I do believe we are cut from the same cloth! I feel the same exact way. I feel the "give-in's" in life are impossible for me to accomplish. it's not that I don't have great things, but things that come so effortlessly to others I feel like are impossible. I have been told "my time is coming" for about 10 years now, and I am losing some hope. I just want a simple love and partnership. Not too much. I also feel like I am a good catch. I feel like I have a lot to offer. I may be divorced with a child, not a hottie, but I can handle myself, and I am fun and loving. I feel like if I become more difficult and demanding I might have better luck!
Well, I put an offer on the house. D10 came with me and when we walked in the house she said "I've been here before!" It's her BFF's mother's cousins house. One day she was going home with BFF and they got locked out of the house so her cousin came and brought them back to their house and that was them! Sadly, they were engaged and broke up, so they are selling the house. It is also right next door to her classmate and up the street from my friend's house. Also 2 streets over from my current house.
It is a small house. There is no storage or closets really, but the bedrooms work, the living room is big, all hard wood, nice refishished woodburning fireplace. and an entertaining finished basement with a custom-made bar. The yard is so nice and there a really nice deck.the eat in kitchen is beautiful and a great size. D10 was completely in love with it. It is perfect for us. I gave an offer that was 20K below asking. I believe they were asking high. The plus side is there are no other offers and it the market for the smaller house isn't so big. The down size is resale might be difficult because of the size.
My dad is freaking out that it is a private home and not a condo, but really, this home is great for us. My worry is downsizing. My rental house is big with a garage, large walk in pantry, a bunch of big closets and a huge storage area. So I would have to get rid of a lot of stuff and live minimally.
Let's keep our fingers crossed. Because my landlord called today and said he has given the realtor my number because my house is listed and they are showing.
I hope that they will accept your offer very soon. Your description of the home sounds like it would be a perfect for you and your daughter.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks. I just found out from D10 that her BFF said they are only taking full price on the house, and the house is not worth full price. I knew not to get my hopes up too much. Maybe their agent will advise them otherwise.
Thanks. I just found out from D10 that her BFF said they are only taking full price on the house, and the house is not worth full price. I knew not to get my hopes up too much. Maybe their agent will advise them otherwise.
I am so mentally exhausted.
DB101 applies here, patience.
They are accepting full offers right now, lets see what happens if they do not get it.
... they are only taking full price on the house, and the house is not worth full price.
I think Dawn knows a guy that can help tune up the current owner so as to come to an understanding of what full price actually means. Know what I'm sayin'?
Patience, unfortunately, is no longer a virtue of mine, when it once was.
I am high on the anxiety. So many unknowns right now, they are keeping me up at night.
I spoke to my realtor and while they haven't rejected my offer, they are expecting more to come in. So, either, more comes in and mine is better and they get a dose of reality, or no more come in, OR, someone bids higher. The waiting game is awful. so is knowing that my current house is going to be shown. Really, I am going to keep it a mess so no one jumps on buying it. Awful, I know.
I just need to go to the gym tonight and blow off some steam. Either way, I need to start the big purge on my home, because I am moving somewhere, although I don't know where, and it will 99.9% be smaller than the one I currently live in.
Let me take this opportunity to boost your anxiety another notch or two or three...
Looking into doodler's crystal ball, I can see that your offer on the house will be accepted and and you're about to close on the house. Then, the day after closing, out of the blue, you get a call from someone offering you a wonderful job opportunity, with a good salary and plenty of advancement opportunities. And, even better, it's in a geographic location that's enticing; it's a place you'd dreamed of living. However, they need someone to fill the position right away. Unfortunately, now you're a home owner and you don't think you can sell the house quickly enough to be able to accept the offer and you won't be able to cover mortgage payments if the house remains unsold, or not rented, for any length of time.
The point I'm trying to make is that life is full of quirky twists and turns. You probably have a lot more flexibility in where you live and work than you think you do. Maybe you're putting too many constraints on yourself.
True doodler story: About 25 years ago I was working in a job I didn't really like. I decided to call the recruiter of a company that had offered me a job in the past, but I turned it down because I didn't get the salary I wanted. When I called the recruiter, not only was I offered a better salary, but I'd have to move to Chicago where they'd pay my rent and utilities as well as providing me with a per diem to cover basic expenses. And, they would pay for me to fly out of Chicago, to any place I wanted to go in the U.S., every other weekend (I got to keep the frequent flier miles as well). And, my apartment was downtown, right on the lake, with a view of the city from the 22nd floor. Holy sh*t!
Sometimes really cool stuff happens...you never know.
I do not have all these awesome options. My job is what it is, I like it and I am staying put. I cannot move my daughter to a cheaper town farther from her father where he will drop his weekday. We can sit here all day and I say these are viable options, but they are not without big consequence. I am not a single woman with no attachments. I am living in the constraints of a divorce agreement and what is right for my D. My decisions have great impact on my daughter. If by doing what is truly right for my daughter, then you can say I putting constraints on myself.
It blows, ok. It truly blows to have these constraints. I wish the world was my oyster, but truly it is not.
I am stuck in a sucky position right now and I have to make my decisions according that position.
If I had the choice where other lives wouldn't be affected, I would have picked up and moved a long time ago.
I turned down an opportunity to have a great great job that included travel when my daughter was 3. No one to help. ExH had no willingness to be flexible. We make the choices based on our circumstances and mine are awfully constraining. By her father, by what's right for her, and by money.
It is what it is. It isn't victim talking. I have to deal with it. But honestly it irritates the crap out of me when people who aren't in my shoes think I have all these great choices.
((((HUGS)))) Ginger, you can do this. There are a lot of emotions that come with buying a home, you seem very nervous, excited and scared, I feel that way for you too.
Before buying my house, I was completely free of anything tying me down, I had the feeling that I could move anywhere I wanted on a whim and I loved that. But I also know that moving all the time (even within the same city) limited my ability to grow roots. I don't have family in the area, but I wanted some since of permanency, get to know neighbors, have a place that any upgrades I did benefited me, etc.
One thing that helped me calm down was having my realtor do a rent analysis prior to buying the house, I wanted to make sure that if I did decide to move that I would at least have the ability to rent my house for more than I would be paying. It allowed me to leave that door of freedom to go anywhere cracked instead of having to completely shut it, just knowing I can do that makes me still have a feeling of freedom.
For what it's worth, I offered 6% less than asking, and they countered with 1k more when I bought my house. They also ended up giving me about 8k back for repairs/upgrades (AC, foundation work, septic work, etc.). I have a feeling with the housing prices in your area, your probably not to far from that 6% less than asking.
If you can afford the house without it eating up your budget, then try and be excited at the possibility of them accepting it, plan ahead and figure out the max you are willing to pay in case they counter, and don't over stretch just to win any bidding war. This house seems to have things you really like, but it's also missing things you want/need, if your not able to get this one, you may find one with more check marks in the wants/needs column. Try not to put all your hopes in dreams in one house.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
