Thanks for the title change and for the acknowledgement. I've known for a long time I needed to get to this state but couldn't seem to make it. Yes, so true, at least it is my couch.
I'm trying to change my thinking entirely. I used to spend every single moment thinking about a solution to something. Business, marriage, etc. Now I'm trying not to. I used to value my time jogging because I could think more clearly and come up with solutions. However now I am trying to just enjoy the jog. Trying to develop both sides of me I guess. This is new for me and feels good.
Faraway, good to hear from you. I used to follow your thread a lot but haven't been around much. Hope all is well for you. Yes I to hope to be a success story soon. But I'll still come around here. This is such a great place.
Your right, there are behaviour changes. I don't react or stress on things. There are subtle differences already that I can't even pinpoint, they just feel different.
Tonight she headed up the hill but it's no problem. She has a presentation tommorrow night and had to go up to get some nice clothes to wear. She was sure to let me know the reason for going up. Hopefully she'll bring down the rest of her stuff or at least a chunk of it. The reason I bring it up is strangely again I knew this morning that she was going to leave for there tonight. I just can't figure out how I always know. In the past I would say it was that her attitude was different or something and I could tell she needed space. But today her attitude was just fine. We had a pretty good day. Had a good time with each other. We kiss pretty regularly now, she stands closer to me when we talk. Lot's of good stuff in her body language. But there has to be something I am picking up on for me to know when she's going to head up there. Just can't figure out what. Hmmm maybe I'm just psychic.
Anyway, like I said, things are good. I've also noticed changes in her opinions on others with r problems. Before her attitude was if the R is bad get out. A mentality she got from her C. Now when we talk about someone else having an R problem her attitude is "well that's just part of R's get over it". This is good.
Things seem to be progressing quite nicely and steadily for you....the waves are creeping closer...and you sound as if you're in a very solid place...awesome
Creeping is definetely the right choice of words. But it's moving although it's so slow it's hard to detect.
Positives: When I go to kiss her she consistently kisses back on the lips with her lips relaxed. This used to be an on again off again thing. She would turn her head half the time. Now if I reach for her she comes to me with a kiss.
We spend a great deal of quality time together.
Her opinion on M in general seems to have shifted towards the positive. She used to be very "women's lib" women don't need men kinda attitude. I was actually getting worried she would decide to switch her sexuality.
She touches me endearingly and occassionally calls me honey when we are at social events.
I call her honey most of the time now and she responds well to it.
Last night she was planning on staying up the hill because the event she was at was near there but she changed her mind and came back.
Aaaah that helped, I should write down positives more often.
Despite all this it is still frustrating as hell. I woke up last night and heard her trying to get comfortable on the couch. Invited her over and got turned down of course. I didn't react well, it made me mad. Didn't show it of course but the frustration gets to me occassionally. Perhaps even more now when everything else seems positive.
Today I realized I need to get on the 180 bandwagon again and the GAL. I'm going to help film a show at the local cable access channel tonight. That'll get me out. I'm thinking about starting to wear cologne and maybe getting a little bit vain in my personal hygene area. That would be a good 180 I think. Any suggestions on a good cologne since I never wear it.
Think I'll start lifting weights too. Been jogging consistently and I like that.
I would recommend black suede by avon. Always gets me when my H wears it!!
Me 43 H 44 S-13 D-9 Separated 90 days 6/28/05 H Says he is done-10/2/06-day after 18th anniv Moved out 10/2/07-to father's house-day after 19th wedding anniv-GF now H Filed for D 7/08
Forest:Trees - go back and read a thread from 6 months ago. Where were you then? Where are you now? Perspective helps gauge progress
Cologne - couple "hot" ones now are Marc Jacobs and Dolce and Gabana for Men. I got some Sean Paul which I like - but doesn't last long. Do you have a female friend/colleague (Not w!) who's opinion you're willing to take and is willing to be your coconspirator? If so, take her with you and try on a few different types.
BTW - it's a great test for "confidence" - easy place to get squeamish and wussy for some reason - no way! Stride in there like you own the damn place and turn up your nose on anything that doesn't meet *your* criteria - this is a gift for you and will reflect how you feel about yourself - strong, confident, masculine....act like you deserve to wear it....
6 months ago? Hell I was a slobbering fool. I don't want to read that drivel. Point well taken though :-)
Yeah your right, guess I'm gonna hafta go buy it at the most lavish sissiest counter I can find now. Thanks a lot TJ, I was just gonna order it online, now I gotta make the drive to town and act all manly :-) You just cost me a two hour drive.
personally I love Joop for men and Safari for men by Ralph Lauren
actually I like Joop so much I bought it for myself and wear it when I go out
so next time she is moving around trying to get comfortable try the humour appoach when she says no just laugh and roll over and when she asks why just say well if you want to stay on there and be uncomfortable then I guess its not my problem after all I am super comfortable and warm here and then purr like a big cat at the very least she should laugh and chuck a pillow at you (or a shoe)
I think you need to inject a little humour into the whole thing possibly even respond with a thank god for that I really don't want to share this big soft warm bed with you but was just being polite and then laugh and go back to sleep
it is good to come on here and see you doing well focus on you and you will feel even better about you and she will feel great around you
