I am so sorry. I cannot understand how this can happen. Your children are old enough to speak for themselves. The judge should interview them. It makes me so angry that his lies are believed. I can't believe his L could say those things with a sraight face.
Jack is right your children are so smart and they know the truth. I feel for them having to go with her to California. It is unfair for them really since they do not want to be with her.
Laughing, I'm very sorry to hear this news. However, in time, this situation will change. How old are your children? They should be old enough to speak up to a judge/lawyer about how they feel about going w/that woman. Bide your time, Laughing. Changes are coming once again and then things should settle down once and for all for you.
It's very sad that it all came to this, but in the end, he has lost the respect of his children and I also suspect that it will not be easy or any of them during these visits. If I recall, your daughter is already on to him and will take him to the mat. It's your son that I worry about the most. He's still young enough to be influenced by promises, etc.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am so sorry. That is all I can say to this madness.
I know that your feelings now are beyond what H did to you, the M, his W, etc.
This is about your kids, your role and quality as a mother being slandered in court. No matter how much you know that is FALSE, it still hurts to hear in court with your kids.
I'm sorry that you have to take your kids to the POLICE STATION to exchange them.
I am sorry that your H is making such a mess of this...mostly I am sorry for the kids.
They have an incredible mother, and they deserve a good father as well.
I know you make up for both now.
Trust that your children know you, your love, your care and your thoughts.
Once again, thank you all, I appreciate your generous support and kindness.
How this happened, well, I have a fairly new attorney that has been working on all the financial stuff and lies I had given him. This visitation crap was brought on by xh just a week or so. My attorney probably thought he'd be able to settle it by requesting mediation, not knowing the cut throat techniques of xh and his attorney. He was unaware of the Hearing being set, for he had been in court all week, which includes this morning, before my case, in a different county.
He called me yesterday to confirm the hearing, which he thought wouldn't get this far, in fact, thought it could be handled with fax machines and phone calls. Yesterday, he asked me to compile the all of xh's visitations, which I had done, but he didn't even have the time to read. He arrived just as the Judge was ready, giving us a total of 5 minutes for me to fill him in.
XH said he hadn't lost his security clearance, but because of his injuries, he wasn't working on site.... a lie, he went back to work on January 3, until his management found out about the DUI, well actually it's no longer a DUI, it's (dang, the name escapes me) which is one step below a DUI. His Counselors believe it is his first offense....not his third! XH swears he's been alcohol free since the day of his accident.
BTW, xh is walking with a limp, doesn't use a walker nor cane any longer. My attorney did say since he was an Instructor, we didn't understand why he couldn't work on site... but, again, it didn't hit the Judge in the right way, I guess.
XH swears he asked for the children last summer, BUT, I told him no because he didn't give me a 30 day notice.... I didn't get a chance to mention that his D went to Florida with a friend and her parents AND he sent her money to go.... I'd call that giving his permission. I didn't get a chance to mention S was in driver's ed, summer conditioning, football camp, basketball camp, then 2 a day football practices last summer. I didn't refuse him, he didn't even talk to me about seeing them.
xh said I've been hostile, telling the kids all sorts of lies about him, turning the children against him. He didn't feel safe picking the children up from the farm, because of what I could do.
Tonight, I realized that I cannot be in his presence without a wittness. So, I called one of the kids teachers, who volunteered over a month ago to give me a hand. Before she was a teacher, she was a social worker, who is very insightful about situations like these, and who knows my children nearly as well as I do. She instintively knows what's going on with my kids, knows when xh is around, just by the way either one of my two is acting. I called her today to ask her for help, told her what I've been up against, and I need someone who can remain "middle of the road" and have the children's best interest in heart. She's already told me she will meet me at 8:00 on Sunday night too.
Her presence spooked xh when they arrived. I hope the hell he understands that he's not going to do this again. I will do better with protecting my children, and I will do everything I can to prove his lies. I will have someone wittness every meeting from now on.
