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She is still initiating conversations (texting) with me and while I have no doubt she truly cares about me, I am not sure where we stand moving forward other than being friends. I am finding myself in the same cycle as after my separation with my wife, which is to prepare for the worst but hope for the best. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I am definitely hurting at the thought of not having something more with her. It is so difficult for me to find this level of comfort and trust with another person. Do I just give it time or simply move on for my sake?
So based on your timeline - your BD was 5 months ago and you have been speaking to this woman for 4 months of it. Your problem isn't your lack of dating... your problem is you being uncomfortable with being alone.
IF you truly want to learn from your mistakes. IF you truly want to learn how to cope with heart break and failure. IF you truly want to grow in a way to not repeat behavior - you need to stop dating for now and learn to sit in your emotions. You need to not look comfort in the arms of someone else.
The cycle you mentioned is the one you created. If you want to break it - let this new girl go and be alone for awhile.
