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Welcome to my new thread. Since the old one is now locked, here we go on a new chapter in this saga. W has still got her heals dug in I think, as miss right. (If I say it's so, it is and you better just realize it). One thing that this whole experience has taught me is "co-workers don't have to live with the mess they help W gets herself into". And of course when the day is over they go home to their own mess.

It has been real difficult for me to not let the cat out of the bag to my ILs. My FIL introduces me as "SIL & best helper". Most of their neighbors know me more than W. So I guess I'm trying to figure out when W will finally get some humility and really try. But I guess that's what were all trying to figure out here.

Last night I had to go to sleep with my tongue stapled down. W made a comment that just screamed for a WTF type of answer. I was speechless, however she came so close to both barrels. If I would have bit on that one, it would have been good for at least 1 hr of "debate". So since I didn't want to show up exhausted for work, I just let it slide.

Well next weekend I have plans. Road trip and GAL. Can H give W coal in their stockings for a birthday present. I think as long as I'm not yelling HO, HO, HO and not trying to stuff the bird, that should be OK. I need input here. I'm sure it should confuse the heck out of children. I know if it was our anniversary that would probably be the only rock she would get.

But seriously, obviously I do love her or I wouldn't be here. Maybe it's time to start the next book from Michele, SSM. Don't worry, I won't give it as her birthday present, I'm not about to try to explain that one to IL. Well I guess it wouldn't be me, it would be her.

Goals for the week, more GAL. Refocus on own needs and issues. Provide best F for kids as possible. Pray for change.

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Hey Phoenix,

I've always looked at each new thread as a time for a positive change to happen. I guess I'm really looking for it when I start a new thread and it seems like it has always come true.

So here's to the positive changes that inevitably happen when we start a new thread.

Xue

BTW - Mines about to lock too.


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I hope it didn't hurt too much, but it's probably good you used the old Swingline to keep your tongue down. You know, sort of like the 'pick your fights' rule. You got thru it without saying anything, are you better off today?
Quote:

obviously I do love her


Does she know that? How does she know that? How are you showing it?

Great goals! can I borrow them?

Stay tuned for anniversary update from me, I used a little of your mischievious attitude...not sure how it will turn out yet...


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Quote:

co-workers don't have to live with the mess they help W gets herself into



you hit a sore spot there, most of the stupid desicions H made (gettign a L, get an appt., hook up w/slut) were fully supported by them.

Quote:

Can H give W coal in their stockings for a birthday present



Lord knows my H deserved that, I still got him something, not what I would've gotten when things were OK, but I still did something. If your heart isn't on it, just take her out to dinner alone or as a family to at least acknowledge her Bday.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

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Thanks all, for your input. Luckily the staples held and I didn't voice anything hurtfull or sarcastic. I've noticed that W's day to day attitude after work can swing dramatically. This is why I feel that perhaps a lot of our problems originate from some of her co-workers. A large percentage of them have lives that involve D, 2nd & 3rd marriages, custody etc...but they paint a good picture of how they are happier but battle all these problems and issues in their lives. Go figure! Especially after reading DR and DB it is amazing how I can pretty much predict attitudes and histories for these people.

Case in point of the theory, you are who you chose to associate with and emulate. If I had a choice I would get a second job and have my wife come home and quit her job, breaking the cycle. Unfortunately there are only so many hours in a day.

Thank you all for your support. WCW I look forward to a steamy report. Cat03 and Xuesheng, I'll keep my eye on my goals and methods today, let's see where this takes me.

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I need some of those fantastic staples Phoenix, you are amazing by keeping your mouth shut when you are yearning to talk back to W, *sigh* I wish to get to that level of the game soon, Im still beating my H w/a stick while crying out "love me! love me!"

I SO told my H the same thing, you are who you hang out with (my H also had all this D people and others w/dubious histories of sleeping and drinking around)

We can only hope our Ss remember they aren't in high school anymore and don't have to follow the crowd or "fit in"


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

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Because of much moving growing up, W has always tried to fit in or get approval, even now. With her current work sitch, she now has a group to try to get approval from. But like you pointed out, she might want to look a little closer to what she is trying to emulate. It takes a long time for a lot of people to realize that the party and sleep around crowd generally are not much to look up to or at when it is all said and done. I guess it takes the thicker ones a little longer to figure it out.

I was smart enough to walk away from it early, however the people who convinced me too didn't do so well. A few of them are dead, in prison, but none are really inspiring others to follow their life. Even my musician friends are very diciplined and poised. They even know every positive move has to be planned and executed. (And they are suppose to be the party animal image).

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I hope in time your W sees this, my H too learned a few lessons. One time he did say how he couldnt' see how people would just fill their lives with drunken binges and that that was the core of their being, he had tried that, drink himself stupid only to get horribly sick later, realized it was pointless.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

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Hi Phoenix! How are the plans coming along for your road trip? Or, have you left already?

Thinking of you!


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
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Trip was great. It was good to be back in old area again. The trip kind of got drug out, but I enjoyed the company and being away from the sitch. What this outing did remind me of was better times, earlier in the R/M.

I could really go for some answers right now, a very positive move. Can you tell me if there is a DB fairy. Find me a fairy!

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