Dragging me from the curb into Court..... AGAIN!

[Karen58]

Oh, Laughing,

I don't know what to say. That whole scene w/ your d was so awful. Are you able to get another L?

-- Karen

[Between Tears]

Thanks everyone... I do appreciate your thoughts.

I just heard from S, who just woke up, and wanted to talk to me before everyone else was awake. He said they all listen to his phone calls, so he won't say anything while anyone else is around, so he'll call me when he can.

He did say it's a huge house, sitting on the golf course, in a large gated community. He said Dad told him it only costs him $50 more a month to live in the house than it did for the 2 bedroom apartment down town. I asked what he thought about this, he said "Dad thinks I'm stupid, if he thinks I believe him."

He said that his Grandfather was doing okay, and tried to drive for a while, but kept trying to get off on all the wrong exits. He said it was a long drive, but as he listened, he realized these people aren't dealing with reality, don't know the truth, or just don't understand what kind of life we had/have.

S was also worried about me, for he heard them put a warrant out for me for parental kidnapping, and wanted to make sure I was still okay. So, that's why xh told his attorney I sped away from the police station. So, IF I were to go to the police station to get the report the officer wrote, I can get arrested for kidnapping, even though the truth is that I sat there until I was told it was okay to go.

I thought I was in between a rock and a hard place before.... I can't even imagine even thinking about doing this to another soul, never mind doing it. Although, IF I can actually get someone to look at the facts as opposed to the "story" xh, his wife and his attorney have written, it will be easy to see the abuse behind what they all have done.

I have called another attorney, as a matter of fact, I called the attorney that (careful this is going to get confusing)xh's wife's, xhs' (yes, the both of them) used in their cases against xh's wife. He did say he would love the case, but it was going to cost me $3,000 for a retainer, which I don't have. Although I do have things around here that I can sell, and hopefully, I can sell them this week in order to hire this man. He's already seen what these two (xh and his wife) can and are willing to do, has seen the games, the lies, and the misrepresentations, so I thought he would be a good place to start.

Well, I don't want to spend too much time on the computer, and spend all my time with D, for this just might be the last Spring Break I have with her.

Take care of you, God Bless

Love,

Laughing

[kml]

Un-freaking-believable!!!!!!!!!

Thank god he sent that in an email - every bit of hard evidence like that is really important. And hopefully the report that child protective services wrote is so positive that it will be clear to a judge that he's harassing you.

I think that's a brilliant idea to get that attorney - whatever you can do to get him would be worth it, I think.

I'm so glad your daughter is eating - just be really careful to watch and see she's not purging. (My daughter would eat dinner normally, then shower an hour later and throw it all up in the shower). Hopefully, your daughter's weight loss is just due to stress and not a full-fledged eating disorder.

I wish you'd had a video camera at that exchange. At least you will have the police report confirming that she refused to go. Don't know what you're supposed to do in that case.

Please be careful. These two sound like absolute fruitcakes. Don't get arrested - have just been through an awful time getting my brother out of jail on a charge he did not commit, it's a slow and difficult process. If that warrant has been issued, you may need a criminal defense attorney to help.

Ellie

[Between Tears]

Yes, Ellie,

D is eating, and I haven't caught her going into the bathroom after eating... it is stress related, I know it, and if we can get into a stable place, we could possibly avert more serious cycles. I'm watching for distancing moves, which could be a sign she's moving into a different level of this... I'm not sure if I've accurately described what I'm trying to explain, but I am watching for changes in her patterns, and so far, so good.

Snodderly,

Yes, xh and his wife are vindictive and evil, but I haven't made any aggressive movement towards xh, except to keep him at bay or at distance, or out of my life, as in not accepting his/the kids' Christmas present recently, unless, as he said in his email, my involvement with his wife's xh and mother. All I did was give them his (old) address and phone number to let them know where their kids were going.... so I don't understand the need to destroy me, although he is out to destroy me. He knows the only thing that could destroy me, would be to loose the kids. They may feel that I am the cause of her loosing her kids, so it's only fair that I loose mine.... As we both know, nothing but her own actions, their own actions created the life they have now.... as all the things he has accused me of have been lies, made up events, but then again, they do have to blame someone else, and haven't learned to take responsibility for the events.

