BJ, I thought about one of those funny beard things but I wanted to make it clear that I shaved it off for myself and noone else. I used the reasoning that it was getting hot and uncomfortable when I was working out. We've had our first few hot days here. For me is very important.
Yeah I was wearing a tank top that day. My wife hates them so I don't wear them. But lately things have been more for me, so there. I have pretty huge shoulders.
Today started off a little rough. She hadn't slept well because of her allergies and she was moody because of her birthday. I teased her a little but was overall sympathetic. I did recognize that I still am affected by her moods.
We went to our appointment with our holistic health practitioner who talked to us a lot about the stress in our life and how it's obvious in our bodies.
When we got back the flowers I had ordered had been delivered. She immediatly softened up. I was worried about the roses affecting her allergies and told her so. She said it didn't matter because it was the thought anyway. She left them out in the lobby for all to see. Of course there were many comments. People said, well it's her birthday, anniversary or he just made her mad and is making up. She replied that it was ridiculous to even think that I could ever make her mad, I was the perfect husband. Made a point of telling them so.
So here's where I got really lucky. The girl that works for me went in and cleaned the kitchen. I had asked her to do it once before and she took it upon herself to do it today. W mentioned how nice it was that I had her clean the kitchen for her birthday. I said, "oh honey your so overworked I just hired her to clean the kitchen every day for the whole year. You've got so much more important things to do".
I was so stressed on what to get her that meant something and it freakin fell in my lap. I'm definetely reapin some good karma today.
So later she's joking around with someone else. The joke of the day had been her grey hair. She says "D would never notice my grey hair. She loves me unconditionally" And then looks at me as if she's waiting for a response. Of course you know my response. So I haven't told her ILY since I read DB 11/1/05 and she tricks me into saying it in front of others today. Clever girl.
I am so glad that it turned out well for you just when I needed to hear a bit of good news that was awesome I think doing things/wearing clothes you like for yourself is a good thing kind of like ascerting your alpha dog status
and what a great idea (falling into your lap like that) amazing - good kharma is certainly with you now can you send a bit this way I am about an hour south of Sydney just to help you with the directional stuff
won't be on here for a few days going to Canberra with friends and being silly (no one knows me so it don't matter)
good luck you are doing so awesome I am really impressed
Yes things seem to be going exceptionally well. Still not at the goal yet but it seems to be all positive.
Allergies are wiping her out. She's had a rough time of it. So I'll have to wait until the allergy season is over before we see the kind of progress I want.
I hope everything is well with you. I'll go stop by your thread. I'm always thinking of you but I'll send more love your way.
Hey I never realized you changed my thread title BJ, you can always lift my spirits. Which brings me to a thought. I read something on the back of a Starbucks cup about a week ago that hit me hard. It was a quote from a book called "Rules of the red rubber ball" which I've got to get. Anyway it was about creative people like myself and how they need people in their life to sustain them. To always encourage them and push them. I realized very deeply that this is what I want my wife to be. I was maybe a bit mad for her not being that. But then I realized how self righteous I was being and that if I look around maybe she is very supporting. I just don't always see it.
So the weekend was great. I was running hard. Had a big entry in a parade and won the grand cup. That night I also cooked for a big benefit we hosted. It was good.
It was a good night for our R too. She called me honey twice that night. I was very happy. We touched more and I even had my arm around her while we sat and watched the band. She constantly sought me out. she constantly bragged on me. We had a great time. She even dragged me out on the dance floor for a while as exhausted as we were.
Sunday we just layed low. Totally exhausted. Sunday night I was maybe trying a little bit to get affectionate with her. But my advances were rejected. Probably not the best timing. We were exhausted but I was of course elated with the previous nights progress. I offered her a foot massage when she said her feet hurt but she said no.
Today she's a bit grumpy, didn't get enough sleep. We're in a very busy time right now with lots going on. So I should expect this.
