Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
Sorry you're feeling blue. Maybe this little story will help to cheer you up:
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”
The wife is furious. She yells at him, “Is that all you’re going to do? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, I ought to get a divorce…”
Andy, this is the first time I've gotten around to reading your new thread here on this forum. WOW! It's great. It has taken on a life of it's own, but it's still very much your thread as well.
Sometimes you run into a thread that you just want to print off and keep forever. This is one of those threads. Congratulations, friend! The whiney "I don't want to do what I know I have to do" threads are a turn-off to me. But this one is crammed with great info, info all of us can take to heart and use in our own situations.
Don't get me wrong. We have all been in that "I don't want to do what I know I have to do" situation. It's just that I've moved ahead and need more info like your thread contains.
Good luck, Andy. Hope you get things today worked out!
Sorry to disappoint you Jen, but I’m about to embark on a “whiney ‘I don't want to do what I know I have to do’ post.
Like I posted earlier, I’m having a bad day. It started yesterday when I found out that the travelling project that I was hyperventilating over in September (see Andy's Story (Page 2)) has come back. I was to find out more today.
Last night, I was in the car when I heard a song on the radio that was often playing during my depression. It’s really weird, but the sickly feeling came back to my stomach. Seems like everything is conspiring against me!
Don’t worry, my depression is not coming back, but it’s a horrible feeling anyway.
So, last night, I approach W with amorous intentions. She said she was too tired – which I expected. We joked about how dead she felt, and some necrophilia jokes. What I didn’t expect was that she changed her mind. Great you say? Well it was horrible! She really was too tired to enjoy it, and it showed.
This morning, I asked her if there was anything I could do to help. She told me not to worry, it’s not always like that. At least that allayed one of my greatest fears. She seemed sincere.
She’s also been looking at buying a motorcycle. This was ostensibly for me (I don’t even have a license), but it looks more and more that it’s for her, so she can go riding with MF. UGHHHHHHHHH!
We talked about the travelling prospects. She said she wasn’t trying to push me out the door, but she worries about me losing my job. I’m sure glad she doesn’t know how close I came a few short months ago!
I went to see my boss about the project. She knows all about my depression, and my aversion to travelling. She’s always been very supportive. In fact, she’s the reason I still have my job. But she can only protect me for so long. I have no choice but to take this assignment.
Everything I hear about this assignment is that it’s the project from hell. It’s high pressure, The working language is French, and it’s being totally mismanaged. At the same time, except for weekends, I’ll not be with my family, nor will I be able to do my karate.
This post has been nothing more than a vent. Please don’t bother with any advice, there’s nothing I can do at this point except to ride it out.
I hate traveling at all right now too, Andy. But my travel is by car and is only 3 hours away from home, and usually for only 1 1/2 days. I hear what you're saying. Wish I could help.
I've had very bad experiences in the past. Travelling thru O'Hare. Brrrrrrrrrr. At least this travel is within Canada. In fact it's quite a short flight.
I don't know how many days per week I'll have to go. I'm hoping for a 4 day work week, but suspect it'll be 5. I also don't know how long the engagement will be.
It's this kind of uncertainty that sent me spinning into depression before. But, like I said, the flights will be more reliable and shorter.
Ironic. W complained that I was controlling. I now have no control over my life.
To add insult to injury, I'll probably be going the week after next. And W intends going to a baptism, thus leaving me alone with the kids before I go.
The way I see it - the last time you traveled, you got depressed, right? Things started spiraling then. Now you are in a different place and it has taken a lot for you emotionally to get there..in regards to your kid(s), your wife and her turn in behavior, and yourself, in combating the depression and learning to be more loving, more understanding, more of a friend to yourself and your wife. Give yourself a pat. A huge pat!!!
Now, you have to travel again. It echoes of the past, but now you are in a place where you have learned a tremendous amount about life and love. This is a test Andy. Don't get bummed...this is here for a reason. I know you will be away from your family and I know things are not rock solid with your wife yet, but maybe, just maybe how you and her handle this hurdle will help even more with the two of you. This will happen again.. albeit this is bad timing, but I think you will be fine and you will be able to put even more of what you have learned into play.
