Looking backward...but only to move forward FOUR

[2much]

Sage, just wanted to thank you for all your reviewing of your threads! I absolutely LOVE it! It helps me out so much! Hope you dont mind, but I borrowed a part of one of your posts to quote on my thread....it was some good inspirational thinking...so needed to put it on my thread so I could read it..! Thanks for everything you do!! I just hope some day I can be in the same place as you and your H are too!!

[Hopeful_Scared]

Hi Sage,

Ditto ditto for 2much's post. Also I took your advice and am now officially in piecing!!!!

[kml]

I do wish, though, if that's it, that it could come wrapped in a different package...the anger and "you always" and "you never" and "I've given up thinking THAT will change" reminds me too much of THEN.

Don't you HATE it when Mr. Grumpy puts in an appearance? My H has been doing a little of that lately too, and I have to admit, I let it rattle me when I shouldn't. In my case, though, H doesn't see it - I've tried to tell him I'm picking up these little clues his mood is slipping, and he insists he's in a "good place". I know the signs, though, and can see his mood is on a downward cycle.

I think what I need to do, though, is be more careful not to let his mood drag me down with it, and work harder at being the "tugboat" that turns him around with my good mood. (That, or slip some extra Prozac in his OJ! )

Ellie

[sage]

2much -- I love that you found something on my old threads that resonated with you! Copy away!

Hopeful -- hey, you! I was psyched to see your new thread! I'm glad you made the leap.

Ellie -- yah, as much as I try to convince myself that I can handle it...sometimes the appearance of Mr. Grumpy just really throws me for a loop...I'm not saying h can't be in a bad mood but when it's the "always" "never" thing that gets thrown at me it's really tough..particularly if I'm having a tough time myself. I try to keep myself upbeat but also not put too much pressure on him to get out of his bad mood...I think I need to remember that one thing that works well for us is ACTION (getting out, doing something) though it's often hard to motivate him to do that!

**********
So, having a busy time of it...I told my team today that I'm leaving...they took it really hard but at the same time were really supportive. A few people have stopped by and have had such kind things to say...they really are amazing people!

So, I'm trying to get all my stuff cleaned up here (passing along info to new interim manager, etc). Tomorrow is definitely going to be busy one!

This weekend was hectic...Friday night we stayed in...I was surprised by that and h asked me if I was mad at the end of the night...I guess I was being really quiet/lowkey. Saturday we went for a long hike then that night we went to a party for a friend. I had a good time but h didn't -- too much "cheese" factor for him! Sunday we slept late and then I was gone for a lot of the day visiting my sister. h worked his butt off while I was gone -- did SO MUCH around the house! Last night we went to see "Cinderella Man" -- I thought it was really good.

h started his new job today so I'm off to meet him. I can't wait to hear ALL about IT!!!!

Sage

[Fighting4Wife]

Sage,

Ditto on 2Much's comments. Thanks. It puts somethings into perspective. Drop by if you have a chance. Along with all the rest I value you input.

[IAChild]

Sage,

I would like to ask you a favor.

I'm getting some frustrating feedback on my thread. When you have a few moments, would you be willing to read some of my most recent posts and share your insights with me?

Basically it boils down to my T and posters on my thread telling me to go dark, when I know what is working is being open and available to SO. I'm confused!!!

Thanks!

[renegade]

Ellie -- yah, as much as I try to convince myself that I can handle it...sometimes the appearance of Mr. Grumpy just really throws me for a loop...I'm not saying h can't be in a bad mood but when it's the "always" "never" thing that gets thrown at me it's really tough..particularly if I'm having a tough time myself. I try to keep myself upbeat but also not put too much pressure on him to get out of his bad mood...I think I need to remember that one thing that works well for us is ACTION (getting out, doing something) though it's often hard to motivate him to do that

Just dropping in from "We're separated, now what", and this caught my eye. I go through the same thing as you do with trying to weather the grumpy storms while trying to "work it out" with my W. Last few days have been bad with it. . .after a few good weekends after the "talk" and claim that she wants to work things out.

Let me know if you have any secrets for staying up with your PMA!

Keep up the great work!

Renegade

Renegade's Current Thread

[sage]

Took the day off from work today and have been running errands and relaxing. It's beautiful here (finally!) and h and I are meeting up for dinner outside someplace.

I did a few AOS -- laundry, got stuff ready to throw in the crockpot tomorrow, some cleaning up, etc. It's so hard to get stuff done when we're both home (unless we're both motivated to work around the house). I'm not liking how cluttered this place looks, though, so I want to get cracking on it. H suggested the other day that we have "2 nights for quick cleanup and 1 errand night a week".

Still lots of positive feedback from the folks at my current job about my new job...well, the team IS bummed but everyone just seems so darned happy for me that I'm going to do something I'm really excited about! Yahoo!

H's new job is going well. He's already kicking butt on the assignments that they've been giving him.

Sage

[sage]

Hey guys,

Not much time to post this past week...winding down work at my current job. When I start my new job on the 20th my internet time is going to be hardly any at all! I'm going to have to be a lot more efficient about posting and replying to people on their threads.

Things are going well tidying things up at work. Everyone is being super supportive. I'm still amazingly calm which is both strange and good (and somewhat hard to believe!).

h finished his first week at his new position and can I just say that he's kicking butt all over the place? He and his office mate won a "scavenger hunt" contest that took them around to the courthouses in the area, etc. Also, everyone got their first assignments and had until the 24th to complete the first part of it...well, h finished the first part in about 36 hours and submitted it to his boss who responded by giving h another assignment which is VERY time sensitive and extremely important. It's some sort of response that has to be filed with the court and h is going to write it!!! I can't believe how talented he is at this lawyering stuff

One of the other reasons I haven't been posting is that I've been sort of irked at myself...having a tough time a bit. I'm finding myself back in some bad habits...mostly silent ones but things like being watchful and suspicious and putting up with a lot of negative thoughts in my head...I've been overanalyzing everything h says or does and really personalizing things too...ok, I think I've listed all the bad stuff! ASSuming, Analyzing, Personalizing...what am I leaving out???

The good news is that I haven't been reactive. The bad news is that even though this stuff is mostly in my head I can feel it change the tone of the room and the r, you know?

So...I've been focusing again on my internal peace...started listening to some tapes again that always calm me down...trying to speak h's ll, trying to take good care of myself. I know that all of this is simply a reaction to a lot of stress but it's still been hard to see me lapsing again...Good thing is that I SEE it, right?

Anyway...gotta go be productive around this house!

Sage

[SP1]

Hi Sage - I know you are very busy getting ready for your new job - Congrats! btw - but if you could pop over to my new thread in mlc - Year #3: Back into the tunnel, I would appreciate your sage advice. I seem to stuck in neutral so any insight you may have would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Sage and the best of luck in your new job

SP