I guess I'm missing the big picture. I don't know why you would you sign a document stating your goal is divorce (when you've said it's not) and limiting your options. Context helps--did she offer you something big, or your attorney reviewed it and deemed it in your best interest, or.. Nice Guy Syndrome?
4/8- do you think you should be more active in the homework? 5 -The important part of the agreement is the parenting time. It looks to be 50/50. Do you think this split is fair?
9 replace "will" with "may" This is how my agreement was stated. During my parenting time, I brought the kids to activities. Mother could show up if she wanted. Reverse during her parenting time.
10. I love this line.
11/12/14- get an odd/even year agreement. This year the way written. Next year the opposite. Clarifying the start and end times (or length) would help.
I would get more opinions on the financial bullet points.
Remember that this is laying the foundation toward a D. The more fair and equal things you can agree on, the less is will cost in legal if paying lawyers.
Amor Fati stockdale paradox
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
The first document was telling the kids. The second document was for us to decide on how we would manage things during the separation and before the divorce.
CW - This is something she came up with so that we had clarity. I believe her move out date is 12/1. This is basically a document that sets the stage for our relationship from that point forward. The fact she put in writing that she will be getting a job was pretty big for me.
I don't like the overall direction, but my feet are kind of being held to the fire, I need to do the best I can do.
Kids 1 made me laugh out loud. If this was the case you wouldn't be getting divorced.
Kids 4 seems ridiculous. Like you can't handle it.
Kids 7 of course she doesn't want the kids to know about the A
Kids 9 does that even have to be in there? Last I checked it's a free country
Communication 1 seems odd to me
Communication 3 seems like too much to me covered in 1
Communication 4 same thing as 3
Finances 3 I would want more detail. Are you paying her mortgage and expenses?
Conflict Resolution 1 this made me lol. We can't come to an agreement so let's go shout at each other at a library lol or get a hotel room and have some hate sex lol.
What also [censored] is since she doesn't work you are paying for her divorce coach. Most of this seems nonsensical to me. I definitely would not sign without having a lawyer look at it.
Not to be a neggy nelly but work 2 means nothing. Just ask Unchen.
I really don’t understand this stuff. It’s 9:50p; she was obviously irritated with me tonight, but never said anything. When the kids went to bed, I said I was going to bed too and I could tell she was just pissed. I don’t know what to do with that. I guess i just ignore it? Normally i would feed into it and try to figure out what was bothering her.
It was either something with my replies to her separation agreement or a joke i made to my son about how he cleans the dishes like his grandpa gordy (her dad) who always did it fast and always had to rewatch them. When I said that to him I noticed her tense up. Anyhow, i just decided to go to bed as opposed to digging into it.
Water off the duck's back. Just let it slide, like the water from the duck's back. No point in engaging her in conversation that will most likely end up in a feud. HeII, even in the best of marriages the W gets pissed from time to time, and poking her is never a good idea.
LH made some excellent points. At any case, do not sign anything without your L taking a look first.
I am not comfortable with your W getting her place and it being paid from a joint account with no cap on it. She just might rent a Beverl hills mansion.
And I say heII no to the passwords and the joint accounts. I have heard too many horror stories about depleted joint accounts. And rest assured your W will be wanting to furnish her new love nest, and it sure as heII won't be second hand furniture. Talk to your L about possible temporary division of funds in the joint accounts. Also the wording "Neither of us will run up unexpected debt or spend more than usual, unless there’s a medical emergency situation." seems too vague for my comfort. REst assured she will interpret it her way. I would move my half of funds to a new account that she would have no access to. Again, NEVER do it without consulting a lawyer first.
I really don’t understand this stuff. It’s 9:50p; she was obviously irritated with me tonight, but never said anything. When the kids went to bed, I said I was going to bed too and I could tell she was just pissed. I don’t know what to do with that. I guess i just ignore it? Normally i would feed into it and try to figure out what was bothering her.
It was either something with my replies to her separation agreement or a joke i made to my son about how he cleans the dishes like his grandpa gordy (her dad) who always did it fast and always had to rewatch them. When I said that to him I noticed her tense up. Anyhow, i just decided to go to bed as opposed to digging into it.
Sounds like you are still trying to figure it out.......
She can have a mood. Who cares? It’s her problem. And hey, might have nothing to do with you. Might have everything to do with you. But either way, it’s not for you to figure out or fix and who really cares?
I really don’t understand this stuff. It’s 9:50p; she was obviously irritated with me tonight, but never said anything. When the kids went to bed, I said I was going to bed too and I could tell she was just pissed. I don’t know what to do with that. I guess i just ignore it? Normally i would feed into it and try to figure out what was bothering her.
It was either something with my replies to her separation agreement or a joke i made to my son about how he cleans the dishes like his grandpa gordy (her dad) who always did it fast and always had to rewatch them. When I said that to him I noticed her tense up. Anyhow, i just decided to go to bed as opposed to digging into it.
Sounds like you are still trying to figure it out.......
She can have a mood. Who cares? It’s her problem. And hey, might have nothing to do with you. Might have everything to do with you. But either way, it’s not for you to figure out or fix and who really cares?
THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
