That's what I mean about the visitation. You're saying that it's forced visitation. I believe that's wrong. I don't believe the children should be forced to visit against their will as they are old enough to decide for themselves.
I suppose I was very lucky here. I didn't apply for an injunction against my h I was just given it. I think it went with his track record of violence particularly against me. The protection was given to me by the courts. I thought long and hard about it and decided that if my h ever hurt me again the courts would just say but we gave you an injunction and you went aganist that and i wouldn't have a leg to stand on (excuse the pun). Having said that I was very happy to take that option. I was reluctant to do so but as I'm my children's sole carer I thought that it was onlt fair to keep myself safe.
Things seem to work very differently in the US. Sometimes it seems for the better and other times not.
Oh, I believe it is wrong to force the children into a visitation they don't want also, but it's a new law here and xh took full advantage of it. I'm also going back to court on April 9th to recieve my punishment, as xh's attorney has written in her papers, which I received today. Yup, happy birthday to me! I see the cake by my name too.... how sweet, a reminder.
As for SRS, they do have their demands, thought S's room was too messy, as I must have it cleaned up by Monday. Like I don't have enough on my plate.
Looks like the only way I can get out of this mess, is to move to another state where woman and children actually have rights.
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
As for SRS, they do have their demands, thought S's room was too messy, as I must have it cleaned up by Monday.
How is it that YOU, a busy working mom, should be responsible for the cleanliness of the room of a teenage boy? Isn't that HIS job?
Still -just don't give them ANYTHING to use against you. Get D to help you make that room shine and sparkle.
Also - do you have a very good friend you could get to consult with you and give you an honest opinion? I'm thinking that you should make absolutely sure that your physical appearance for your court dates makes the best possible impression on the judge. I'm thinking of the kind of friend who can tell you things like "you have visible panty lines, that shirt makes you look slutty, that outfit makes you look stern" - whatever. You want to look attractive, motherly, sincere. You want to practice being very very calm as you tell your story.
I asked the Social worker if I could wait until S was home, so that the two of us could clean his room... she said no, she wanted it done by Monday. I've cleaned his room, he didn't respect it, didn't keep it clean, started to drag trash into his room just days after I clean it. She was a young person, barely out of college, no experience with raising children, no experience living on a farm, no experience with trying to juggle, jobs, children and their social life, along with having a 30 minute drive no matter what direction.
As for court... I wear very simple clothes, although it would probably do me good to have my hair cut. Being very calm has been my problem, I have been feeling my emotions coming closer to the surface with this case, for it has to do directly with my children. Today I felt my frustrations turning into anger, as I wanted to explain to this social I felt she really wasn't here for MY and the children's best interest.
Xh had so many lies (again) written in his complaint, he even said I refused to allow the Sheriff into the house when he was here checking on S. It wasn't true, S and I were already outside trying to discuss or help him express what was truly bothering him.
I just feel so much pressure, like I've been beatened down, just like xh wants me to... I can see what is going on, but I just can't seem to get anyone else to see the picture. I'm becoming afraid that he will, as he has, overpower the situation once again, and I will loose my children.
It just doesn't make sense to me, how someone who has done nothing buy lie, cheat and steal, be able to come out looking like the saint, while squelching the truth, then projecting his own actions upon me. The truth lies just at the surface, and I can't seem to get anyone to listen.
Oh well, what ever will happen, is meant to be.
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
There is no way my children would go and stay with their father if they were forced to do it. they would have to be dragged there kicking a screaming. What's going on over there? I find all of this very disturbing.
First of all, the visitation laws have changed here in KS, xh took advantage of them, went to court, and is now saying I interferred with his visitation, that I've been alienating the children against him, therefore, they have decided they didn't want to see him. He is using this new law to enforce or force the children to visit him in CA or at his wife's house in KS.
Part of what is going on, is xh wants to have custody of the children.... why? Because he wants to keep the money he has been paying for support. He also wants to collect child support from me, which will make up for the lost income of his new wife. It seems the elderly man she had in her care, passed away yesterday, as it seems he has been sick for the past few months, or about the same time xh (and she) has (have) been trying to prove I'm an unfit parent... while also tryiing to gain not only custody of her own children, but also moving them all to CA to live with xh.
The elderly man's health has been kept a secret, not even the children knew of his health. I know they both expressed thoughts of moving him out to CA also, but when her children and their fathers' won in court, it stopped her from moving the man and herself to CA.
Is this why xh seems to be attacking me with a vengence? Could be.... he feels my "involvement" with his wife's exhusbands has something to do with her loosing in court. What he won't do is acknowledge the attorney for the exhusbands only spoke the truth, and they found it without my input, but I think xh doesn't feel this way.
The $3,000/month she earned from "caring" for this man, will hurt their financial situation, so, I think they are looking for easy ways of reducing their bills/responsibilities.
As for the court situation, well, xh's attorney is very good, charges top dollar, is a small town hero, because she grew up here and was able to make a name for herself too. As for my input, I don't know my way around court as well as xh, I don't know how to tell the ridiculous lies he is able to, along with making them sound real..... plus, he always has a witness, either his father or the last year of so, his wife goes to court with xh, while I arrive alone, which I believe hurts my case.
I don't know, it just seems to me, money and power have more pull than the truth in court. I need to change the way I do things, I need to change my way of thinking and I need to do better.
Well, back to the laundry for me. Take care, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
I spoke with S just a little while ago. It seems with xh at the helm, they start driving early in the morning, they are already in New Mexico, after leaving the house at 6:00am yesterday morning.
I wonder how he'll explain driving the chiildren home with his restricted license? I'm sure xh will come up with something.
It seems xh has been filling S with his (xh's) rendition of what is going on around here. Told S the same stories he has been telling SRS and the Sheriff's department. S said to me, "He hates you Mom, but for things you haven't done, he hates you, but has no real reason to be this way." I told S that I thought he was very smart, that I'm glad he is able to hold on to his own memories of what has happened. I know sometimes in these situations I've become confused about what I thought I was real, what I remembered and what the truth really is, and I hope he continues to be able to hold on to his own truth.
I know now, the only thing I can do now, is to have both children speak to the Judge, and maybe then, at least parts of the truth can come out.
Well, back to my day, already in progress.
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
