Hi all. I need some kind of guidance today more than ever I think; I am an anxious mess. I am SO AFRAID H will run back to her.

I havent said much to him, I did ask him very briefly this morning before work if his email from yesterday was still accurate. he said yes (the one that started with "good morning love:" and ended with "You sure have nothing to worry about now"... I couldnt sleep last night, and commented to him that I guessed I was tossing and turning because I was anxious...he said "I know"...this morning I've just gotten the short business like emails from him...I did tell him again that I'm having trouble with "fears", and he said there is nothing to "fret" about, but I sure remember hearing that last fall. He talked about being really busy and that he likes that right now because it helps keep his mind off of things.....

then, and this was upsetting to me, he asked if I was for sure planning on going tomorrow , so what, is he talking with her about her going if I didnt????? I emailed back that I was planning to if the invitation was still open, and that I was looking forward to it. I havent gotten a response since I sent that.
H is complaining of being sick to his stomach and not feeling well, was complaining this morning before work.

I'm having such a hard time...he is so all over the place in the emotional "vibes" I get from him. Last night, he was more cheerful than I had seen him in a long, long time, joking and laughing about "the kids", joking that his immaturity has gotten him this far in life, really cheerful. He got home from work before I did because I stopped to pick up some scented oil and "stuff". when I was changing clothes, he initiated a "quickie" and was so cheerful and happy about it...

even this morning he was saying we should go to a nearby city to hear one of "the kids" band, and that we should have a barbeque and have that band play and invite the coworker that left last fall that he's missed so, and that we could invite some neighbors we've kind of had a rocky relationship with to "get them back"......

and now, 3-4 hours later he seems so down and distant again.

It would help me so much if he would share with me where he's at, what's going on. but he seems to close up again, and that scares me because it's what's always happened before when he runs back to her. and of course, it's hardball this time. lots at stake.

been around awhile!