It's me again, remember me? Gwyn? HELP!!!!!

[ALL6785]

Gwen,

Let’s start with (((((Gwen))))))!!! How are you doing? Dealing with depression can be a tough one. I’ve been on both sides of that fence, I’ve dealt with a depressed S and gone through depression myself. Nevanna has a good point, you can’t make him do anything about it, I know that from my own experience, I was one of those tough guys that didn’t believe in depression, I always figured people with depression were weak minded people that just needed a kick in the a$$. Little did I know what depression was or how powerful it can be, it almost killed me. But in the back of my mind I knew that supposedly there was help for depression. Well I let it get totally out of control and it wasn’t until the day that I decided I couldn’t stand to live any longer that I finally sought help. That wasn’t easy for a “tough guy” like me but given my other option at the time it seemed like a good choice and I was finally willing to try anything.

The point I am trying to make is just make sure that your H knows that there is help out there. Had I not known that there was help available… well I don’t want to go there.

Other than that I wouldn’t give him any attention when the “death” talk starts. I don’t see this as a cry for help but rather just looking for some “poor me” attention. My suggestion is to tell him that you don’t want to hear all his complaining if he isn’t going to do anything to help himself, and then follow through.

Stay strong and continue to take care of yourself, you have come so far, you don’t want to go backward

[Gwyn]

Hello, right back at ya! Good to hear from you!

Going backwards - Oh absolutely not - I won't go back to that dark place!

I'm tuning up - I'm looking great, tanned, blonde hair and dressing for success. Weekends, I even look good when I'm working in the yard, cute and stylish (it actually makes me feel better). Anyway, rather than my H complimenting me, he's saying things like "why do you obssess about the way you look"? I like you the way you are. I tell him that I want him to be proud of me and he just says "uh huh". Anyway, it seems the more secure and happy I become with myself, the more insecure it seems he becomes. But I'll tell you this - he can't keep his hands off of me. What gives?

[ALL6785]

Gwyn.

Glad to hear that you are taking care of YOU. I’m not sure what to think of H’s attitude. It’s possible when he sees you looking good he feels guilty about what he is throwing away. Was your H a controlling type person? He might feel a loss of control and a bit threatened by your self confidence. I’m thinking it should get better in time… if not, you’re better off with out him, but it sounds like you already know that.

As far as what he does with his hands … take it as a complement!!! Take care.