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OrangeK Offline OP
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I dont want her return, just some accountability.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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I can't post much in the next week or so as I have a law exam on the 14 May, but I am thinking about your question Orange.

It's a deep one so I want to marinade.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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OK, let it out. this is what I meant the other day wh i said let the emotions flow. you're grieving and it's a process. You married a spoiled child that mommy jumps and rescues when the spoiled child says "I can't deal with it, I don't want to face that!"

The truth will be known some day. Take solace in that. The truth has a way of always being revealed. In the meantime leery yourself grieve. It's the only way to come through to the other side.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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I had a good night last night reconnecting with some old friends at a bonfire. I have a great tribe. more time with friends plans today for a rainy day gaming session as well as some well-needed time off with my son. currently sitting in the parking lot waiting for mother-in-law to show up with my son which for whatever reason still gets me all nervous feeling


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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Posts: 9,829
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Great continue to keep busy. The best way to try to keep your mind from dwelling.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Stay strong Orange. Take care of your son.

(((Orange)))


WW H(me): 55
W: 50
S: 20
T: 31 M: 25

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OrangeK Offline OP
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for some reason this morning I am very tempted to send my wife the letter I had posted previously in my thread. I will repost it in a little bit I'd like to hear some opinions. I have a feeling I know what people are going to tell me, not to send it. But I just want some second opinions


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,829
Likes: 240
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Yes, you are right. I will vote "do not send".

Let me ask you a question, do you think it will help or hinder your goal? In fact, you've stated you don't want her back, so why would you send her the letter?


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DO NOT SEND THE LETTER.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Originally Posted By: Steve85

Let me ask you a question, do you think it will help or hinder your goal? In fact, you've stated you don't want her back, so why would you send her the letter?


Help or Hinder? - Steve, i honestly don't know. My gut tells me hinder but I've been dwelling a lot on how i feel her situation with OM is simply to save face, she madea dumb rash decision and basically now i feel like she feels stuck where she is at because the whole affair got blow into the public eye and shes just sticking to her guns to save face. On the other hand she had been "dating" him, EA for a long time before i found out too.
There are so many opposing behaviors. I dont get it.
Everything about our M seemed exactly what she had always wanted. Her situation with OM is exactly what she always avoided.
Everything she had done is contradictory to the person i thought i knew intimately.
I cant shake this feeling that there is a part of her that is so ashamed about what she did and heartbroken that its all gone, but at same time she has show behaviors that only display the opposite of that.

"In fact, you've stated you don't want her back, so why would you send her the letter?"


I do want her back, i want the woman i married back, not this monster that has taken her place.
I want my family back. Not this.
I never wanted to share parenting.
I never wanted separate houses.

I want the woman i knew back, not whoever this is. it isnt her.
this isnt the woman i know and love.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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