I am just amazed at your fortitude LH - you being able to DB and just move on with life with your W basically still in your life like an-almost-wife, with the extracurricular activities to boot. I don't know how you did it man.
Not sure how I am going to feel when D comes around, but for some reason today I really felt like I wanted it to be over with. This D kinda needs to happen now because I am in a place where I need that as a last step to the MR chapter and I can continue on my path towards healing.
Trying to get a little better every day as well. Kids went with W today and they were excited about it, which made me happy as I never want them to think they have to side with either parent.
I am a bit behind some of my goals and I've realized that I am not putting my full 100% because I am afraid of failure. Part of it is also I am not believing in myself fully. So, that's my thing I am tackling right now and figuring out how to give everything to my work, personal goals, and just not worry about failure. Also looking at failure as a good thing because it is a learning experience.
However, I am not beating myself over the head about being behind my goals - more self compassion than I had before. But I am also thinking of all the goals that I have had amazing progress on to balance out what I haven't fully achieved yet. So, that's a victory too - having a positive mindset and getting up after falling down.
OK goals.
Let's reframe this.
There is a next step to goals and that's review.
Resisting doing something on a goal has meaning. It is important.
1. It shouldn't be on there and it doesn't fit now (even if it was great) drop it as a goal
2. It is not for now but for later. Shelve it and review next time.
3. You are Resisting the goal, you can do but aren't. If the item is anot essential then this has to explored. Why don't you want to do it? What is getting in the way? Is it resolvable? Is there a part you can do are not Resisting.
4. The goal is too big. Break it down into smaller doable steps.
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OK some examples from my own goals
1. I desperately wanted to get fit, I added walking to my goals including a meet up walking club. I am very fair and I have a neuroma in my left foot. I dropped this goal and replaced it with spinning.
2. I want to learn Portuguese but am currently studying law, so I deferred this goal.
3. I want to lose weight. I lost a lot then lost motivation. Why? The extra weight was serving as a barrier to a new R, so it was doing something positive for me. Once I faced that I set myself a smaller goal of losing smaller amounts and I know I can stop at any time. It's slower but I am moving to my goal.
4. My business was in very bad shape after the G left. Four years on its floating but not thriving yet. It will be rebounded. So moving to surviving, floating (profit), and then onwards to thriving has had to be done in smaller chunks.
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Hope that helps.
I review my annual goals on my birthday, some goals are now just ticking over, such as clearing the junk and repairs. Next will be improving.
V
Last edited by Cadet; 05/14/1812:55 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
