I think I see a little light at the end of the tunnel. W seems to be thinking and acting a little more like her old self. However, fear of relapse keeps me from getting to excited. But it's nice to see a positive turn. Some days I wonder if I'm DBing well, or just too afraid to act. Perhaps too good at "as if". Might look for another 180, or something. Just trying to get/stay with the program.
Good to hear that there are positive signs. I hope this trend continues, and there is no relapse.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I'm enjoying the fact that some times I do get smiles and thank yous. But like anyone who has been through this before I am a little leary of what is really happening. However I am focusing on enjoying life, to not let her bring me down. Let's see where this goes.
Baby step forward. I am taking a this is what I need to grow approach and taking more focus off of her issues. This way I feel I am making those issues less of the equation.
Best way to go, Phoenix! They are her issues to work on, not yours, so it's good to back off a bit. Goes to show, there is always something we need to work on, even when we think we're at a standstill, or in limbo, or whatever, 'eh!
I have noticed that I no longer react to when my H gets angry or irritated. The other day, he got all frustrated with his computer, and was stomping around, and muttering under his breath. I just said, "oh, that's too bad ... mine does that too sometimes, so I know how you feel", and left it at that. He soon calmed down. In the past, I would've allowed myself to get upset, and it would probably have ended up in a fight. Very proud of myself (she says, blowing on folded finger nails, hehe).
Take care!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Yep, the old Phoenix has been low on the radar these days. Somewhat because I have been very busy, some times just a matter of not knowing much of what to say or do. It's tough to try to help someone else when you feel like you are not on much better ground. Some days I can see what I should be doing and can be excited about life, others it's a matter of feeling like "hey, she can keep all this crap", but that goes away pretty fast.
It's kind of struck me funny the other night, too often in our sitch, especially in the beginning, W wanted to play things off as, " I don't like what you are, what you do and I don't even much want to acknowledge your presence". So I was sitting there watching a show, she can through once or twice, then when a scene came on she really liked she stopped, sat down and really got into it. At the end she stopped and looked over at me, like you do when you want to see that a person who is close to you (or good friend) experienced something the same way you did. I smiled back and with all my might I fought off the urge to say, "If we are so "disconnected", why do you care what I think or feel about what we just saw"? So I just sat there and acted as if. The more I watch W I know that it's MLC. But I know I won't be able to solve it for her, nor does she want me too. So I smile and just go along for the ride.
Love "as if", the phrase of the day, month.....
Lately I have fallen into a real bad need to fall into an old habit. Usually once a month I would buy my W flowers. Needless to say, it has been a while. I'm not even sure if it would be received well. So DB girls, put in your votes. I was always one who believed that a hard working Mom and W deserved flowers, especially after a tough week. This was my way of saying I appreciate her, love her and want her to know how important she was to me.
Anyhow the lines are now open vote now and vote often.
Quote: hard working Mom and W deserved flowers, especially after a tough week
ME ME ME, especially this week. Ugh.
My first thought is that if you're unsure if it would be received well, that is your answer. But (and there's always a but) you could sure try it as a 180, or buy a big bouquet just because it is December 1. Which, BTW, is Pie Day. How about making her favorite pie?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Might look for another 180, or something. Just trying to get/stay with the program. 
