Thanks Geneva. I will try my best to have some faith in myself and my decisions.
I would love to do something special this Friday for our anniversary. I want to show him that it DOES mean something to me, everything else aside. I don't have a babysitter...so I am trying to brainstorm ideas so we can have a nice night and just enjoy each other. Maybe I should search the web for some ideas.
Quote: Although, I do believe that everything happens for a reason and there was a reason it never got finalized. Yup, LOL..that's me still over analyzing!! So all in all I would say that if I let it go through, H may be a little hostile towards me because he is hurt. If I stop it, he will be happier and want to work harder on making this work. Kind of answers my own questions here.
You definitely answered your own question here! I of course am all about love...money/finacial security is good but love conquers all right!?!?!?!
Penn, what are the ages of your kids? I found a babysitter through my city's community center. They have a babysitting class and they have a list of girls who've completed it. That might be one place to start, but I know Friday is soon. Any friends you could ask for a favor? If that doesn't work out, perhaps you could plan something special at home after the kids go the bed.
Maybe even a playful fun evening. Some wine, a board game. You two sound like you're at a place in your R where you could have a conversation about all the things that you like and admire about each other. Just kind of some reconnecting stuff. Make sure that you plan something to keep the topic of the D off, unless of course, you decide to stop it before then.
Thanks for the replies. I did answer my question. I know I want to work on this marriage. I love my H. So, I think I should postpone the divorce. Marriage is about love, not money or material things.
As for Friday....I am thinking that maybe we should stay in I came up with a little plan. I am going to get him a nice anniversary card, and in it is going to be a copy of the letter that I am writing to the attorney to postpone the finalization of the divorce. He has been wanting to put his wedding band back on, but hasn't because he didn't want me to feel like I had to if I didn't want to. I think I am going to have the rings cleaned up, and when I give him the card with the letter in it, I will present him with his ring and ask him to stay married to me. Ofcourse, I will have the dim lights, the romantic music and our favorite wine.
Geneva- Thanks for asking how I am doing. I am actually doing pretty good. I had a rough day today (like everyone else, I have family issues going on as well as all this) I was upset and crying earlier. I told H I was going to take a bath and he told me to go sit and relax a bit first. So, I did. About 10 minutes later, he came out and told me I could go take my bath. He had gotten a bubble bath ready for me, lit up the bathroom with my favorite scented candles, and put on the soft music. He also poured me a glass of wine and set it on the side of the tub for me. It was so sweet. H hasn't done something like this for me in years. This was the H that I fell in love with. THIS is the man I married. It's been slow coming, but we are getting back to ourselves again and it feels good. As I sat there in the tub, I couldn't help but think of the sweet things like that he used to do for me, and I realized I never actually appreciated him or any of it. Wow...had that changed now. So, more positives for me today!!!! How are you doing? Do you have a thread? I tried looking for one, but couldn't find it. If you could point me to your where you post, I would love to be able to try and offer you advice on your situation.
Unsure- I am dropping by your thread. I hope you are hanging in there and things are ok.
Good for you Penn. It's so great to hear a story that is progressing so nicely. I love your ideas for Friday. I have high hopes for you and your H.
Wine, bubble bath, candles, oh that all sounds so good.
I'm a dork for not learning how to link yet, but my sitch in the 'we're separated, now what' forum, and right now it's called 'the beginning.' I do know that if you click on my name and view all my posts, you'll see that I posted to it earlier today. I appreciate all the input that I can get. If you want more history, my original thread is in the 'newcomer' forum and it's called' My husband is depressed' It's been a couple weeks since I've posted to that. Thanks again for the interest.
I'm smiling for you and your H.
Geneva
Okay, so I just practiced how to link using my old thread and I think I might have it. Here goes...
Thanks! The bubble bath was just so sweet. I forgot how loving and caring he can be. I missed that. I am happy to see it back.
I stopped at the store and looked for the perfect card for Friday and found it. It talks about how you start out in marriage with all these hopes and dreams, and life changes, there is good and there is bad, but no matter what, the love that I feel for him never changes. It was worded a lot better then that (it's in my car so I can't type it word for word) but it fits in with my plan so perfectly. H has always been one to put a lot of time into finding the perfect card. For his b-day and now for our anniversary, I did the same for him.
I was thinking about mentioning to him that this Friday is our anniversary. Not that he doesn't know, but to get his input on what he feels he wants to do. Does he want to celebrate? Does he want to do anything? I don't want to plan this if he doesn't feel like it's a good idea. I just thought that getting an idea of where he is can help me plan everything a little better.
And hmm........naked twister......heehee...already planned on that!!! That's what the wine is for!
Thanks also for the positive outlooks for me and my H. I feel good about this too. I have my doubtful moments, but for the most part I am feeling that we can do this. I also feel like a ton of weight has been lifted off my chest since I made my decision about the D.
Hope everyone is well tonight. If we hang in there we can all get through this. It took me over a year to get to here, but it can be done.
Penn, everything sounds great. You know your H wants to celebrate, but it's cool that you want his input. You never know, he might be planning something!
Wine, twister, the night sounds interesting indeed! I'm so happy for you.
My guess is he is probably apprehensive about the anniversary because he is unsure if you have made your decision on the D yet??? If you were planning on saving that news until Friday....I may be way off base. I don't think you necessarily have to say anything to him...just be open to his plans if he has made some...if he hasn't (don't be upset) stick to your plans! Or mix and match...do what he wants and then play naked twister!
You seem much more light hearted since you made your decision...I know that was weighing heavily on your mind and his too!
Unsure- You were right. I asked him today what he wanted to do tomorrow. He said I don't know, I guess watch a movie. I said OK. I told him I was just wondering if he wanted to celebrate our anniversary. He replied with an "Ofcourse I do, I was waiting to see what you wanted to do about it. It has been on my mind for a while now." So, I guess I my plan is still going ahead.
On a side note, H had a bad day today. He was quite emotional. We own a business and he let it slip while he was caught up in his R with OW. Now, he is feeling the stress of it. He was crying and telling me that I shouldn't have to pay for his mistakes and that he felt like a piece of sh**. He asked me what I saw in him, and why I would want to be back with him. I did the best I could to tell him that I love him, I know who he really is, I know he isn't a bad person he just made some bad decisions, we all do that in life. That we will get through this together. For some reason, that upset him more. Well, I am glad that he is still feeling like he can talk to me.
And I do feel much better since I made my decision. Probably because I feel I made the right one.
Have a great night!! I will check in your post and see how you are today.
I came up with a little plan. I am going to get him a nice anniversary card, and in it is going to be a copy of the letter that I am writing to the attorney to postpone the finalization of the divorce. He has been wanting to put his wedding band back on, but hasn't because he didn't want me to feel like I had to if I didn't want to. I think I am going to have the rings cleaned up, and when I give him the card with the letter in it, I will present him with his ring and ask him to stay married to me. Ofcourse, I will have the dim lights, the romantic music and our favorite wine. 
That's what the wine is for! 