Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 2 1 2
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 186
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 186
I continue to do everything wrong. Still trying to engage in lots of relationship talk. Persistently driving her away. She's more and more angry and frustrated with me. Says I'm not hearing what she says. Just like I never listened to or validated her feelings. She demonizes me. Claims I destroyed her self esteem, etc. I've been totally unsuccessful in detaching and DBing. I just continue to pursue and do all the stuff that isn't working.

My wife has signed the lease on an apartment and will move out probably by the end of the month. We're in mediation to talk about the kids and division of assets. Now I'm afraid she's so angry she'll won't even want to stay in mediation.

It's all completely f*cked.

Struggling_Husband


"Now some kind of man, he can't do anything wrong. If I see him I'll tell him you're waiting." ---Lowell George
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 631
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 631
Struggling well, you were very good at pointing out where you goofed. Now make the decision right now, today, to not do those things anymore.

The good thing about the MLCer is that their memory is not so great.

So we can back slide as you did, and by the time that you get yourself back on track, they have hopefully forgotten why they are mad at you.

She signed the lease to the apt. Well wish her well,aske her if you can help her with anything. You are her friend, right? just not her best friend.

We all backslide sweet ums, all of us. I did it on a daily basis when i got here last year, and Um I think i did it again yesterday

Don't be so hard on yourself sweetheart.

What are you doing for you? What are you doing to keep your mind off you W for now?

I know it sounds impossible, to think about anything else, but if you make the DECISION to start doing for yourself and your kids, it will happen.

Take it one day at a time , half hour at a time if you need to.

Half hour, you don't call her, you don't speak to her, and then guess what another half hour and you do the same. You will get the hang of it.

This is a hard ride, this is a true test of patience. You can do this, we are here to help you.

Vent here, talk about what you want to say to her , here.

After you have gotten it all out here, then you will feel more calm, and won't react to her right away.

You will get the hang of it, But you need to make the DECISION to do it.

Lissett


One shoe can change your life.~ Cinderella
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard