Azure, Great to hear you sounding so well. Sounds like you are doing very well at getting rid of all the pain and heartache. Maybe I need to read that book too. Have a wonderful week. Ron
My new goal #1. Find happiness and hold onto it. Forget everything else. It doesn't matter. (Happiness helpers: Respect, Friendship, Humor, Music, Passionate Sex)
Azure, I love the description of your weekend. H2H is right, YOU sound good. That sounds like a propitious start to dating, wow, an open and honest fella, that's great. Got to wonder what your H thought, sitting there, but then I've always wondered what was in his head around this stuff. Really, the important thing is that you are stepping out into life (and your sweet doggie is rolling into life! ) and that is so attractive....go you indeed.
Wow - this all sounds really good for you. It is amazing that we had to go through such painfully horrible events to get to where we are now - but we honestly are stronger, better and hopefully someday happier individuals. You possess a strength and power that is not easy to come by and I truly respect and admire you.
I'm glad that you are doing so much for YOU! I feel that I'm doing the same. I'm behind you on the journey but I'm trying to keep neck-n-neck.
Hey Azure! It was great to read your update!! I am so glad to hear that your dog is doing well with the new "wheels"!!
I am so impressed that you and H spent time together......... isn't it amazing that once we "let go" the sitch becomes so much less emotionally charged? I have found the same thing in my sitch!
May I ask what made youy decide to go with a dating service?? I am happy for you and you sound like you are ready. I can't decide if I am ready or not and doubt I will just "trip over" someone so I have toyed with the idea of something online or even one of those "it's just lunch" things..........hmmm........would love your input!
Keep up the great work on YOU!!! Enjoy your time with MIL!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Improv class! That is awesome. I would love to hear all about your adventures there.
It sounds to me that youa re really figuring out your adventure. I am so glad to here about your pooch, too. I'll bet she really gets into making donuts with her new wheels.
Azure, Feel free to post here. Everyone else is. Ron
My new goal #1. Find happiness and hold onto it. Forget everything else. It doesn't matter. (Happiness helpers: Respect, Friendship, Humor, Music, Passionate Sex)
Ha ha, Ron! Totally, H2H, , Jen, Maya, GBO, Sun (I'll get back to you on that), thanks for your wonderful cheering words.
Well, I had a wonderful visit up north with STBX MIL and her husband. I realized that, although I've talked to them on the phone, especially when BIL went missing and his subsequent tragic discovery, I actually haven't seen them since last November! That's practically a year. And what a year it was. Anyway, I drove up on Saturday and spent the night, had a great dinner with them and enjoyed hanging out. We discussed BIL a lot, and I read all the sympathy cards they had received, but only made side mentions of H, and those were pleasant or neutral. I was upbeat throughout. I guess I was a little nervous about it beforehand, but one of my friends wisely pointed out that MIL must love me and want to see me, and probably worries that she has "lost" me in addition to BIL (not in as traumatic a way, of course). That helped me look at things without as much anxiety. MIL hugged me several times and said meaningfully how good it was to see me, and that made me feel good. I also ran into a neighbor of her's, and somehow she and I immediately got into a deep discussion about loss and change, and hugged at the end, and her 2 year old hugged me too (so sweet).
H and I had an email tiff last week, I really didn't mean for it to be one, but sent him something Optimist had posted on her thread and asked if it had any resonance for him. Of course, it's hard to read tone in email, but it seemed like it made him feel defensive, and he brought out the old arguments about why our R had to end (my selfishness, his drinking, that we "didn't fight about things") (I find this interesting that he is so fixated on fighting rather than working out conflict , especially since his previous R was all about fighting, and that didn't last either). I affirmed that we should have discussed those issues, and apologized for said selfishness again, and commented that I had had many regrets about well, basically, about not understanding his LL, although I didn't put it that way), but that we can't change the past, only learn from painful lessons and resovle to understand more in the future. He made no response to this, and that was last Thursday.
However, yesterday (Monday) he emailed me with no mention of Thursday's half-dozen exchanges or my apology, and said he hoped I'd had a nice visit with MIL, and that he had badly sprained his ankle the day before and was on the way to the doctor. I replied simply, that I had had a really nice visit with MIL, and some medical advice on bad sprains. Nothing since. I know he is having lunch with MIL today before she and her H leave on a trip.
Friends, I will be out of town for the next few days, and thus probably not on-line. So no grief from Ron, please!
Azure, Okay, no grief, I promise. You had a wonderful visit with the INLs. That was nice. I am happy for you. You so deserve some good times in your life.
Sorry if I prompt you too hard. I guess I miss you. Ron
My new goal #1. Find happiness and hold onto it. Forget everything else. It doesn't matter. (Happiness helpers: Respect, Friendship, Humor, Music, Passionate Sex)
My new goal #1. Find happiness and hold onto it. Forget everything else. It doesn't matter. (Happiness helpers: Respect, Friendship, Humor, Music, Passionate Sex)
I am so glad to hear that your dog is doing well with the new "wheels"!!
