I wrote an email to my Lawyer detailing what had happened and told him I had recorded the whole thing on my watch. He then wrote to my W’s lawyer and today we received a reply which said that my W claimed I was abusive first and that I had refused to let her take any school uniform from the house, and that it was unacceptable that I was recording these interactions with my W. We are in the U.K. and it seems that without the consent of the other person, recordings are inadmissible in U.K. courts- regardless the recording still clearly shows that my W is happy to lie to her L.
I think the exception is that you might be able to use them in a family law court. My L warned W L that we wanted all copies of whatever W had recorded. No copies were given. However, I then recorded a couple. My L seemed fine about it. The judge won't care about school uniforms etc. They just want to know that the kids will be safe and well looked-after by each parent.
It does seem like me sitch is different to many others on this thread. Due to what I perceive to be my W’s issues drinking while on SSRI antidepressants she is totally numbed emotionally. She has been renting a house since mid August and though (without much choice in the matter) I have detached and stopped pursuing her, she hasn’t once (since she went into the psychiatric hospital mid June) asked me how I am, or had any communication with me other than WhatsApp messages about childcare arrangements. After 11 years of marriage and 35 years of knowing each other, I found it so hurtful that she couldn’t even give me a reason for why she was divorcing me.
It is a rollercoaster of emotions, but nearly two months after BD I can definitely say that things are getting easier for me, I’ve reached the point of acceptance, I’m starting to sleep for longer periods without waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety and sadness.
I dropped my two older sons from my first marriage at their universities in the North of England on Saturday and driving home 200 miles was really difficult - W had the younger 2 kids for the weekend and the realisation that I will now be spending two weeks per month completely on my own really hit me hard. From a family of 6 to me on my own is NOT what I signed up for.
I’ve also been explaining to family and friends that I chose to live the rest of my life with two women and without any say in the matter from me, this has been snatched away from me - my first wife died tragically and STBX wife is divorcing me.
I cycled 102 km on Sunday with a good friend I’ve reconnected with, I’ve lost 19kg since BD and am looking and feeling better than I’ve done in over twenty years. On the brief occasions where I take the younger kids to their mum’s house I’ve noticed her looking me up and down - at this point after she’s treated me so meanly I don’t even know if I’d take her back.
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
5am - woken up after a vivid dream about W My W went into the psychiatric hospital three months ago, after three days there she phoned and told me that she no longer wanted to be married and would be speaking to a lawyer We have not had a single rational conversation since then - she hasn’t given me any reason why she is divorcing me After eleven years of marriage she has cut me off like a diseased limb- I’m not seeing something here, surely this isn’t normal? Most people here seem to actually have conversations with their spouses? Something is weird in my sitch - what am i missing here please?
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
Jaylove, when my W left 4 months ago she sent a solicitors letter saying she wasn't going to talk about our MR with me. Since then, any contact has been about the kids. It is brutal to be treated like that by someone you love and have kids with.
Jaylove, plenty of stitched similar to yours. Some have PPOs that restrict their access to their Ws. Others are stonewalled. Then there are those that are separated, those that are in house separation, and those still sleeping in the same bed. It runs the gamut.
Here is the thing. None of that matters. You need to GAL, 180, and detach. That doesn't change. You need to stop focus on her and focus on yourself.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
