Ya know one thing I have noticed lately is her underwear have reappeared. I help with the laundry sometimes and for many months I've noticed her undrgarments have been absent. I've been really wondering if she's been goin commando all this time or what.
But alas they have reappeared and wholeheartedly. I was folding them last night with her.
I've also noticed that she now where's a tank top with no bra when hanging out with me. Used to cover up completely.
Just before the bomb the thing that I noticed most was that she stopped dressing in front of me. She would hide in the closet to change. Even when we had sex she would leave her t-shirt on.
I believe there is scientific evidence that when men are deprived of seeing women's breasts on a regular basis that there are certain health risks involved
Quote: I believe there is scientific evidence that when men are deprived of seeing women's breasts on a regular basis that there are certain health risks involved
Maybe I'll be healthy again soon
You and me both. lol
TD
TwinDragon Thread #11-Dragon, flying - evaluating his world.
I do think your so right and that really keeps me going. I can't remember where I read it but a few days ago I read a statistic that said around 10% of married couples reach a state of true intimacy and marital bliss. Truly sad.
This process seems to be universal. Although most aren't talking I think that most everyone goes through it in some way. It wold definetely appear as if we are trying to be taught something. Relationships are where I was lacking in intelligence the most but I'm still intending on getting this right the first time.
You seem to be doig quite well. Hand holding, wow, that's big. It's amazing now how hand holding seems to be such a crazy big thing. Almost bigger than sex. Things have certainly turned around.
Monday she was very happy to see me. We went to breakfast to spend time together.
Mornings now I always ask her if she wants to come have coffee with me and it is always a resounding yes. We always spend very quality time on the couch having coffee. We had gotten away from this for a bit. Probably partly from being stressed and busy. It's one thing that really seems to make a big difference. Whether the day goes well because of it or it's an indicator I don't know. But regardless.
Yesterday when she was running errands she called me several times for stuff that didn't warrant a phone call.
I've have been holding back immensely. I don't hardly kiss her unless she comes to me. Yesterday she was on her way out and I didn't budge. She seemed to maneuver for a kiss. Might be my imagination but it's happened several times.
This morning she left for Vegas. Taking a little one night vacation with a friend (Sox you around, wanna check up on her for me? Just kidding) I made sure it was no big deal. She came to me a couple times for a kiss goodbye. I made sure I didn't go to her. There seemed to be surprise in her voice. She thanked me several times for arranging the day off and she seemed a little surprised when she said it. I'm sure she expected me to be a bit needy and I wasn't and haven't been. Between that, a little more gal, and a little time apart I think we're certainly on the right track.
I've mostly stopped wondering when our "big night" is gonna be and this has helped a lot. This thought process continually reminds me of the four noble truths. DB'ing itself reminds me of the four noble truths. So I'm kinda at number 3. Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases.
well Xue all I can say is when you truly GAL and do things even little things there is a definite shift in the dynamics Good on you for going ski-ing with your friend now you are truly on the beginning of the GAL path - well done
Yes, there have been lot's of little things I've noticed lately.
She called me up from Vegas and said "I'm going to win some money for US" with a whole lot of emphasis on the word us.
The word "I" was really strong in her vocabulary. I hated it the way she said it. "I'm going to be financially independent" etc. It was never "our business"
So last night she was talking and the I slipped back in, then she immediatly corrected herself and said "oh when I say I I mean we" and then got a little flustered with her explanation. So not totally there yet but obviously closer.
We've talked a lot about things in the past that were terrible but have become very strong life lessons. We talk a lot.
I found one of the Gottman books buried deep in her desk. I swear I wasn't snooping. I was happy about that.
A few days ago she was very negative about her own negativity and flying off the handle. Said she'd need a lot of therapy for it. Now she has accepted it as just something she needs to work on and doesn't feel guilty about it.
We do not try to prove each other wrong anymore.
And best of all. The "bad people" are after us again. (Damn that sounds paranoid) I was pretty upset about it. I told her when she got back from Vegas and she did not react. She didn't care much. The next day when I was still upset she said "your not upset about them, your upset because you were freaked out about what my reaction would be"
Yes it seems we have made some personal growth strides and a lot of them.
Yesterday was very good also. We spent the whole day talking. Long coffee in the morning followed by a long breakfast out and finally a movie and fourth of July fireworks (not the kind I'm hopig for)
We discussed a lot about the events in our life and how so many times we have been brought to the brink of disaster and then pulled out. It seems to be the norm for us. Like some higher being is creating these situations where we learn the se incredible life lessons but we recover before the true disaster hits. We suffer the emotions, we learn, but we don't have to pay as dearly as is very possible. W and I have a saying we've been through this so much "We'll make it, we always do" We've been so close to disaster so many times and pulled out that we have a lot of faith in this.
Monday I successfully solved some serious business problems. Things had built up badly and with the influence of a few people that want to do us harm, things were worse than I knew. Using BJ's advice I was able to clear the air and fix things. Quite amazing and wonderful. Really something else how the lessons I've learned here have transferred over into the rest of my dealings with people.
We saw a movie last night and it was terrible. "The break up". She picked it and it was suppossed to be a funny movie. It was a depiction of how most relationships go when things go bad and mistakes are made that are seemingly irreversible. We expected the happy ending but the couple split and neither of them really wanted to. It brought up all the old emotions and showed the typical male and female reactions and how they conflict. Even the sound quality and videography was poor in this movie. It put me in a really bad mood and that still lingers today. Trying to snap out of it.
I think we both kinda expected that it would be something that we were at a point that laughing at it would be good. That we had come through it and were ready for that. Not true.
Well the good thing is that we both hated it and we both said we wanted to leave but kept expecting it to get better.
Yesterday at lunch my eyes wandered off to a very attractive but very trampy looking woman standing nearby. W snapped "Don't look at her". I brought my attention back. It's been a really long time and I guess that is starting to show.
Well yes things have continued to progress in a positive manner. I always think, "well this is pretty good" and then another issue tends to come up and get resolved. Physically there is still a push pull going on. I guess what happens is I pull away and then maybe see some results and then rubber band back and back and forth we go.
