Looking for help from a Female MLC'er

[NDY]

Hi mate. I’ve been expecting this post so here’s my tuppence worth.

The other posters have already said what they think you should be doing. I don’t have anything else to add to that and I believe you already know these things. It’s just a matter of choosing to do them.

I've reached a crossroads, and I'm looking for an insight in to a Female/Woman/Lady/Girl who has been through MLC, come out the other side, and survived to give me some vital clues.

Clues? Clues to what? That she’s coming out the other side? No mate, the only clue you need to know is she’s gone and having a life without you. Is that life better? Who knows. But that’s not the point. You’re focusing on her not you.

I have gone snooping. It's easy, as my W can't handle a computer or cloud storage properly, so she doesn't know what she's doing.

Pain shopping man. It doesn’t do you any good. And you’re spending your energy on her and not you. Leave that be.

So, I'm asking for help from the gentler sex as to what this means?

Gender has nothing to do with this. What this means is that you are still focusing on her and not you. Don’t you see there isn’t a magic cure, she’s not suffering from the common cold. Take two paracetamols and cure your MLC? You are looking for signs and clues. They are already there mate they just aren’t giving you the message that you want to hear. She’s done mate. If (and it’s a VERY big if) she decides to come back then deal with that situation should it arise.

but I can't keep going on

AMEN. You’re seeing the path for yourself. You can’t continue like this. It’s been nearly 3 years now. Look how far we have come in that time. Think about that and how strong you’ve been throughout all of this even in the most adverse times.

I wonder if this is some kind of stage of depression/acceptance,

Ask yourself this. What good would knowing the answer to this do? If you think about it none. This doesn’t evolve so that once she’s been through the ‘stages’ she suddenly returns to her former self and everything goes back to the way it was. Remember the mantra from the early days is still true now as it was then. Their motivation is in her actions. What do her actions tell you? The only thing you need to think about is she’s in no way interested or you would know about it. That may change over time but right now it’s not happening.

I'm really happy for him, but, it does make me realise I'm getting left behind on the life trail.

You just need a shot in the arm mate. You’re looking for a definitive ‘yes’ or ‘no’ from her but dude, she’s already told you ‘no’.

but it's pointless waiting if there is nothing to wait for

And this is the point. You are waiting. You got the message from her nearly 3 years ago. Time to hear Jimmy sing. Go live for yourself mate. Let her go.

Peace