Can you top this?

[ElizabethJ]

These are doing me so much good!!

I saw an early email from OW to my H, just after I'd found out about them, asking "I know it's a long shot, but do you think your wife would turn a blind eye to us if we were discreet and didn't rub her nose in it? Then you could stay at home with her until your daughter leaves home" - DD is 8 years old...

[whatisis]

Here's one! After an hour of yelling, screaming and tossing the f word around liberally (by both of us)in re: to her A, my W calmly concludes "You know, I really think you and I can still live together" I won't repeat my response!

[MTHeart]

ok, I'm putting this one out there for a vote:
We had trouble redeeming some gift certificates. The company didn't want to honor them. Spouse, who is in month 5 of PA, says: "I guess some people just have no morals"
The big clunk you heard was my jaw hitting the ground.

Tag, you guys are it. I still need a good laugh and these "aliens have stolen my brain" comments make me laugh and feel less alone. Ever want to just slap them and say "I'm working my a$$ off here for your child, how about helping me out by taking some personal responsibility?!?!?" oh well, as you said: good furniture is to be seen and not heard. Sincerely, the coffee table

[believing_isaiah43]

Sincerely, the coffee table

OMGosh, that made me laugh out loud

[MTHeart]

glad to bring some laughter to your day. If you think that's good you should hear what the bed has to say!

No laughing here, she is off to spend the night with OW. This sucks. Do I dare ask how long she thinks this can go on?
Sincerely, your friend the footstool

[whatisis]

How's this one. W tells me our M is over then proceeds to cry on my shoulder saying "everyone is going to blame me for this" (Ya think?). My response was "You're coming to the wrong guy if you're looking for sympathy, sweetie"
She's just torn my world apart and she's looking to me for a pat on the back and an "Oh, you poor thing". How weird is that.
I got one more from a friend. When his W dumped him, in complete shock he said to her "I've just lost my whole world" His W replies "that's OK, you'll find another one". The eternal optimist, that lady!

[faded]

How bout this:

Me: "look, I need to know. Are you a lesbian?"
Her: "If I am, you made me one."

I must really be influential. I can actually change someones sexual orientation. Maybe there's a business model for this?

faded

[whatisis]

That's a beauty, Faded. You must be one powerful, dude! Can you change my W back now?

[MTHeart]

I had no idea you were so powerful? Wow! Must be great for the ego, huh? Seriously I'm sorry anyone in their own state of "questioning/crisis/uncertainty" about sexuality would say something so hurtful. Once again I feel I must apologize for "my people"

Got a new one last night: "I guess you found out I'm not perfect". My response: yes, dear, I above all others have figured that out by now. (six months into a PA, yeah, I got it!)

[SRTogacihC]

Here is my addition from this morning:

W made an analogy that OM is like a drug…it makes her feel good to be around him. She told me this morning if we work on our marriage I can replace him filling those needs and be her new drug. Does not exactly sound healthy to me…”Drugs are bad mmm-kay”.