I'm going to SRS on Monday with the email, so they can at least put it in their file. I will give them access to my email address so they can verify it's authenticity, then I'm going to the Sheriff's office to voice my complaint, and again a copy of the email to place along with the other Sheriff's report, then ask them to check talk to the police station to see what they actually have for/about me and this visitation.

Yes, the Sheriff department protects the county, and rural residents, the police protect the larger nearby town/county seat... I know this adds to my/the confusion, as I need to get everyone talking to each other to help bring this all together. Then I need to update the counselor, for he is trying to help me keep this all witnessed and dialoged..... oh yeah, then the Drs. office too.... I need a "wife" to help me keep this organized! I'm also going to let them all know when xh brought the SRS and their interview in at the last moment, sent D over the edge, for I had her feeling safe enough to go, but that last ditched effort on his behalf shattered everything I did up until that point.... I feel he knew what he was doing too....

Revenge? Nope, not me, I already see the two of them married to each other revenge enough. Oh, sure, she made it a point to hang her ring finger out the window and wiggle it around, as all I could do was laugh.... I thought, "I know what you are in for, and when you begin to see the signs of it happening to you, you'll look to me to support your claims, it will come around, it always does." The two of them will destroy each other when the time comes, I won't have to lift a finger, but I will enjoy the show.

D and I are looking towards the future, her 8th grade promotion and making plans for things we want to do. It's beautiful out, the sun is shining and it's 75 degrees... we are just enjoying the gifts of today.

Take care of you, God Bless

Love,

Laughing

[kml]

Revenge? Nope, not me, I already see the two of them married to each other revenge enough.

Amen to that.

I think she will make his life quite a hell - the one he deserves.

Ellie

[Goinbatty]

As you are doing, document, document, document.
You'll find that law enforcement folks don't like being told fibs. Your recent posts remind me why I chose to take a higher road with my x1 for the benefit of DD. It worked. Let them be a reminder to others.
They also remind me why I've distanced and not made any contact with my X2 (just past the third anniversary of no contact, other than forwarding mail) - there is no dealing with nut cases.
Thanks, as usual, for being so open.
Take care.

[Between Tears]

Ever, Mermaid, Karen, Cinder,

I'm sorry for not posting to you before, it's not that I didn't read your posts, I was really in a hurry to get back with D, along with trying to focus on the things I need to do. Your posts are important to me, but as you probably realize, I am overwhelmed trying to catch all the fallout from this past weekend. You all are very special and your posts have brought much needed support to me.

Ellie,

As I read your post, I thought, dam, their life has all the exterior appearance of perfection, BUT, the internal, or spiritual life they lead, must be hell already. The anger and bitterness they hold on to in order to do the things they do, has to be destroying them from the inside out. Eventually, it wopn't be long before all those "nice" trappings that give the appearance of the good life, are gone too.

Batty,

I'm trying my best to get it all down. The problem with all my documentation wasn't witnessed by the proper authorities..... now, I'm learning, oh, and I forgot the threatening voicemails from last week too, that I have saved. I need to have them given to the proper authorities too. I'm going to keep on going until they are sick of hearing from me. Xh has it looking like I'm the one who is doing all of this, and now, I know how to at least get the documentation to prove it's not me, but getting it heard in court is going to be another story.

Thanks to you all.

D is resting already, she's worried, I can tell, but she is doing her best to be brave. This has been hard on both children. My S is out there, I know he has mixed feelings, although I know that SRS welfare check really got to him, and he's possibly seeing the other side of his Dad, as he begins to understand what I have been dealing with all along. I worry about the conflicts he might be feeling, what he might be thinking. He missed his tractor safety class last weekend, something he had been looking forward to. I wonder if he went quietly so he wouldn't cause me any greater stress... Imagine, waking up early so that you can call home, he feels he can't let his Dad see that he talks to me.... his Father has claimed that I'm the one who is using parental alienation to separate them from him, when I've only tried to foster a good relationship. I pray we can turn this around.

