Thanks so much Steve. Your in my thoughts all the time. I know at some point I have to thank him for coming back, and in some ways I have already. I'm hoping once this baby is born I'll be able to thank him for his hard work. I see the changes he has done too, so Its not all me. When the time is right I will.
Every day is still hard work. The other night some 19 year old girl that was on his last job was calling him at 1 am asking him to come to some keg party. I know she's young, and stupid, and knows we're married, but doesn't know what that means. Well the convo bothered me, but not as much as what happened next. At 2:30 she decided to text him, being all drunk and stupid, saying how much she wants him. Well that just brought back a huge amount of emotions. It made me cry, the first time in months. Of course my H was sorta proud of himself knowing some 19 year old was thinking about him while she's drunk, me on the other hand didn't think it was funny. So words of insecurity where said, and we went to bed cranky with each other. The next morning, I woke up to kisses and a back rub.
I know I'm silly to be worried, but I will always be on guard looking for little evidence of another OW. I see how the pain that my H has caused me, bothers him, yet he will never say sorry. He's still saying that the A wasn't a big deal because it happened after we broke up, but I know him better than that. ITs a cover up so he doesn't let his muncho guard down.
Each day is a day to learn from.
As for this baby, I have another month to go, but have started the dilation process, and I think I'm closer to having this baby later this week, maybe sometime next week. I am so tired of not being able to reach down!.!. I feel huge. I so long for my own body back! I'll eamil pictures when it does happen.
I saved my marriage and so can you....Its all about positive thinking...
Quote: I know I'm silly to be worried, but I will always be on guard looking for little evidence of another OW. I see how the pain that my H has caused me, bothers him, yet he will never say sorry.
PPL, you are NOT silly to be worried. You are totally justified given the history. I also would not totally think that he will never apologize. He may very well in time, but maybe he has not forgiven himself yet for hurting such a special woman!
Worry is inevitable, but recognize it as something you CAN control. Concentrate on the positive, and use the techniques Michelle suggests to build the strongest love you can. There may be words that hurt, but notice the actions. There will be emotions, rightfully so given your current state, just don't base your actions on your emotions.
Where was he and whose back did he rub? That is what counts.
I think with time as he learns from this life lesson, he will soften his stance about affairs and being "justified". This is a learning curve that will be on his own timeframe. Do you hear the word "pressure" coming?
We have all learned by leaps and bounds from the insights we searched for on the web. We actively seeked the information we know as gospel, we just can't expect others to bow to our wisdom.
Take care and relax these last couple of weeks. (if possible) I'm sure you are as uncomfortable as heck, just be thankful it isn't summer with a ton of heat and humidity.
My best friend did the exact same thing - had her son as early as you possibly could without having prematurity problems, and a 2 hour labor. Meanwhile, I had just gone 2 weeks overdue and had about 30 hours of labor. When I figured out her pregnancy was 5 1/2 weeks shorter than mine, boy was I pissed!!!!
So here I find myself, in a secure relationship with my husband. Things are great. We didn't go back into the honeymoon stage after we got back together, but are in the second marriage stage where we should be. It was like nothing happened at all, other than a wake up call. It was like a slap in the face to say... hey, if you don't smarten up, you will lose it all.
I have learnt soooo much over the last few months. My little man is 3 weeks old already. Time flies having 2 kids . Some days I sit down after the kids are in bed, and am shocked that I didn't get a chance to shower. But here comes my problems.
I'm feeling like a total loser for wanting to save the marriage. My friends act happy one minute that things worked out, and in the same breath, make me feel like I have no backbone, and that I made the biggest mistake for loving a person that hurt me sooo bad. I'm getting comments all the time, and I'm having a hard time dealing with this. I'm scared to talk to my H in someways, and yet I feel stupid for thinking I can't talk to him.
But I do have to give him the thumbs up. He's reading me better and better. For the last few days I'm struggling with my feelings. I'm feeling sorry for myself and insecure again, and my H knew something was up. He waited patiently and when I was finally able to talk, he listened and validated how I was feeling. For the first time he wasn't interested in saving the world, but just wanted to listen.
Why do people get off on seeing others in trouble? Why do they feel the need to play with my head? Why is it such a bad thing that I wanted my soulmate in my life? Why can we not be happy???????????
I know we need new friends. I know it is time to move on with people who are interested in having fun, instead of bitchin about everything. I want to surround us with couples that are happy, and healthy, yet these are friends who have been part of our lives our whole life.
Maybe I'm just having one of those postpartum blue days. I'm probley reading more into stuff then I need to. I just feel like people are judging me for my decisions. I feel like people are always talking about us behind our backs.
How do you get over that?
I saved my marriage and so can you....Its all about positive thinking...
We can't go through life looking over our shoulders. We must pick a direction and move forward. These are our choices. Some make choices based on what other may percieve as the right choice. These are the people who never truely find happiness because they are trying to please others and not themselves.
You on the other hand have made choices based on what YOU want. Choices that are truely destined to be the best choices for YOUR family, YOUR kids and YOUR spouse. The road you have chosen was not the easy road, but it is the right road.
So walk with your head high! You fought for what YOU wanted and have WON!!!!!!
