Acceptance and forgiveness are closely linked. Or can be if one seeks that.
One can find a resigned acceptance to loss and the facts of the situation. Harbouring ill will and grudges to the parties involved.
Betrayal cuts deep and those wounds will heal. How well, and how much of a scar… we do influence that for ourselves.
Compassion, understanding, empathy, forgiveness, and acceptance is freeing. Forgiving is for you, not her.
I’m not suggesting you need to, or even will find forgiveness right away soon. Things take time. Especially to do right. And you want to do this right.
My point is to illustrate, demonstrate, show you that one can forgive. That your current feelings are not forever; even though they feel like that.
In time your anger will/can lessen and dissipate. Thing will look much different down the road than they do right now.
So no, you are not fooling yourself. You are crafting and imagining the possibility of forgiveness. And imagination is the first step in creation. If you cannot imagine forgiving, you’ll never acquire it. If you can imagine the possibility, then you’ve taken the most important step along that path.
It’s a most worthy journey my friend.
Healing from betrayal is hard. One’s default is to harden against the pain and possible future pains. Do not calcify your heart, keep it soft and squishy. My own betrayal wounds were incredibly deep. And healed equally as incredibly.
It is possible. For today it’s enough to just believe that.
