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BL42 #2941913 01/11/23 05:47 AM
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Rockon Offline OP
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Been doing very well today and this evening. Made a great dinner for kids and S’s friend. Got stuff done today. Exercised.

Yesterday morning W informed me she’s heading out of the country. No response from me. But I was thrown into some ptsd symptoms storm. Reached out for help and followed steps that I know work and got on track.

Focusing on me and kids. Planning to have a blast! And take good care of myself.


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
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Rockon #2941918 01/11/23 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Rockon
Yesterday morning W informed me she’s heading out of the country. No response from me. But I was thrown into some ptsd symptoms storm.
I assume this is to meet up w/OM? Sorry Rockon. That's an absolutely awful feeling.

Remember Kind18's Response to Your Airport Pickup Suggestion 3-4 months ago? Are you any closer to that mindset now than you were then? Keep working on your detachment.

Originally Posted by Rockon
Reached out for help and followed steps that I know work and got on track.
Good. Glad you sought help and were able to work through it.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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Rockon #2941922 01/11/23 01:14 PM
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you've taken another step in the direction of peace.

you can't stop her from whatever it is she's going to do.

you can focus on yourself, your kids, and live your best life. She may or may not notice and do something about it. Regardless, you'll be ok. I promise.

Congratulations on that step. I know it's not easy. Keep going. You're doing better than you think.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Rockon #2941924 01/11/23 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Rockon
Yesterday morning W informed me she’s heading out of the country.
I am worried about your mental health Rock this must be very difficult for you. There was a poster years back TXhubby who watched his w run around him for years and it almost killed him. Until he finally had enough. He did end up reconciling at some point because he was done with his W.

DB-ing is very hard. And men and women are different. Even MWD will tell you that it's harder to turn around a WAW and WW than a man. Also, there is a tendency on these forums to get stuck in waiting mode. MWD talks about the last resort technique, after the last resort techniques, ultimatums and going dark. These are proactive, powerful things that show you are serious. They almost never get mentioned or implemented on the forums. The nature of a forum leads to lots of analysis about every conversation, text and facial expression in the relationship.

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BL42 #2941925 01/11/23 02:00 PM
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Rockon Offline OP
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I am closer to that for sure. I am going about this time more detached.


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
LH19 #2941926 01/11/23 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by Rockon
Yesterday morning W informed me she’s heading out of the country.
I am worried about your mental health Rock this must be very difficult for you. There was a poster years back TXhubby who watched his w run around him for years and it almost killed him. Until he finally had enough. He did end up reconciling at some point because he was done with his W.

DB-ing is very hard. And men and women are different. Even MWD will tell you that it's harder to turn around a WAW and WW than a man. Also, there is a tendency on these forums to get stuck in waiting mode. MWD talks about the last resort technique, after the last resort techniques, ultimatums and going dark. These are proactive, powerful things that show you are serious. They almost never get mentioned or implemented on the forums. The nature of a forum leads to lots of analysis about every conversation, text and facial expression in the relationship.
LH is right, but you have to be absolutely ready to do the LRT before you do it or it will amount to absolutely nothing.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
LH19 #2941927 01/11/23 02:04 PM
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Rockon Offline OP
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LH, I am also concerned about my MH and I’m taking action. Going to talk to my therapist today about my lows and my plan to get through W’s absence.


“ MWD talks about the last resort technique, after the last resort techniques, ultimatums and going dark. These are proactive, powerful things that show you are serious. They almost never get mentioned or implemented on the forums”

I am reading DR again. Can you tell me more about this?

Last edited by Rockon; 01/11/23 02:06 PM.

M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
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bttrfly #2941929 01/11/23 02:14 PM
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Rockon Offline OP
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It’s really not easy. Thank you for your support. It even took me awhile to type it out here on the boards that she’s going again. My first worry was actually about youngest D - how would I be able to pull it together to be there for her? I did - I am doing it, and I will be here for her.


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
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Rockon #2941933 01/11/23 03:04 PM
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Stay strong Rock,

I’ve realized that what’s going to happen is going to happen, no matter what I do to try and control it. All it does is cause me anxiety and stress when I try to control. I am not perfect but working toward dropping the rope and acceptance of whatever the situation is. It’s upto me on how I handle my part. A lot easier said than done. On that note, I appreciate your posts, they help me a lot. I think you are doing the best you can, and love seeing the growth in you as you lost. Stay strong my friend.


Me:44 W:42
M:22 T: 22-23
S:22 D:19 D:16 S:6
Confirm EA/PA: 7/22
BD/IHS: 10/22
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Rockon #2941936 01/11/23 03:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Rockon
LH, I am also concerned about my MH and I’m taking action. Going to talk to my therapist today about my lows and my plan to get through W’s absence.


“ MWD talks about the last resort technique, after the last resort techniques, ultimatums and going dark. These are proactive, powerful things that show you are serious. They almost never get mentioned or implemented on the forums”

I am reading DR again. Can you tell me more about this?




Real quick cause I'm busier than a one armed wallpaper hanger this morning.....

This is the best description that I have read about the LRT.....

It's from an old moderator here named JamesJohn......


https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=42486&page=1

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