So, I drank a half a bottle of wine last night and ALMOST texted BandA$$. But I did not. I just went to sleep. I do keep replaying the scene over in my head. The whole thing is kind of crazy.
A condo came on the market today, actually, the one below the one I was going to rent..... reasonable price, going to look today.
Then, I just looked at my phone and there is a text from HC. "I know this is last minute but I need a drinking buddy at a pub tonight" He wanted to go out and just needed a buddy. Gee, I feel so special. I did reply that I'll be out with the girls in his old stomping grounds.
Juju, you explained it exactly as I experience it. I know that I will not be left jobless, they will relocate me in my system. I just can only handle so much starting over. But I know I'll be employed, so that's plus.
I think I will feel so much better when some of the uncertainty is gone. I need some direction.
About HC and the "drinking buddy" comment: Unfortunately I recognize this. I think you, like me, kinda pride yourself on being able to be " one of the guys". In your case, maybe even drinking like one of the guys. Then we're surprised when guys treat us like one of the guys.
The feminist in me fought against this most of my life but the truth is that if we want to be treated like desirable, valuable women we need to resist the urge to show how tough and "one of the guys" we are. And maybe dial back the drinking.
About HC and the "drinking buddy" comment: Unfortunately I recognize this. I think you, like me, kinda pride yourself on being able to be " one of the guys". In your case, maybe even drinking like one of the guys. Then we're surprised when guys treat us like one of the guys.
The feminist in me fought against this most of my life but the truth is that if we want to be treated like desirable, valuable women we need to resist the urge to show how tough and "one of the guys" we are. And maybe dial back the drinking.
Well, I guess I am one of the guys he wants to sleep with. Which he still wants. I don't. But yeah, I am a pretty solid drinking buddy. I am, at times, seen as "one of the guys". I could dial back the drinking and maybe clean up my potty mouth a little. Probably should cut the locker room talk out too.........
Honestly, I probably would have taken his offer up if I had nothing going on and my other option was my couch and Netflix again. But I would much rather be with my ladies. It's weird, now that I have kind of lost the romantic attraction, I could probably just hang out. I would not sleep with him. That part has actually left the building for me. It doesn't matter anyways, because I have plans. He'll have to go out drinking with himself.
Oh, since he knows the place I am going, I asked him how I should dress. He said it was upscale, so if I was "trying to catch a guy" definitely dress date nice. Nice to slip that one in there.......
Haha - I think he's a little jealous on some level. But not enough to ask you out on a real date.
I like that you weren't available at the drop of a hat. Let's him know if he wants to enjoy your company he should make plans in advance.
Honestly there'd be nothing wrong with sleeping with him EXCEPT you would want more and then feel hurt he wasn't offering it.
(Oh and btw - if you're looking for a guy who'll be in a real relationship with you, no buying tickets to a strip club show, no matter how politically relevant. That definitely put you in "one of the guys" category.)
Mercury has left retrograde. I am hoping this helps me out a bit, and it very possibly could have.
Get ready to 2x4 me. So I went out Friday night and had fun. We didn't stay out long because the weather was awful. We have had unrelenting rains here. Saturday morning I was laying in bed looking at FB as I normally do and I saw a video of a coaster he would love. We chatted a bit about it and that was it. Then later he texted me a pic of him beating a record. A little back and forth and then nothing. Then, later on he asked me if I had plans that night. I told him I had the kiddo. he said he made my favorite drink and had some extra and didn't want it to go to waste. I told him he was welcomed to bring it over after d10 went to bed. I didn't think he would, especially since he leaves for camp today. But he did. Only, D10 didn't fall asleep right away, so I told her my friend was comin over. She wanted to say hi, so I introduced them and she went right back to bed. I told her he is a friend like my male friend she knows. So, we hung out. On my couch. We just talked, shared pictures of eachothers kids, dogs, ect. We went back to where we were. We had a pillow in between us, which eventually moved and he was holding my hand. Everything like it used to be. And yeah, we made out. He left at 5am. We didn't talk about anything that happened between us, we did discuss all that over text already. I honestly don't even know where this leaves us. I am much calmer about it this time, but it's in the back of my head what happened. He knows how I feel and where I stand. But I don't know what this means for us. We chatted a little bit today. I am kind of glad he will be away this week. I guess we can both think about this. He can make the next move.
