Her rings have been off for two months. Should I take mine off to make a statement?
Is keeping it on a sign of persuing or hope?
I don't know. Limbo [censored] but its better then getting served papers.
thoughts?
Thx Jimmy
1) DO not do things to make a statement. Anything you do to try to manipulate her will look weak.
2) You are still married. Wear your ring until that changes.
3) Keeping your ring on is in no way pursuit. Taking it off to make a statement is pressure though.
Limbo is the gift of time. Use it wisely...focus on you. GAL, 180s, and work on detachment. Be the best dad you can be. Be a man only a fool would leave.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Her rings have been off for two months. Should I take mine off to make a statement?
Is keeping it on a sign of persuing or hope?
I don't know. Limbo [censored] but its better then getting served papers.
thoughts?
Thx Jimmy
I took mine off when I confirmed PA. Its up to you, but it is a sign of how you feel if you take them off. If you are going to take them off, then make sure that you are doing it for you, not as a statement to her.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
I feel like i've had enough and just want to have my L hire a PI to get to the bottom of everything.
Thoughts?
I'm done wondering
First ask yourself, if she's having an A then will that change your approach towards DB'ing? Is it a deal-killer for you, like you will immediately file for D? Or would you just continue DB'ing to see where things go? If you are going to keep DB'ing anyway then what's the point of knowing. Just assume the worst and move on. That is exactly what I did, I just assumed my XW was in an affair even though I never had solid evidence of it.
I sail, I stand up paddle, surf, take the boys hiking , hang with friends and feel like i'm being played and can't sleep. How much more can I focus on me?
What else should I do to 180? I have not pressured her or talked about anything for 3 months.
Talking w a DB coach tomorrow night. Maybe that will help my head.
I'm not sure if its a deal breaker. I do not like assuming anything. I'm a science teacher and deal with evidence.
I think you missed the point. Focusing on YOU means NOT focusing on her. It isn't a scorecard. "Ok today I focused on me, tomorrow I can focus on her!" Always be focusing on yourself.
But yes, talk to the DB coach. And then decide a course of action.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Last week I asked to switch weekend night bc of work and if I could have the kids Saturday and saturday night and she said no problem.
So this morning I text her we are looking to go to see Aladdin and she is welcome to come Saturday night bc the boys asked if she was coming.
Then she says she was going to take them and some friends to see it bc she loves Aladdin and if I could see another movie and I am taking it away from her and now its the Jimmy way or no way again and thats why we will never reconcile.
I asked her how did she not think I would mind her taking them on a night she already OK'd for me to have them.
There has been no response from her.
Should I let her take the night and have her way with the movie and no Dad or movie with no Mom? Or stand my ground.
Last week I asked to switch weekend night bc of work and if I could have the kids Saturday and saturday night and she said no problem.
So this morning I text her we are looking to go to see Aladdin and she is welcome to come Saturday night bc the boys asked if she was coming.
Then she says she was going to take them and some friends to see it bc she loves Aladdin and if I could see another movie and I am taking it away from her and now its the Jimmy way or no way again and thats why we will never reconcile.
I asked her how did she not think I would mind her taking them on a night she already OK'd for me to have them.
There has been no response from her.
Should I let her take the night and have her way with the movie and no Dad or movie with no Mom? Or stand my ground.
Thoughts?
Stand your ground.
What do you stand to gain by letting her take the night?
