I have been reading the posts on here for a while. I usually post on newcomers, but since my D will be final in less than a month. I guess I am moving on...Don't really know if this is good or bad. It is a sad, sad time.
My sitch... Me 33 STBXH 34 D10 D8 -9 next week M 11 1/2 years Bomb about the A Dec. 6, 2005 Never saw it coming. Thought I had the perfect H and perfect M.
Six weeks after the bomb, H said you have to "let me go" which since we were living in employee housing, that meant I had to leave. So I pack the girls up and move home 2 1/2 hours away. After first weekend, H wanted girls. So we met halfway and he brings GF. I refuse to leave girls and H and Gf have fight. They break up. This was late Jan. Idon't know if they got back together because H blames me for breakup and will not speak with me. Told me that L told him to have no contact and to not seek counseling. So we do not speak. when we meet to drop off girls, he always brings a "witness" and never ever gets out of his truck. So we are NC since late Jan.
I just want to move on...I am looking for a new job. Have moved into my own house with my parents help. My family has really been wonderful. Involved in church. Exercise, involved in D support group. Daughter insoccer and we go out and do stuff.
Now, I just want to find someone to love and make our family, complete. I want to have more children. I know it is too early yet. But this is what I want. this is what is missing in my life. These are my goals.
Welcome Peace, I know we've chatted on other links. I'm sorry, the Irony of him not talking to you for having the audacity to break up his R, is that not messed up or what?
I suspect the L is telling him not to talk or see you alone to prevent any restraining orders/PPOs. I know it's really hard not to have that contact. Even if your moving on, most of us need to work through the process with our STBX. I'm in the same boat, STBX stopped any contact mid Feb. It was hard at first, now I know it's making the whole thing easier. Beside, would I really want to be with someone capable of treating me or anyone this way, no.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
Welcome Peace, I know we've chatted on other links. I'm sorry, the Irony of him not talking to you for having the audacity to break up his R, is that not messed up or what?
I suspect the L is telling him not to talk or see you alone to prevent any restraining orders/PPOs. I know it's really hard not to have that contact. Even if your moving on, most of us need to work through the process with our STBX. I'm in the same boat, STBX stopped any contact mid Feb. It was hard at first, now I know it's making the whole thing easier. Beside, would I really want to be with someone capable of treating me or anyone this way, no.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
I think he is making up the whole L story myself, just so that he doesn't have to feel guilty. But, yeah, love the irony of his breakup too. I was kind of proud of myself even though I was just taking up for my daughters. So, how does everyone else cope on here? When can we start dating again? I want some fun
There is chasing a new R, and then there is dating for the sake of dating. learning what it is that you like and don't like in others. Building your own confidence, so you don't fall head over heals for the 1st prospect that comes along. If you have moved to surviving the big D and really think you are ready to be here, it could be time.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
Alright! Dating time! except I thought you were supposed to wait awhile after the D. but then again, H didn't even wait to tell me there were problems in the M before he went out. So, dating time!
Peace, not in any way an expert on dating while or after divorcing, but would like to offer a few words that may assist. What you are going through is really, really hard...and lonely. You don't deserve it. It's good to keep up a social network for yourself whether it is family, friends or dating. Timing really depends on each person. For example, by the time I accepted divorce, I had done a lot of grieving and work on myself...and was ready to meet new people. I started on the internet, just like here, talking to people. I was scared, shy but excited and the net seemed like a good first step.
If you are ready to have a social life, it is a healthy idea for you. Don't let anyone make decisions or judge you...and I might suggest to choose carefully who to keep as your confidants because once the drama of divorce is over, you don't want well-intentioned people reminding you of things you want to forget.
Keep a ready smile. Divorce is tough but it is also a new beginning and a way to get on with your life. Go with what you feel and trust your instincts.
But I have trouble meeting people. I am in a Divorce Support group and involved in church activities and girls activities, but other than that I don't have time to go out and meet people. I have tried to on the internet, but I am naive when it comes to talking to peopleon the internet. Where do you go to find people to talk to? How do you talk to people on the internet?
men are everywhere. The next time that you see a man with no ring on his finger, just say hi. If he is interested and not too shy, he will take it from there. Here is a new goal for you this week. Say hi to five strangers, look them in the eyes and say hi. grocery store, home depot, kids events, etc...
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
