Well.... My H arrived at his "Mommy's" for Christmas. She only called 3 times to check on his arrival...Aghhh! Sometimes I wonder if MIL's are as bad as OW. So much manipulation.... Well my dear MIL best enjoy her Christmas with having her Son all to herself, it will be the last time in a long time. I heard from my BIL. He said that he thinks his mother is unbelievable and is so pissed off that she has pulled this crap again. I said nothing, but inside I am seething OK...Lets be positive! I am with my 8 wonderful children and we are going to have fun regardless of the rest of the family
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Well, Merry Christmas BND with your 8 beloved ones. It must be reassuring to know that your BIL and H both realize what your MIL is like. At least you have them on your side, right? ~PH
I have spent most of the day preparing for tomorrow. Cookies have been made, my roast is marinating for tomorrow and I have a huge pot of abondiga soup for tonight. My H called me this morning and we spoke for about an hour. He promised me that next Christmas we will all be together. Tonight I am taking all of the kids to the movies. This is totally not me, but it's time to pull a few 180's~! I want my kids to have some fun.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.......AND GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU.
XXXX
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Even though your h is w/his mommy, he'll be thinking of you and your family the entire time. He'll be home before you know it and it will be well worth the wait.
Enjoy the holiday season and I'm glad you found the cash register!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
sorry your H didn't make it and never did learn how you talked to him about the trip to his mom's. For now, wth? You are having Christmas dinner and a movie and the kids will remember that. I'm one of 9 kids and can count on one hand how many movies all siblings went to....some of my favorite memories are of those 3 movies, seriously.
Anyhow, Merry Christmas, things are good here. When will you see H again? When is the official move back? talk to you soon, j
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
J I am muddling through today and trying to stay happy...or at least keep a smile on my face. MIL is on my s**t list and I think this last scheme of hers has won her manipulator of the year award. Today my H told her that he wanted to leave by noon to beat the traffic, as he has to work tomorrow. MIL told him he can't leave until 3 as her sister won't be there 'til then. Of course he conceded. I have tried so hard not to be controlling and to not interfere. It is times like this I want to just scream when I see what she is doing and he says nothing about it. In my head I try to tell myself it doesn't really matter, that she isn't important. But she is HIS Mother, not OW. For over 20 years I have been a part of that bloody family and until this MLCBS happened, his family always sent Christmas cards and called occasionally. Now nothing. Not one Christmas card or a phone call in over 2 years. We are not Divorced, I wasn't the one who left. My children don't even know who these people are anymore. ************ The kids enjoyed the movie, it was fun for them. We didn't get home til almost midnight and so they slept in this morning til 7..!!! My H called me to wish me a Merry Christmas and we spoke for about an hour. He keeps trying to reassure me that WE are going to be OK, that he will be home soon and not to worry. I have become to used to dissapointment that I no longer have expectations and maybe that makes me cynical now. I don't like that part of me, but I think it is a necessary evil now, maybe a survival mechanism. I love my Husband, and I am looking forward to my future but it is going to take alot of time before I can completely let my guard down. I still can't "say" I love you, the words seem to have trouble leaving my mouth. I do enjoy hearing those words from him, I just want action now, no more words.
Anyway, I have to go and check on dinner. Blessings..... XXX
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
just to commiserate a bit....my mil has not called once to check on the kids, UNLESS H is visiting and she calls HIM, and then might ask to talk to the girls or s20. I answered the phone yesterday and H was shopping so she was stuck talking to me....not one question about what is going on or why her son lives in Alaska...our kids are her ONLY grandchildren and always will be the only ones. She has so little to do with them and her questions are irrelevant. I shoved college info about d17 in her face so she'd have some idea that d17 is NOT d11, b/c ummmm, TIME HAS PASSED....???? And d9 is not d2, but anyhow. It is HER loss much more than theirs. And H has a funny thing about his mom as well. When we got married in the Catholic church I attended, H had no objectiong except he wouldn't promise to convert. No biggie since his church is Russian Orthodox, has same sacraments, etc. BUT H's mother was furious (I knew NOTHING OF THIS UNTIL 1 YEAR AGO) and insisted we marry in HER church, which H had Not attended in a decade and which MIL didn't attend more than once every other year for God's sake. Hypocritical....ANYHOW, H promised her that our children would be raised and baptized in his church, I guess in exchange for us Marrying in mine...??? ( I KNEW NOTHING OF THIS EITHER, UNTIL 1 YEAR AGO). SO, at first child's baptism, mil does NOT attend and it is b/c Son is being baptized Catholic, which mil says while on speaker phone....OUCH!! And H never says a word to me about his original promise, and lets the R between mil and me get worse and worse. IF he had not made the promises, OR if he had at least told me of them, our R would have been much better. He sees himself as being "Conflict avoidant" as if I ENJOY conflicts. Thing is, his behavior INCREASES the conflicts in the long run, and dumps them on others. H trying to please all the women in his life...ends up pleasing none of us in that regard.
His father and mother are divorced. His dad remarried and StepMIL and fil have been as supportive as THEY can be, meaning they don't want to take sides, but they call and write to us which is much better than falling off the face of the earth as MIL and BIL/SIL did. I was so close to bil, like a brother to me and ONE time I was so frustrated with H's family for having NO contact I said, "thanks for never calling the girls" and bil hung up on me....I ended up apologizing, and still haven't heard a word. Now I feel that they are all well.....3000 miles away and THERE ARE ADVANTAGES to that. Enough said.
Still feeling pretty good about the holiday in general and am glad H is here. Hope yours gets better soon, see my other post to you.
You know BND, if OUR children/sons/daughters EVER do crap like this, I just know we will speak up to them and definitely speak/reach out to the LBSer and especially our grandchildren. This boggles my mind. But sometimes in my worst moods, I get satisfaction from knowing that she is missing out on their lives and that it is her loss and even though I know, cognitively, that is selfish and only true to a certain extent, I still find myself being consoled by it. Just shows we all have our dark sides.....And if you read my other post to you MrsH, you'll read about the Christmas when we all had terrible food poisoning but had to travel to mil's in a rush, flying and driving b/c God forbid we spend more time with my family (34 cousins in my family for kids to play with, versus 0 in H's, just senior citizens who don't speak English and are bitter....FUN!!)...anyhow, mil did NOT notice us puking b/c she was too busy being pissed off at us for being late--plane was delayed an hour, so we spent time being critisized and literally had to go puke somemore, while she got all wound up again. Eventually even H had enough. But ahhhhh, the memories....come to think of it, we haven't spent many Christmas days with her since, actually....well, that's good.
God bless, and again, WHEN will H come home for good? j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
~PH 
