Dragging me from the curb into Court..... AGAIN!

[Between Tears]

Alas, it is true, I'm going to court Friday (tomorrow) at 2:30.

I am so sick of this, I want to scream. This time, Spring Break, and visitation in general. Xh refuses to answer my request for confirmation of S's safe return after his visit in CA. Also, refuses to give consent to mediation.... so now we have a Hearing.

Oh, and I have homework to do also.... I've been told to gather information about every visit xh has had since the divorce. Thank GOD for these archives, for there I will find ALL my information. I just have to read every post I've made since my arrival, July 2004.... Thankfully, I haven't been here as long as a few posters! I'm looking for the bright side here... so give me space.

Anyway, Xh's wife had a court date yesterday... (Have you noticed the connection yet... she's in court, I'm in court, talk about the need for drama! The need for drama, to prevent the kings and queens of Drama from looking at what's going on in reality, and to help them from taking a look at themselves..... Yup, I get it.) End result of her court date, her allegations of abuse, thrown out, AND her youngest is going to stay in KS too. She has another court date in April as I suppose, so will I. Arrgghhh! Get me out of here soon Mr. Wizard.... I just want my life own life back!

I am welcoming any and all postive thoughts... I would really like this whole thing to turn around. Yes, yes, I understand, if I want change, I must change myself first..... I'm doin' the best I can.

I'll let you know how things turn out sometime tomorrow!

Take care of you, God Bless

Love,

Laughing

[Jeanette1120]

Ohhhhhhhh.........Laughing! I am so feeling your pain! I am with you all the way sista.....Mr. Wizard get me out of here I want my lif back!

Stay calm.....do the dreaded homework, become the robot you need to be to get through the drudgery! There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I KNOW THERE IS!

He is only doing this to make you miserable, and he is succeeding. Don't let him do that! Do what you must as it is your sanity and your life your protecting.

We'll be with you tomorrow in spirit. Let us know how it goes.

Take it easy sweetums. Your almost there.

Jeanette

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Laughing you have been through so much, and become such a strong person for it.

You more than most know that todays pain and discomfort fades tomorrow and worrying about tomorrow's pain still won't change it.

It is drama they want...and they are managing to get a rise out of you.

"Look at me, look at me! Look at me!" what happens if you don't look?

Thoughts and prayers with you today and tomorrow and the next, so on.

[mermaid]

Laughing,

I am so sorry about this latest round of crap xh is putting you through. He wants your attention. He wants to control you and keep you from moving forward with your life.

As always you are in my thoughts and prayers. I will say an extra prayer for you.

[Between Tears]

Jeanette, Jack and Mermaid,

All of you are so right! I've been reading these archives all day, okay, it seems like all day, and although I haven't finished yet, I have been able to see the patterns. It is exactly as you say Mermaid, he wants to control me and keep me from moving forward. When he feels he has the control, and I go with his flow, WE get along, talk, visit like "friends".... but when I move on, under my own control or power, I have so much trouble and seem to go to court often.

I need to understand how to stop all of this, without having to give up my own future. How do I allow him to feel in control without giving up my own? There's got to be a happy medium..

Well, I'm going back to the archives... it's been interesting to look at the past. I do see how I have changed.

Thanks so much for your support....

Take care of you, God Bless

Love,

Laughing

[always_14]

((( Laughing )))

You were one of the first people to post to me when I entered this forum. This awful terrain of MLC, so scary back then!

I remember that, your words of kindness, and your encuoragement for me to find this time for me.

You are so strong. You are a shining example of a person who has taken awful circumstances and held it together through it, for you and the kids.

I am sorry this is happening. Stick to your guns. Do what is right for you and your kids. Especially the kids. They need to have NORMAL parent in the picture now.

I am so sorry for your pain. The fact that this does not end. The fact that his need for drama creates that in your life, when you seek peace.

You will have peace soon. Goodness will come.

I don't know what to say about H. He is a mess. They all are. I gues I could go shake my Magic 8 ball for clearer answers....it's about that useful.

smooches

[job]

Laughing,
By reading your old postings, you've come to realize just how much you've changed over the years. That is what is driving this train for your xh. He knows that you've become extremely independent, stronger and yes, happier. He has seen how much you've changed and to be perfectly honest w/you, he doesn't like it. He wants the old Laughing back and he wants her back right now.

Keep in mind, they all want to control something. He's lost control over his own life and it's in a tailspin. So, what better what to try to bring order back into his own? Why, take Laughing to court and bring her back into obedience to him once again. NADA. Your xh has lost it all and can't or doesn't want to accept the fact that he's been very unlucky in a lot of areas of his life. The game has folded and this is his last ditch effort to win.

Laughing, tomorrow is going to be a difficult one for you, but you can handle it. Continue to read through the archives, your answers will be there. You've begun to see the pattern, i.e., you distance yourself and appear to be moving on and he attempts to suck you back in by withholding money and all of those court dates. I'm hoping that this will be the last one for a very long time.

Good luck!

[M Go Blue]

Laughing

My dear friend; "this too shal pass."

Why do things continue as they do? None of us can be totally sure.

I often say things happen "for us" versus "to us." Well, there is this other possibility that exists as well. We may just be players in what is happening "for others."

The experiences you are going through may be more for your XH, than they are for you. You are connected to the experience, but we don't know fully what role you play in this particular situation.

Repeat this ten times. It's not about me. It's not about me.

Love,
Paul

[Goinbatty]

Very wise words from Paul once again L.
Best of luck in there on Friday. It will work out as it should.

I'll check back in about five days, hope to read some good news.
I'm off to the desert in the AM. (No internet out there! )

[Between Tears]

Always_14, Snodderly, Paul and Batty,

Thank you all for your support and kindness. I can tell you reading those old posts have been something else. I remember many of them as if it was just yesterday, as I felt funny about that, and then wondering how long have I been wondering around in circles too?

I can say, looking back into history does mess with my emotions. I felt the ups and downs along with each post I read and am still reading. I was feeling overwhelmed, until I read your posts to me, for today. It was almost as your words snapped me back into today.... and I really, really appreciate you being here.

I see each time I dwell on the past, is when I lost hope, lost my focus, lost my momentum.... of course this won't help me with tomorrow, but the information we have all stored here will.

Snodderly, you predicted that xh would have me back in court several more times, way back in fall of 2004. I know I'm partically responsible for this, just due to my own actions, and needs but it has me wondering why am I still going back and forth, while others have only needed to go for the divorce? I know some of it comes from not taking responsibilities for my own actions as it is for xh, and yes, misery loves company, both he and his wife are doing the same thing to their exspouses and children. So, they are unhappy people, who are together, needing to see other people unhappy too. There's no logic, but I do so need to get out of this situation once and for all.

What do changes do I need to make in order to have this happen?

He's in town, hasn't said a word to me, hasn't told me when he's going to pick up the kids, nor bring them back, or even where he may be taking them. His wife, demands the fathers of the children to be on time, on such and such day... but she doesn't feel the same rules don't apply to her. They are both very much the same in the way they treat their ex's, as I've also heard she used to amiable with the kids' Dads until she and xh into the picture, as xh and I can often be, when they are apart. Funny how this all plays together.

All I know, is I want out, I want out now.... I'm just so tired of this all.

Thanks for listening...

Take care of you, God Bless

Love,

Laughing