Caught up a bit with your sitch. You put forth an amazing effort to save your M, and he wasted it. I'm sorry about that for you.
Yet, now you're taking the right steps to protect you and yours, without getting vengeful and extreme. Your choice of an A proves this. This will be a rough period due to emotions and stress, but it too shall pass, leaving you in charge of a household and future that can be filled with love and integrity, things that perhaps were in too short supply for you in the M.
Hi Beth, glad to see you have settled in well and making some new friend too.
As for seeing a L fantastic and he sounds great. Forearmed is Forewarned and there is nothing wrong in being prepared. It is no comfort but isn't the saying 3 strikes and your out well your H has had his 3 strikes unless he redeems himself and you start a new innings, which can always happen.
Look Beth you have done the right thing as seeing the L means you now know exactly where you stand and what can happen depending on what he does, which is good, this way you will know what to say to H, no matter what he says to you.
Beth you are a strong woman and as much as this hurts you will pull through fine, now let's have a drink....
So many new people here in surviving! I'd be depressed about it except I feel that after a time it's a good thing to finally move forward and begin taking care of yourself.
I wish I had at least talked to a lawyer and began making copies of papers, etc. before I actually did. I would have ended up better off.
I am very happy to learn that you have agood L. Mine only wanted money and she wanted a fight. She would have wiped both of us out if I had let her. In the end, how well you are prepared will result in good things for yourself.
Im sorry you made it over here. But at the same time I'm glad to hear you're doing well.
I'm back! Had a very fun and hectic weekend. Partied with friends and had a great time. It's interesting that before the bomb I had lost myself so completely. Didn't really have friends, only acquintances. Since the bomb, I have truly found friends and a support group that I can really count on to be there if I need it. It is such a great thing. The real question is why did I isolate myself for so long?
So now I try to encourage everyone to make sure they have a good L to stand up for them and be prepared.
Pam - Thanks for the great advice. I have to be prepared for the worst, even though I think we can be friendly through this. BTW, what part of Indiana do you live? I grew up in Bloomington. My mom still lives there.
I was just reading about it yesterday...as a Superbowl alternative, lol. I hope you guys have a great time!
April - The show was hilarious! Definitely a great thing to do with a group of women. We laughed so hard!
Having a discussion with H on Tuesday about our "settlement". Wish me luck.
Spit23 - My thoughts are with you. I hope that things can go as smoothly as possible. But with your H, you never know! Thanks for stopping by!
But about to start my new thread here...but thought I would bring myself and my glass of Merlot over to give Bether's a hug first!!
Lisa - Big hugs right back at ya! Glad to see you've moved here to the new digs! It's a great group of people here. So uncork another bottle. I'll join you in a glass (or two or three!)!!!
This will be a rough period due to emotions and stress, but it too shall pass, leaving you in charge of a household and future that can be filled with love and integrity, things that perhaps were in too short supply for you in the M.
Gabriel - Hello and thanks for posting! Thanks for writing that - it's funny how I thought I was so happy in my M but looking back there was alot missing. Thankfully, I kept my integrity. It's important to me. That's why I DBed as long as I did. I really wanted to have no regrets. And I don't. I've been catching up a little with you. I promise to drop by and add my $0.02!
Beth you are a strong woman and as much as this hurts you will pull through fine, now let's have a drink....
Hi Kim! How about a big pitcher of your infamous DB cocktail? Sounds very refreshing!
Im sorry you made it over here. But at the same time I'm glad to hear you're doing well.
Happy - thanks for the post! I too am sorry I'm here but then again I really have grown and learned so much about myself. I have become a richer person in the best sense(definitely not in the monetary sense). Strangely, I am happier now. I'm sad about losing my hopes and dreams. And I'm sad for my kids. But I think we will make it through this and be fine.
I'm just wondering if someday I'll get a real reason as to why my H thinks it is best to divorce. So far, all I've gotten is that he doesn't think it would be fair to make me wait. Great reason, isn't it? Oh well. His loss. At least we are able to be cordial. So, I can be thankful for that. We'll just see how cordial it stays as everything plays out. But, that's what lawyers are for!
WCB
God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
To change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
"The real question is why did I isolate myself for so long?"
I asked myself the same question. And the answer was the pain was too great and I couldn't talk about it. It's so peaceful not having to live under the isolation now, isn't it?.
"I have become a richer person in the best sense(definitely not in the monetary sense). Strangely, I am happier now. I'm sad about losing my hopes and dreams. And I'm sad for my kids. But I think we will make it through this and be fine."
And you will keep feeling happier. Up and down days some times but relieving that stress you've been feeling will bring out a happiness you likely haven't felt in a long, long time.
It's interesting that before the bomb I had lost myself so completely. Didn't really have friends, only acquintances. Since the bomb, I have truly found friends and a support group that I can really count on to be there if I need it. It is such a great thing. The real question is why did I isolate myself for so long?
Ditto Beth. I think that is a common thing that women do, and yet I was happy, or thought I was.
So at least we found ourselves again
Sounds like you had a great night out. And lots more to come
Busy week with kid stuff. Band concert one night, open house at school another. And, I'm just plain tired. This is week 3 of being back to work full time after the holidays. It's taking me a while to re-adjust!
We are planning to tell the kids on Saturday about the divorce. Any suggestions? Do's and dont's? They've been doing so well. The separation didn't affect them nearly as much as I thought it would. But my H travels ALOT. So the kids were used to him being gone all the time. Their day to day life hasn't changed that much. And, it won't in the divorce, except for the fact that we need to move to a smaller home.
I need a glass of wine but it'll have to wait til tomorrow. Too tired to open a bottle! Anybody have an open bottle and is willing to share?
WCB
God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
To change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
Hey Beth, it's already morning but I have an open bottle in the fridge. You may want to work answers to probable questions in advance (like "why" for example and "when"). XW and I did that although I let HER explain why.
You need a break to look forward to. How about Vegas?
Don't count on your STBX for support, if he's anything like mine was, he'll sit there and let you say everything -oh and with a vacant look on his face. Not a word, except when it was over, and then he said "bye".
My suggestion to you is to MAKE him say something to the kids. Tell him beforehand that he needs to take control of the talk. For a long time, my kids thought this whole thing was my idea because I was the one who said everything to them about the D. If it's his idea, he needs to talk the talk.
