Clearly a glutton for punishment

[DonH]

Well this is in a nutshell why OLDing doesn’t work. Most men don’t understand women so he thinks he’s doing the right thing by letting you pick the place. He’s excited to meet you so that’s creepy. If he didn’t text enough there is no connection. The avg man can’t win.

Middle age independent women are hard to please. That is why the avg woman responds to 1 out of every 120 messages.

Yep, give it enough time and they eventually come over to my side about OLD. Lol. Ginger is already here although it took her many years but the soul sucking is complete. You’re going to deny it LH to keep you’re pride but I could have written the same thing you just did. You’re correct, most guys can’t win. If he’s just barely trying, he’s a player or avoidant or just looking for a hook up. If he’s really excited and putting in effort he’s creepy. Just one of many reasons OLD doesn’t work for many to most people.

Middle age independent women are hard to please. BINGO although so are some guys but not as much. I was just saying this to someone a few days ago - I can rattle off a whole bunch of women I’ve either dated, thought about dating or asked out but never dated - mostly the first one. They are all to this day single, rarely dating and have not had someone they call their boyfriend in years.

If nothing else Ginger, you’re not alone. I’m sure these women feel the same. I know I often do. Give LH a few more years to where he’s into double digit years like we are and he will agree with us - or will have met a darker haired average built flat chested woman with SPF 30 offline he’s connected with.

Now. Do have to say, in and of itself I don’t see the flags. I’m sure there’s more too it and it’s also the vibe you’re picking up. Offering to pick up a stranger, yeah bad move. Offering a different place or time, call me crazy I see that as being nice and flexible. This too is wrong? Or perhaps it’s also where you’re at and at this point he’s not likeky to do or say anything you’re excited over. Perhaps it’s validation that the coach at least gets some things right - don’t text too much, nothing good can come from it. He’d have been much better off setting the date and shutting up.

[Ginger1]

I think Core nailed pretty good what is very off putting for me. Dodging non-existent landmines, not confident enough to make a decision on where to go. When he did, I told him, “sure, sounds good” and gave no indication of having any issue with it, but he made it like I did. Then said he was overthinking it like he was not confident of something. It’s just not attractive. Is it because I’m a middle aged woman who is hard to “please”? I wouldn’t use the word “please” but yes, when you are a middle aged woman who has been alone and is independent doesn’t just want or need anyone. This is true. It takes a lot more to get our interest and keep it, that’s for sure.

Like I said, the overtop morning text with a bitmoji at 8:10 am every morning on the dot is too much before you even met or spoke on a phone. It is uncomfortable to me. The over excitement when we haven’t met is uncomfortable to me. It’s not a matter of him “winning” or “losing” in how he acts. It doesn’t feel good to me.

And he has been divorced one year. His wife cheated and recently married her affair partner. I’m sure he is drenched in insecurity. He only sees his 14 year old twin sons every other weekend . I actually asked why. It was alimony or this arrangement. He chose this. But don’t worry “ when life hands him lemons he makes lemonade and he’s always positive!”

LH, you would hate all of this from a woman, and you know it. He’s not just a “nice guy” . I know more of what he is doing , because this used to be me. And that stupid statistic you love to throw out there with the 120, has nothing to do with middle aged woman being easy to please. You aren’t the easiest to please yourself. Your physical aesthetic you need also makes you very difficult to please.

Yes, OLD is absolutely soul sucking. My soul has I am afraid has been drained.

I am going through with the date because he took the whole day off for it( I did not know that) but if I’m not interested , I will let him know promptly that I did not feel a connection. And I will as I always do,
Offer to pay my half .

[LH19]

[quote=LH19]Well this is in a nutshell why OLDing doesn’t work. Most men don’t understand women so he thinks he’s doing the right thing by letting you pick the place. He’s excited to meet you so that’s creepy. If he didn’t text enough there is no connection. The avg man can’t win.

Middle age independent women are hard to please. That is why the avg woman responds to 1 out of every 120 messages.

You’re going to deny it LH to keep you’re pride but I could have written the same thing you just did. You’re correct, most guys can’t win.

Well Don I did say the avg man and I am lucky enough to be blessed genetically with some of the traits that the picky middle age women are looking for. Now having said that OLD is still frustrating for me at times but not enough for me to give it up.

Perhaps it’s validation that the coach at least gets some things right - don’t text too much, nothing good can come from it.

He does. Again another way a man can't win. He reads books he's a learning game or not sincere. He trusts his instincts and he over pursues and turns a woman off.

He’d have been much better off setting the date and shutting up.

That is exactly what the coach suggests. Less ways of talking a woman out of liking you.

So I was listening to a pod cast and they ask 5 women what are must for a relationship with a man. After polling the women based height, income, build, etc. they ran the numbers and it made up .017 of the population. So that help explains why OLD does not work for the avg person.

[Ginger1]

Well, we all know you see yourself as way above average, LH. You should have your pick of the litter . But we all know you find most women below average. Hmmm. Hard to please a middle aged man it seems

[LH19]

LH, you would hate all of this from a woman, and you know it.

I would hate it. You never hear me complaining I need more of a connection prior to meet-up.

He’s not just a “nice guy” . I know more of what he is doing , because this used to be me.

What is he doing other than what he thinks is the natural thing to do?

And that stupid statistic you love to throw out there with the 120, has nothing to do with middle aged woman being easy to please.

Uuuummm that is exactly what it says. 1 out 120 men are datable to the avg woman.

You aren’t the easiest to please yourself. Your physical aesthetic you need also makes you very difficult to please.

Probably why I am still single. Although I don't complain about it.

Yes, OLD is absolutely soul sucking. My soul has I am afraid has been drained.

Yet here you are OLDing.

I am going through with the date because he took the whole day off for it( I did not know that) but if I’m not interested , I will let him know promptly that I did not feel a connection. And I will as I always do, Offer to pay my half .

You're a good person. Most people would ghost.

[LH19]

Well, we all know you see yourself as way above average, LH. You should have your pick of the litter . But we all know you find most women below average. Hmmm. Hard to please a middle aged man it seems

I am not in the top 0.17 percent.

[LH19]

And he has been divorced one year.

This is another thing you are famous for. Breaking your own set rules. Insanity.

[kml]

Lol 5 women is not a statistically significant sample!

[Ginger1]

And he has been divorced one year.

This is another thing you are famous for. Breaking your own set rules. Insanity.

I didn’t find that out right away. The date was made already.

[LH19]

And he has been divorced one year.

This is another thing you are famous for. Breaking your own set rules. Insanity.

I didn’t find that out right away. The date was made already.

You need a better screening process.