Don’t let it confuse you. It is to make sure you are still around to be plan B. Remember actions speak louder then words. What does her filing for D say to you. Don’t respond to any texts that are not kid or financial related.
It’s confusing and you can’t understand it. My w filed for D and is having a PA and doesn’t understand why we can’t be friends With benefits! No, thank you. You can be friendly but you don’t have to be friends.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Does anyone understand why the WW still wants to make small talk in texts? If you want to get a D, why keep bothering the LBS? Attention? I'm not understanding and it's confusing to me.
There are ways about women that men will never understand........and the ways of a WW are even more complicated. There is no logic to it and you'll go nuts trying to figure her out. The best way for you is to accept it is probably opposite of whatever you think it is.
She doesn't want to be your W, but she wants some level of connection with you. Not in a romantic/sexual sense, but sort of like an ownership of you. I think 98% of the cases I have read, the WW wants to maintain some type of "friendship" with the H she dumped. However, there is a vital difference in his definition of their friendship......and hers. He thinks their friendship will gradually lead back to a romantic relationship. But she is a user.....a taker.....and she will use him and take advantage, and if he tries to step back or refuse, she claim, "But you said you wanted to be friends". So, it's a no win situation.
What you can do is be civil. Perhaps there will be times you can even show a small level of friendly behavior.......the way you would toward a neighbor that you don't really care to become best buds. Know what I mean? You speak, or wave.......and keep moving.
I wouldn't give her any in depth speech about why. Just say, "Thanks, but no thanks". I mean.........friends? seriously??
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks Sandi. I know she is not the same person I married. It is very apparent. This situation is close to MLC status, if not exactly that.
I left for the weekend with my son and stayed at a friend's house. I'm going back to the marital home Sunday night. She TMed me in the middle of the night last saying I abandoned her. What the heck?
That kind of reaction gives me hope that there is still a connection that I can draw upon to save the M but thanks to Sandi I can see this is false hope. So, thanks again Sandi.
I'm planing my D now. I haven't been served the D papers yet but it's coming. I just have to move on.
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018
I cant remember who told me this. It was either AS or TXHubby.
The WW has three options.
Option A. Leave H and go be with OM Option B. Leave OM and go back to H Or Option C. Try her hardest to keep both in her life.
Option A & B hurts her and another person. And makes her make a really hard decision. Option C hurts the least amount. She's gets the best of both worlds and she also gets time to find reason and time to come up with valid excuses for choosing whatever decision she tries to go with.
Well you can impact option A & B by taking those options away from her. Forcing to decide on Only option A. When she sees her options go from 3 to 1 reality hits like a ton of bricks.
She keeps texting you to see if you are still a option. Keep your responses one or two words unless answering a question about the kids. She has to feel you as an option pulling away. If you are giving her 80 percent and she's left to deal with OM who's only giving 20 percent then fantasy starts to fade.
When I saw this I had a ah ha moment.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
Thanks for giving me hope and more understanding, JoeJoe. I'm in divorce strategy mode right now. I'm accepting the situation and just awaiting the papers.
I'm moving on. If she wants to stop me she can quit this foolishness and we can come to an agreement.
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018
She has gotten a new job, changed her look, changed her attitude about our family, is focused only on herself, become a different person, she is out partying at night and leaving me with her son, she is acting like she's single again.
Maybe it's not a MLC but I thought maybe it was.
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018
She has gotten a new job, changed her look, changed her attitude about our family, is focused only on herself, become a different person, she is out partying at night and leaving me with her son, she is acting like she's single again.
Maybe it's not a MLC but I thought maybe it was.
I wouldn't focus too much on whether is MLC or WW at this point (sounds WW too me by the way and very familar). Just DB your lil heart out.
Ok, understood. I'm not going to waste anymore time trying to understand this. I'll just focus on moving forward with the divorce and becoming a better me.
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018
