IS MY MARRIAGE WORTH SAVING???

[hurtingagain]

too bad we're not back in the days, they'd get stoned (oh my H does that, smoke) or hung...... oh no, they graveyards would be getting full from just this website....[pollstop]

[hurtingagain]

I just got off the phone with a friend. I guess everyone is tired of hearing it from me. I was saying I couldn't believe H took D16 with him. She said, it's just shows you he's moved on.

I guess this shows our society. We are bombarded with immoral living everyday and it's not big deal. So what if my H takes my D on vacation with OW.

[grasshopper]

I guess this shows our society. We are bombarded with immoral living everyday and it's not big deal. So what if my H takes my D on vacation with OW.

I hope you don't think that's what WE are saying. Nobody here is tired of hearing you. The bottom line is that you need to accept the situation and then decide what YOU want to do about it.

RE: Your friend. I think most people would not understand you talking about his at all. They probably think you are foolish for having any thought other than to D and move on. Thats why they are often less help than hurt.

GH

[hurtingagain]

NO, It's great to be able to vent with people who can truly understand.

I met with a 2nd attorney today, but wasn't impressed, so my search goes on. I guess I'm trying to decide how to play my hand. If you've read my prev post, you'll know about my H and D16 addiction. D will be 17 in July. Do I try to put the brakes on bringing up the past or just move forward to get D over. Since D will be 18 in less than 13 mos.

1st atty said I can have setup for H to be drug tested in order to have her stay with him. He's wanting 50/50 custody so he doesn't pay me support. I feel like the addiction is a loosing battle!!!



I met a friend tonight to walk and do an exercise class. Boy, am I sore. I feel so much better when I get my exercise in. Trying to get back into GAL and set some goals. Back to work tomorrow.

Good night....

[hurtingagain]

I had trouble falling asleep last night. I've started reading a book, "Healing the Shame that Binds You". Wow, it is right on for so much. My H dad died when H was 3. MIL said he was a womanizer tho she didn't catch him. His grandfather was the worst womanizer. Book talks about stuff cycling thru the generations of families.

Whenever Max felt insecure, anxious or needy, the inner event registered as sexual desire. Max turned continueously to sex to meet needs that sex cannot provide.

I can see this relating to my H. His business has struggled for the past 6 yrs and he is HIS ACHIEVEMENT. He's failed as a father with D16 in rehab and showing his addiction passed to her. Down deep he may feel guilt and lack of self-worth, though he consciensly doesn't know that. He NEVER talked about feelings, show much affection without sex. I believe down deep he's really in PAIN and trying to run from it. Too bad it still hurts, even when we know it's really about them!!

I woke up thinking how my D16 must feel seeing her dad kissing, showing affection with this other woman. I'm sure he's smoking pot and drinking in front of D16. It's just so unhealthy!!! Though we think we're grown up at 16, she's still a little girl (especially all that she's been thru to keep her from developing to her age). They say that the drug abuse stunts them at the age they started and she was around 14, then her sexual abuse by foster brother when she was 5. I hate that I have no control over what H does with D16 or in front of her.