My husband just called to say,"Hi." This prompted me to start this thread. I'd like others to join in and post about how they and their partners are piecing together their marriages together!
It took a while before my husband turned around and started really piecing. He took "babysteps" while I was really db'ing. However, once he felt that things had really turned around between us, he started piecing, too. He doesn't call it piecing and doesn't know squat about d'bing. It's just that my actions have caused reactions in him. Good behaviour brings about positive responses, after a while. This doesn't always mean a marriage can be saved...it does mean that most relationships can be improved, though.
I am a totally different person today than I was when I first found this website. My relationship has grown, changed, evolved. It's better than ever.
My H is more affactionate, and does contact me throughout the day.
Still have a ways to go though, before I can say the puzzle is finished.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Here's a little post that tells some of the piecing work that I did way back when H and I were just getting back together...
I acted as if. I did not complain or bring up R talks. I treated him like a friend...I made plans to go out with friends (for while he was gone to work) in front of him so that he could see I have a life....I went to church without him...I pampered him...giving him daily foot rubs....I got out of bed in the morning when he did or shortly thereafter...instead of sleeping half the day away....I stayed sober....I took my meds....when he talked about finances I listened.....I went to my counseling appointment.
I did not complain about him watching sports.
I cooked breakfasts for the two of us and made a cake that I know he likes.
I cooked dinners that he likes and stayed out of the kitchen when he was cooking.
I did not say ILY until he was leaving for work....
What didn't I do? I didn't ask a lot of questions. I didn't snoop through his stuff. I didn't try to rehash old issues.
Hope that helps someone today!
Hugs, Akgal
PS... My threads were Mixed Emotions in newcomers, And in Piecing...Back In the Saddle Again, and Falling in Love All Over Again....
Great idea! I got up with H this morning and made us coffee and we stood out on his deck for a few minutes drinking coffee and chatting a bit before going to work. He mentioned that his place was a pig sty and I really wanted to say, yeah, it sure is--but I didn't say anything. It's his house and he makes the rules there. I don't need to control. He has been teasing me more, which is more like his old self. I do want to try to be a little less available though and that is kind of a scary thought right now.
I have a lot of medical bills from Hysterectomy and from a prior D&C to stop bleeding. I just got done mailing out payments on 14 different accounts! The payments added up to $500..plus a little change.
I called H at work to tell him and explained how guilty this makes me feel. H said to just keep paying on them, it didn't bother him as much as it used to...to be in debt. He told me not to worry about it.
