I wouldn't tell him about IC but I'd still be scared, anyway.
I did tell him about the gynae visit because I wanted him to watch DD4 and there's no one else who could have watched her. I suppose I could have taken her with me, but it's boring for a little kid.
I'd never tell him to bugger off, he'd turn nasty and I'd get a solicitor's letter, not worth it. I am taken aback when he starts questioning me and it seems kind of rude not to answer. Maybe I should just say 'I'm fine, I've got to go out now', or something?
Okay, I've never heard that abriviation. I've only heard it as V. There's about 200 of us in this support group and we all use different shortenings for the different vulval illnesses and half the time I don't know who is saying what, it's like speaking a different language
I am feeling happier today because I hung out with some friends this afternoon and it's amazing how much better I feel in human company.
I posted some book orders, took DD4 to toddler group and gave them a copy of my vaccination book. They have a library of child-related books that people can borrow, so I donated a copy. Then my friend Melanie asked me to sign it!
She was acting so impressed and said she wanted me to write a personal message in it. That did wonders for my ego.
I found out also that the poetry compilation comes out on April 30 - my birthday! (Literally Speaking, it's called, and is a different book to the Pregnancy through Poems one that I've just been accepted for), so that's really exciting.
Then I went shopping with my best friend, got some new boots and had a bit of a laugh. Now the shock's worn off about her pregnancy, I am not as sad about it (it's hard when you've lost babies, to deal with other people's pregnancies). She's so happy I can't help feeling happy for her too.
Then my new friend Jessica, who has VS, has been upset so I spent the rest of my afternoon trying to lift her spirits, which in fact lifted mine because I was helping her.
Andy Update: He apparently sent 2 text messages last night but I've cancelled my cell phone so that didn't work and he wanted to know why I didn't respond. I told him I'm not having a cell phone anymore.
He asked if I could have the girls tomorrow as he has to go to Lincoln to sort out his dad's house (would you believe, there are still things to tie up and he died last October). I said yes.
He said about taking them to the cinema to see the film Ice Age 2 (DD4 is nuts about Ice Age) and so I tentatively suggested in a week or two. Not sure about it, he said he'd check times etc. The plus point is, if he goes, he can pay for half the tickets - otherwise it gets well expensive for me. Not sure. I'll see? He seems to be easing up over the kids a little, but I'm not going to speak too soon.
I've got my own column in 'Mother' magazine!!!!!!!
I'VE GOT MY OWN COLUMN!!!!!!! YIPEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
(Jo shouts, currently jumping up and down on her chair).
The editor published my story of unassisted home birth with no meds and no midwife etc in 'Mother' magazine, which is just out now and then she found out about my new vaccination book so she emailed me to ask if I'd have a column in the magazine and write 4 feature articles a year (the magazine is quarterly so it'd be one article per issue).
I can't believe my luck. She just offered me the job, just like that. Normally I have to fight for freelance journalism jobs and apply loads and then maybe 1 out of 10 pieces of work will get accepted. Here, a job just falls into my lap...and a regular column! I can't believe it, I've never had a column!! (apart from in my own newsletter that I publish).
Wooo Hoooo!!!!!!!!
Okay, now I'm a bit calmer, here's my update:
Ex was clearing out the last of his dad's things (he died last October for those that don't know), so he asked me to have the girls.
They fought a bit more than last time ('I'm going to kick you in the vagina!' said DD2 to DD1), and various things like that.
But then we went into town with my friend and 2 of her sons so that relieved the arguing a bit. I did my business banking (couldn't not do it, I'm afraid) and then we went shopping to buy baking ingredients and things.
DD1 decided to buy me a mug for 99p with her pocket money. She bought me a yellow one and her father a blue one.
When we got home, I helped them learn French, then we baked this yummy chocolate gooey cake. DD1 and DD2 helped me with the actual cake and DD3 and DD4 helped make the topping.
I had to find a conversion chart on the internet as the recipe was in grams and I always cook in ounces so I had no idea, LOL.
In the evening their dad came back and we showed him the cake, then everybody ate a piece of it. It was delicious. They are going on a trip to Bolsover Castle soon so I told ex he could have the rest of the cake to take on this trip.
Ex said on Easter Monday he wanted to take the girls (including DD4 and myself) to see Ice Age 2. I said to him it probably wasn't on then. He said he thought it was.
Then they left, and DD4 went to bed.
Here's the recipe for the gooey chocolate cake if anyone wants it:
GOOEY CHOCOLATE CAKE RECIPE:
cake:
170g self-rising flour 170g butter 170g caster sugar teaspoon of baking soda 3 eggs 3 tablespoons of cocoa 4 tablespoons of water.
Mix everything up, stick it in a greased cake tin, cook at 160C or gas mark 3 for 40 minutes. Leave to cool.
Topping:
240g of icing sugar 100g of dark beligium chocolate 30g butter 3 tablespoons of water Flake (you have flake chocolate in the US, right?).
Melt chocolate, butter and water together, add in icing sugar and stir until it is a fairly thick chocolate sauce. Spread on top of cake, leave to cool and set, then get pieces of flake chocolate and decorate the top (DD3 and 4 loved doing this).
Hey presto, you have a really rich chocolate cake. Definitely do not eat it if trying to lose weight, LOL.
Anyway, that's my news. There is more but I'm too tired to write it tonight.
Don't think I've ever written to you, but have been reading your threads for a while. Your sitch is a tough one for sure and my heart goes out to you for all you've been through. I also give you a lot of credit for continuing to fight for your happiness, and for not giving up on making a connection with your girls.
I have to say Yeah for you!! on getting the column! One more beautiful feather in your gorgeous writing career hat. I am cheering for you and in your corner for all your writing triumphs. It gives me hope and encouragement to not give up on my own writing. Thank you for that.
I also want to say that your post about your time with your girls sounds like it was a good one. That is what they will remember, the time you've spent with them, teaching them new things, letting them help. Slow and steady, one visit at a time.
I am looking forward to trying out your chocolate cake recipe, but for all the American readers here are some translations :
caster sugar = white sugar of a finer crystal size than granulated sugar
gas mark 3 = 325 degree for electric oven
icing sugar = confectioners sugar
Flake = a messy, wonderful flakey chocolate bar that we do not have in the US, unless you get it from a British shop, or across the border in Canada . My suggestion is to get a plain chocolate bar, and use a grater to make the flakes.
You are all on your own about the grams . I don't have a conversion chart for that!
I have these translations and oven temp chart because I wouldn't have been able to use any of my MIL recipes from her personal cookbook that I inherited after she died. Cadbury (UK site) had/has a page on different measurements and such which has come in handy on many occasions.
Anyway, hope it helps. Jo, congrats on your new job, and keep up the good work!
JL
Life is not measured in the breaths we take, but in the moments that take our breath away...
Jo, You go girl!!!! How exciting for you. And....what a great day with your girls. Whatever's gotten into Andy, at least he's being nice for the time being and you don't seem to be "falling back in love" with him. Good for you!!!!
JL, Thanks for the translations and also for supporting Jo.
:
. My suggestion is to get a plain chocolate bar, and use a grater to make the flakes.