J, really, your direction isn't any different than it was before. Just keep moving forward with your own life. That's all you can do. You are coparents.
I can see so much of me in you. You desperately want to keep doing the "right" thing and make sure you are the good guy. Because something doesn't make someone else happy or it isn't the way want it to be, it doesn't make you a bad guy. It makes you true to yourself and others. You are a good example without being your exW's safety net.
I am guilty of the same all too often. I fear not doing the right thing BY OTHERS all the time. What may not be right for others is right for me. It's hard to grasp onto I have the female version of NGS.
Ginger1 just wanted to say THANK YOU! Happened to see your words for J and they ring true for me as well. I needed to that. "To thine own self be true"
Thanks N.....I just need to process this anger. This is not as bad as BD but worse than standing in front of the judge. I think it would have been better if she approached me 6 months from now. Her timing was awful but obviously true to where she is at.
G - I am sure she will feel me pull away even more and engage less. I guess that is a by-product of all this and I would expect her to do the same. Or maybe she won't and she'll test me but don't tell me how attracted you are to him, that you have met his kids, and family then expect me to have a party. I guess the $hit is getting real now. I saw her true colors and who she is.
At least I didn't pour my soul out to her and get all emotional man I would have felt like such a chump.
I know getting angry at her, sending her some nasty email is not going to work or be helpful because truthfully she doesn't give a crap but it just feels so icky.
You are accurate I did it because it felt like the right thing to do but now doing nothing for her feels like the right thing to do.
I guess I just need to keep the big picture in mind and not make things worse.
Ok.....I feel better, I know I just have to let it go and keep moving on my path. It is what it is and hopefully this is the last major thing I have to deal with in this sitch. It was bound to happen some time, it would be stupid of me to think that she would never introduce another man to my girls. The timing of it all though is not cool and I still hope karma comes and bites her
I can't let this detour me off of my journey though.
On another note I have been texting with a girl who liked me on Match. We have been texting 1 or 2 messages a day since last Thursday and she hasn't flaked out yet (we seem to have a lot in common). She still has not offered up her phone number yet but hopefully it will happen soon. I don't have my girls next week so it would be nice to be able to meet up with her. My EW is a teacher and come to find out this one is as well.....crazy. The cool thing is that she teaches grades 2-4 which is where my D's are at. She is 47 (a little older than I had originally thought I would meet but I will be 45 next month), no kids, and has never been married.
Lifting weights can do the trick man! I am glad you were able to do that and just process out some of the immediate anger and sadness. I know this will take some time. Great to hear about the texting with the new lady. Keep us posted on that.
Regret and self-doubt will come for her. I've been watching some cool stuff on youtube on the Impact Theory channel. Some really awesome people sharing insights about life and challenges. Check it out if you haven't.
With how this was handled by her, I totally understand that the door to recon is now done for you. It's just too much to get through at this point. yeh, pull back and just do your thing and engage as coparents. This does change everything and your perception of her, and hopefully that will be the final piece of your healing journey.
As Vanilla says - it's the LBS who decides when it's over. It feels so true now.
M - I will def check it out. Life is such a brutal teacher. I feel better but it still hurts, the pain is real. I just feel numb. I hope she gets everything she has coming to her. After listening to how she spoke about him and knowing how far she is gone. She doesn t deserve me, and this journey is hers.
I hate it for my girls, that stirs my emotions and the anger for her.
Having complete clarity is a painful blessing. And she walks around so happy
Last edited by Cadet; 06/11/1811:40 AM. Reason: restored post
Hey L.....thanks and I agree with you 100%. I always knew that this day would come, I just didn't expect it. I actually thought that she might be moving closer to me but it just goes to show you that everything we talk about here is so true and accurate.
Not gonna lie...it stung, still stings but I just have to keep moving forward.
Not sure why he didn't help her, it is clear that they have been dating for quite some time. If I had to guess probably 6 months at minimum. I bet she was playing both sides of the fence to get what she wanted and then firmed it up with him once she got out of me what she needed.
I regret moving her for her but I don't regret doing it for my girls and that they saw me doing it. To me that is more important and I am really glad that I didn't pursue her with R talks or make advances at her. I would have really felt stupid then.
This morning was kind of rough, I played basketball so that helped but it is just an unexplainable feeling. How someone you loved, shared children with, etc. could be so far gone and act like they don't even know you. Mind boggling.