Onto the other news in my life. My dad and stepmom are here. We went to see a house. Small world, me and the woman who owned the house worked together but didn't figure it out until the end. She worked for the home health/hospice I worked for. Anyways, the house is old, and it has had some pretty shoddy repair work done to it. My dad was like, no way I can have you live there. He told my agent that he will help me have a nicer home. well, we went home and it made think of this other one I wanted to look at that was more money. We went without the agent, he gave us the code because the house was empty. It is not in flood zone and it actually backs D10's best friend's home. It was kind of perfect for us, with some changes. the kitchen was HUGE. My dream. It needs a dishwasher and new counters, but doable. Needs new floors throughout and a paint job. And it's a 3 bedroom, but 2 are side by side and small, so I would knock the wall down that separates them and D10 would have a big room. Not much closets, and I would have to run the laundry hookups in the house, because they are in the basement which you can only get to from outside and that's not happening. With these fixes though, this house would be perfect for us. The location is so good for D10 to take the bus herself and get home. They already moved to FL, so they need to sell. We are going to ask $30k under asking probably given what needs to be done. My dad and stepmom are staying over and are going to meet the agent in the morning and see the house together. I even met the neighbor who gave some inside info.
I hope this is the one. I hope things are turning around a bit.
Any advice on how to handle this thing with band guy is welcomed. I don't want to become an idiot who ends up in the same place again, I also don't want to play games. I felt like something wasn't done with us, and I guess I was right. But part of me wonders if she just misses having company or he actually missed me. When we are together we really are awesome together. He was right about that. It's natural and really nice.
G......I think you need to decide if you want to pursue him or not. He went dark on you, NC, and you moved closer. Now, he probably didn't do it intentionally but it had a desired effect. It kind of stinks that you are already having to think this way after only knowing him a short period of time.
My inclination is to say let him pursue you.
Well you would have never met BA right? Yes......it could have been miserable!
Aw, crap! He pulled the distancing on me! Ugh, it did work! I was oblivious to it.
Hmmmm. Now this is interesting. I do think he is distancing again. but I am not biting. He knows where to find me, knows where I stand. But he is away in Bumf@ck PA which is good.
although thinking this over..... So, I left my undies at his house that night. Couldn't find them in the moment and he offered to drop them off to me, and I told him I have plenty, just toss them. He never did. He washed them and brought them to me. I think he kind of knew he was going to see me again.
There is a long story behind this, but the day after it all happened when he broke a record by doing something 21 times. . We laugh because we had our first date on what we like to call his 2nd 21st birthday. And we refer to it as new beginnings and talk about it. He said that's why he chose the number.
I don't know what the deal is, but he is going to have to pursue me now. But I think he might have been playing the going dark NC thing with me, you are right. beat at my own game..... Ugh.
I am putting an offer in on my house. Fingers crossed!
G - Woman are natural pursuers........I just think if it is meant to be it is meant to be. Unless the dude is fuching stupid he knows you are into him. IMO the ball is in his court.
Huh? I Guess I could just say pretty much all blanket statements can't be backed up but, I'll still ask, just what do you base this on? Why do you say women are natural pursuers? I mean just going with evolution, it is the men that hunt and gather - and yes also often pursue. This millennial generation I guess it could be argued has many more women pursue than men but otherwise, it's far more common for men to pursue women than the reverse. Just look at your own life recently, it's YOU perusing women not the other way around but still, I'm interested to hear your basis for this statement.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