I may be in the back seat right now, but I plan on taking over the steering wheel very soon. I explained to my attorney that xh originally used the divorce to manipulate me, once it was over, he used the child support, once I received an income withholding order, he used the farms, now that the farms are in foreclosure, he is using the children. I said to him "for three years there hasn't been a problem with his visitation, why do you think there all of a sudden he does now?"
I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to prove to the court that xh has done nothing but lie, and used his attorney to make it seem true. I want to have his attorney see the kind of manipulator he truly is. I would like for her to be so disgusted that she drops him cold. That will stop him from bothering me, once and for all, and hopefully allow the children and I some peace.
Sorry for the vent, I'm just so angry and hurt right now.
Take care, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
I have to hand my children over to his wife the Thursday before Spring Break..... so she can take them to California.
ROFLMAO!!!! Wouldn't you LOVE to have a secret camera in THAT car? A cross-country car trip with two teens who hate her guts??? OW's getting HER due!!!
Don't sweat it, Laughing. Rent the movie She-Devil with Roseanne Barr and watch it with your kids Roseanne Barr's H leaves her for wealthy childless romance-writer Meryl Streep. Roseanne burns down her own house and leaves the kids on H and OW's doorstep. While the kids gradually destroy H and OW's R, Roseanne builds a successful career for herself. You'll laugh yourself silly.
Leave it to you! Thanks I needed the laugh... although, there are going to be 4 teens, three of which hate her guts and one 10 year old and one 7 year old going in one mini van with a man who has dementia wearing adult diapers.
My son has been promised a $6,000 car, her kids have been promised a trip to Disneyland, wind surfing, a boat ride, days at the beach, mini golf, and a day anothe place with mini race cars and other things they get to ride/drive, along with selecting some of their stuff to come home with them, that was shipped to Ca during Christmas break.
The way back to KS is going to be a killer for her when the kids realize they have all been duped!
Although xh will say that it's your mother's fault I couldn't get you the car... in some wonderful form or another.
Oh, and I forgot, D said that if they make me go to CA with her, I'm going make them REGRET making me go. She's intelligent, defiant, and head strong.... neither one of them will be much of a match for her. Oh sure, she was all tears when I had to tell her she had to go tonight, but her determination will rise as she begins to flip those tears into anger.
I also warned my attorney, if either one of them lays one hand on either child, I will go to CA myself and get my kids. He better be ready for my defense.
He gave me one of those funny looks, as I believe he knew I meant it.
Oh yes, she will have the drive of a lifetime, and I hope she rethinks the summer vacation.
Thanks for lifting me up....
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
Laughing, You did the right thing by asking your friend to accompany you to drop the children off. I imagine he was quite surprised to see that you had done that. From last night forward, you will need to have another party present when you do this. You do not want to give him anything to use against you. The witness will put his fire out for he shall not be able to push your buttons in his/her presence.
As for your children, I'm counting on your daughter giving them the blues up front and center. She's a smart cookie and will give it to her father in a heartbeat and not think anything of it. Now your son, he's at the impressionable age and promises of this or that will reel him in. Unfortunately, the reeling will take place for a while, but the actual payment on those promises may not over occur. Your son will see the light in due time. Do not ever worry about that. These two so call grown ups have a lot of growing to do in the months ahead as your children could teach them both a few things.
Laughing, you are their lighthouse in the storm and your children will return to you for stability and love. Never doubt that. I'm hoping that the current storm will die down and things will get back to normal after a while. Your xh knew that this was the one area that was a bone of contention for you, so he went after you full force. When he discovers that you are enjoying your "free" time and doing things to move forward, I promise you, the visitation will go by the wayside.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Roseanne Barr's H leaves her for wealthy childless romance-writer Meryl Streep. Roseanne burns down her own house and leaves the kids on H and OW's doorstep. While the kids gradually destroy H and OW's R, Roseanne builds a successful career for herself. You'll laugh yourself silly.