Advice on my Scenario Pt.4

[OrangeK]

You have no control over WW or any reactions she has, or her mother.

I dont feel like i said or implied i wanted control over their reactions? i just want them both to act like responsible adults.
They are both making something that should be simple overly complicated.

And your statement that she is hiding is inconsistent with you wanting NC.

Again, I will POLITELY disagree.
Just because I am identifying a behavior pattern doesn't mean i want her to change it or expect something different. She can hide all she'd like. Makes my life easier.

[OrangeK]

If you really want grey rock then no emails.

I havent emailed her. Dont plan on it. That would just be pointless.

It's far too soon to knee jerk your reaction and demand schedule changes.

Im not demanding anything. Anything i request will be denied. I am letting the court decide schedules.

Go GAL relax and give yourself time.

That is exactly may Plan V.

[OrangeK]

Ok WTF. I thought this was over. Massive wave of emotions. I weas riding such a high after yesterday, and that didnt even go well for me. I felt liberated for a solid 24 hours. then Bam, bummed out again.

uhg.

[OrangeK]

Injustice and frustration, not attachment or missing her.

[SteveLW]

OK it isn't called a rollercoaster for nothng. And even in your high you still seemed angry. You won't truly be over her until you feel apathy towards her. Don't rush it. Let yourself work through the emotions and try to stay busy. Even during down time at the firehouse.

[Vanilla]

Ok WTF. I thought this was over. Massive wave of emotions. I weas riding such a high after yesterday, and that didnt even go well for me. I felt liberated for a solid 24 hours. then Bam, bummed out again.

uhg.

Adrenalin rush is over. Now Cortisol!

V

[Newly20]

Ok WTF. I thought this was over. Massive wave of emotions. I weas riding such a high after yesterday, and that didnt even go well for me. I felt liberated for a solid 24 hours. then Bam, bummed out again.

uhg.

I'm way earlier in my sitch than you and I get the same feelings. You go feeling awesome for sometime and then out of the blue a huge depression hits. I have not been able to pin point it to anything other than i have a long ways to go in detaching. Keep at GAL and just trying to do anything that will leave you at a stand still, do not give your mind any free time to wander. Chin up O

[OrangeK]

Feeling the weight of all of it today. Not JUST my sitch.
Feeling pretty trapped. I have nothing to look forward to.
I havent had a "Good day" since perhaps my wedding / honeymoon, and now I know that was all fake anyway. Nothing has gone the right way in my life at all, my entire adult life.
I hate to sound like the disparaging drama queen but its the simple truth.
I am broke, my roommate wants me to move out, i have nowehere to move out to, except my brothers TINY TINY house.
I have been stagnant with my financials for years.
I am currently just making enough to pay people i borrow from back each week.
My son has been disobedient, aggressive and violent, argumentative, and flat out rejects my attention or affection. He deliberatly looks away, avoids my eye contact, wont answer ANYTHING i ask him and tells me No, and finds it amusing to defy and harrass me. His mother has brainwashed him to hate me.
If my car broke, id be screwed.
If i had a medical problem, screwed.

I dont have any fight left.
I seriously, SERIOUSLY considered on my drive to work today, that it might be in EVERYONES best interest if i were to just request minimal or no visitation, and leave the area once D was complete.
I feel like i need a new life.
this one was an utter failure, in all regards.

The temptation to flee is huge right now.

Im heartbroken, weary, beaten and defeated, destitute and substantially dissatisfied with every avenue of my life.

Bugging off into the woods for a few years seems altogether more satisfying.

[ruhappy]

[Vanilla]

These thoughts are absolutely completely on cue. NORMAL.

At this stage in my sitch I wanted to die, and seriouslyrics thought about it. I went to bed whilst my world fell about my ears, I was on the verge on bankruptcy. Went to bed for 6 weeks, no sheet changes, in the smallest darkest room in my house. I missed work deadlines, no one got paid. Awful awful awful soul seering pain, my life was over.

Then it got worse, the G started suing me demanding money. I came to the seaside sat in a cafe and posted here. It was despair.

The trouble is we see our lives through the lens of our trauma. We think it will never change. This is it for life. DUH! Every bad thinking process, catastrophic thinking, black and white, over emotional thinking, confusing thoughto and feelings....

To be clear, this reaction is normal and absolutely on cue. I can almost set my watch on when it will happen after the trauma you have been through. Oh yes, here it comes. Poster after poster and always the same.

You are not a failure, your life isn't done, it's a set back which if you grow through it will never happen again. Ever. You were a target and it really hurts. And I am not going to lie to you, there will be a part which will seem broken for a very long time. But it does lessen.

A set back, but also a growth opportunity. A challenge.

You have one very big important thing in your life to be a dad to S3. No one can do that job but you.

The housing sitch is temporary. The cash issue is temporary. The love of a dad for an S3 is bigger than all of that.

I Internet promise it gets better and better. This is the worst it could be. And you did terrifically well on Thursday last to get yourself through the court system with the result you did.

Hugs

V