Looks like I'm probably going to go to Mexico next week. We were trying to go together and I really want to go together. My Dad's down there and wants us to come down. But it's nearly impossible for us both to go. she told me the other day that she made arrangements for me to go. I'd sure like to ML to her before going.
She says her and D will run the business while I'm gone and I get the feeling she wants to prove she can.
Things are going really well but I still get very anxious.
Looks like I'm going to get a vacation. Going to Mexico to see my dad. Haven't really seen much of him in many years and it will be good to reconnect. I was hoping that this would be a vacation with my W but doesn't look like it. Just can't get the work schedule to work out for both of us to go. I'm looking at this as a real good thing though. A little time apart should help.
W and her mother scheduled it this morning for me. Her Mother is way on my side in this stuff so I like her input. I sure would like a little intimacy with her before I go though.
Really glad to hear from you. Hope all is great with you.
Yes I certainly do remember that conversation. I remember it all the time. We're together all the time. It's a great thing that we get along so well and want to be together all the time but I know it's not healthy.
W said once that marriage was designed back in the day when men were gone for months at a time. Although I don't totally agree with that I certainly do see the point. I definetely need to make myself a little more scarce and it would be good for me too.
I realize the low level of anxiety I always have around her. It just my own vigilance and fear of rejection but it's there. It's been there for nearly two years. I also realize that it is very hard for me to be happy with that there. This getting away will be good for me in that respect. I discovered it when she was trapped in the snow for a few days. I didn't have to worry about things. So strangely, at the present time I am happier without her being around although I love being with her. I realize that this is mostly my own issue and something for me to work on but the break from it will do wonders for me I'm sure.
Things have been really good between us. There just seems to be no reason for her sleeping on the couch. But my T said once that this really is probably going to be just an issue of my patience. I understand that now. W just really needed and maybe still needs the time to find herself and get through this crisis.
I also realize how badly the bad people coming around affects her. They have been pulling their tricks lately and we really refrain from retaliating in any way. But it affects both of us not to. We so badly want to to something back (and can( but we don't. We just really know it is not the thing to do. It creates a lot of stress in our lives.
A number of people have noted that it's a real good thing that I'm taking some time off. My stress must show through.
Thanks for checking in. It's amazing that the only person I talk to about this is on the opposite side of the world. I tell noone here. That's a little hard but I know there is no benefit in telling anyone here. As a matter of fact I think if I had things wouldn't be this good.
Have a great week if I don't talk to you. I'm leaving Tuesday and won't be back til the following week.
Xue, As always, you are doing well. I ahven't been keeping up with your thread. Sorry. My life is in the whole opposite realm than yours. I am so glad I have Kempo in my life. It has been the one real constant through these hard times. I can go and practice and forget everything else. All that matters is the form or technique. I can live the art and nothing else matters for a time. I am testing for a new belt next month. My instructor has been pushing me harder and harder, he knows I need the discipline right now. He even has paired me up with a Second Degree Balck Belt a few times so I can go full force without worries of injuring the other person. Also, he knows it is good training for both the Black Belt and myself.
I am glad to hear you are still doing good.
TD
TwinDragon Thread #11-Dragon, flying - evaluating his world.
Wow what a trip. More experiences than I could have imagined including one terrible one, Montezuma's revenge, yuck. Sickest I've ever felt.
Got back late last night. W and I sat up and talked until 2am. Went to lunch and talked most of today also.
I'm in a better place. The anxieties I had are gone and I'm feeling good.
Ready for a new phase.
W now seems very committed. Having a great day together today. She still slept on the couch last night but it doesn't bother me. Somehow I know this is where I need to be to move forward.
I have goals but am not obsessing over them anymore. A completely new mentality has come on. I think before I would kinda do things to better the relationship and then test to see where we were. Always looking to do just enough to find out where the fixing point was. Now I'll just continually better the relationship and not worry about it. This is my new strategy in my R and in my business.
Don't know if this makes sense but it makes sense to me.