Good night, sweet dreams.... God Bless

Love,

Laughing

[Between Tears]

Oh my, I've been having some dreams, I awoke with a start, when my sleeping mind finally connected some dots. Oh sure, it may be justification, and I realize this, but trying to draw a conclusion why xh has been so evil, so condeming, why he can't remember or want to remember anything good about me, when he always, always said I was a good parent, even in his longest bouts with his anger, he was always grateful the kids were with me.... Then my mind went back to the article about his motorcycle accident, when he was found without a helmet. I kept thinking he could possibly going through withdrawal from alcohol and even the pain killers couldn't mask enough of the symptoms, then I thought maybe his Drs. are reducing his pain meds on top of it, but then I hit me as I slept, his extreme anger, his inability to recall me as a parent, his complete denial of anything positive I did towards the visitation, could it all be signs of an undiagnosed brain injury?

Just before his accident, he said he'd never marry his girlfriend, he was adamant, as he not only told me, but several of his friends. Sure accidents do cause people to change, but that was something I don't think he would have changed, especially to get married just three days after his Sister's funeral. He's not one to lie about things that can so easily proven to be a lie, for instance, me speeding off with D in the car. There were two officers present who could testify differently, he's too smart for that, these are stupid mistakes, just like the email about the SRS. It's as if he wants to be caught.

Sure, this all could be me trying to put a positive spin on things, BUT, I came to this while sleeping, and usually those ideas that come to me during slumber, are usually the most acurate.

Just a thought, and maybe one possible answer out of thousands.

Well, it's time for me to jump into the shower.

Take care of you, God Bless

Love,

Laughing

[brandnewday]

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

I am so sorry you are going through this.

I am so proud of you for remaining strong and being such a good Mother to your children.

My Dad did some of this stuff to my Mother when my sister and I were kids, but she couldn't handle the stress and gave up custody of me for the sake of peace.

It is something that I have struggled with my whole life.
That is why you impress me so much with your strength, your children will never ever forget the personal sacrifices you have made and are making...

Even when they act like teenagers and are a pain in the arse.

Thank you for always being such a great example.


(((((FAITH))))

[brueniap]

Laughing,
You are such an amazing woman with all you have gone thru. I know how terribly it all hurts. I hold my breath every time I read your posts and the new turn of events that never seem to stop.

I just wanted to comment on the "brain injury" thot. My H had that from his 50 foot fall. Bruised brain. Talk about being a wacko. That was a most difficult time for me and the kids. No one could understand why he was acting so outrageously and being so mean when we weren't used to that at all. But at least we knew that it was brain injury. We also knew that he could have the chance of remaining that way for the rest of his life - only time would tell. Many times people end up divorced after such an accident because the personality change is more than one can bear.

10 years have gone by now. My H has mellowed over time - but admits that things are different since the accident......His short term memory isn't worth crap. I'm amazed he does so well on his own because he forgets so easily about things...sometimes even things we've done together during this separation he'll say "really? we did that? Oh, I guess we did, didn't we?"

So I think your questions are well-founded and very possibly the reason why things have gotten so much worse. Unfortunately.....there isn't a darn thing you can do about it. You can't even say anything to him about it. No one will listen to you on this one since no one diagnosed it that you know of. But it truly would explain so much. Just keep doing what you're doing and make sure you keep records of every little thing that transpires - in the end it'll make a difference.

I wish things would change for you. You have been here such a long time and have so uplifting to many of us. I'm sorry, Laughing, for all you have had to go thru. You have many hugs from me.........not that that's much to write home about......but you are truly in my thots and prayers. God bless you richly today.

brue