confrontation about the A- I resolved to respond to my wife with love and respect. But she's so immersed in this A. Like R2C or AS said, at this point there are no boundaries to put in place- it's either separation or D.

I've spoken to a L today, and there are no legal ramifications if my W and I decided to both leave our rental home. It would just be an agreement between two spouses to live apart from each other. We would agree on a parenting plan (how to share time with our son) and find our own places to live. The more I see how my W is interacting with the OW- the more I see that she needs to live her life without me. She needs to live out her fantasy with the OW. When the feelings of limerence dissipate, I may or may not be here for her if she wants to come back home. In the meantime, I'm going to be working on myself and making sure my son is happy.
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Midlife Crisis
9 hours ago
You guys are the best. Always appreciate the viewpoints. Juju- Iíve definitely tried going there. Just own it... I can be unapologetic for my actions because they already think the worst of me. Hmmm.

Own- ugh sorry that you can relate. Itís exhausting. Iím my heart I know itís about him and his choices. I know I will look back on this time and be ok with what Iíve done/ havenít done and be at peace with that. Thatís what matters. Itís ages though. This does feel like one of those bags I need to unpack before moving along on my journey.

I definitely want to read the attachment book! Thanks for sharing that. I was stretching on my yoga mat this morning and was trying to pin point parts of my childhood that are making me the way I am right now. (Especially with the attachment that you note). I couldnt recall any dynamic or instance, but doesnít all trauma stem from childhood??? Anyway, Iím not sure therapizing myself works but Iím not opposed to digging deep.

Interestingly, I just got an email from my ex with a cc to his lawyer outlining his thanksgiving travel plans and heís taking the dog because heís his emotional support animal. 2 first class tickets for him and a guest. He intentionally cut out the guests name. Must be nice being broke? The court order states that as soon as he gets back I can get the dog for my make-up time... and ex is trying to push it a few days so the dog can adjust at his home.

Nope...the dog can adjust on my time at his other home with me. Thank you very much.
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For Newcomers
9 hours ago
Originally Posted by sandi2
Quote
I guess it depends on whether I'm going with the be detached and happy DB route... or go with the stronger tough love DB route for WW.


It's all the DB route.

I am just now seeing where you said your W is living with OM. Yet, you still resist that she is wayward? You had rather believe this has been caused by mental illness, rather than a negative mindset about her H?


No resistance, the title already stated that this is WW smile

I'm just curious how much tough love should I be applying based on the options I listed.

Is there even a point in confronting her living with OM if she is not disclosing it?


Originally Posted by sandi2
Quote
I guess it depends on whether I'm going with the be detached and happy DB route... or go with the stronger tough love DB route for WW.


It's all the DB route.

I am just now seeing where you said your W is living with OM. Yet, you still resist that she is wayward? You had rather believe this has been caused by mental illness, rather than a negative mindset about her H?

Quote
Been struggling since the interaction several days ago... I think it's due to 2 things...

1. How poorly I handled the interaction... based on feedback from LH and Sandi.

2. How the sitch seems like it has not improved or even regressed from 2 weeks ago.


If the newcomer does something without running it by the board, then we try to point out how he should handle it. That's how you learn. It's not to make you feel worse about your sitch, okay?
...


I appreciate the feedback - keep it coming. Not trying to guilt trip the vets here for constructive feedback :P Just reflecting that I handled it poorly.

Originally Posted by sandi2

...
There is something I sense in your posting. You are focused on the reconciliation with your W. This can cause some men to take a WW back too easily and too soon. By that, I mean the H is sooooo focused on just getting his W back, that he doesn't tell her that it's not going to be that simple, and he doesn't tell her what will be required in order to really reconcile.
...


Maybe a bit... I go back and forth, but I think most LBS on here are like this? I think I have cognitive dissonance right now - logically, if I take a step back and look at everything that's happened, it's pretty f*cked up sh*t. I would not tell a friend to stay in this MR.

I'm holding ground on needing to see growth and change, self-reflection, no contact with AP/OM, therapy, etc... I'm just not seeing any progress from her, and the sitch seems to be getting worse since her initial anxiety from moving out / separation.
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For Newcomers
9 hours ago
Can anyone take us to the WAS mindset link from Another Stander that Ovr refers to above please? I couldnt find it. Ta
20 1,196 Read More
For Newcomers
9 hours ago
Wow Ovr, that's a really courageous thing to talk about and even moreso you opened up to your W about it. I admire that.
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For Newcomers
Yesterday at 11:56 PM
Hey IH

What's happening mate? Can you let us know what these developments are?

Cheers DS
55 1,568 Read More
For Newcomers
Yesterday at 11:54 PM
Hey Dan

Sorry you're still feeling down buddy. I hear what you're saying about your views and thoughts above. I too still have that rollercoaster, ebb and flow emotional journey.

Like you pointed out, you can't bring these things up with your W or tell her. She doesnt care right now. As the vets here repeat, it's about actions, not words. Keep DB'ing, keep posting and keep GALing.

How's gymwork going? Have you upped the weights yet? I'd get one of those body scan scales so you can track your progress with weight, BMI, percentages etc. Did you end up going to that NGS meet up?

Cheers DS
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