Fighting my way out of the dark Part 5

[doodler]

When MIL walked in, I could feel the tension - she did not hug or kiss me hello like she's always done.

Holding,

I think unwritten rule #39 is, "Hit on your MIL if she's staying in your house." I think the reasoning for doing that is it takes everyone's mind off the marital troubles and offers a distraction (even if unpleasant).

[TBSakaJ9]

H...it sounds like a miserable experience with your MIL staying with you especially as you are going through this. I hated it when my MIL came to town, she always came for a week and was worthless the entire time she was there. Slept all day and stayed up all night renting pay per view movies on my dime. I think I would spending a lot of time by myself On a serious note be confident and don't make them feel like you are a guest in your home. F that.

I like the Fonz analogy...be cool, nothing bothers H because he is confident and the man!

Oh and if she is hot....follow rule #39.

[Holding]

You guys crack me up! I literally LOL'ed while eating lunch out. It's a shame most of us will never be able to meet up in person or connect outside of this forum. (I'd love to know why PM's were disabled. It seems they used to be available here.)

J9, yes, "miserable experience" sums it up well, but I'm used to that by now. I'm actually concerned that STBXW and MIL might decide that they want the MBR, and come home one day to find that they've moved all my stuff out. In that case, I'll have to move into STBXW's current room, with the $2000 new mattress she bought for herself. (On second thought, I couldn't do that. She's got this stinky @$$ perfume that she sprays in there incessantly. It smells like the bordello at an old folks home.)

[LH19]

Holding,

I saw on Tate's thread you asked him why he wants to save his marriage.

Your Ws are similar so I am going to ask you the same question.

[Holding]

LH, fair question.

As of a week ago, I don't want to save my M any more. Are you seeing something that makes you think I'm still trying at this point?

The ugly side of my STBXW is simply abhorrent. And even if I could get my old W back, I don't think I'd be able to slip back into that old R, having learned so much about my NGS tendencies.

[LH19]

You posted the following on 10/26/2017:

I've been thinking about things a lot lately, especially whether the MR is worth saving.

Not judging just wondering if things look a lot different when your looking at someone else situation.

[Holding]

True. I posted this later in the same paragraph:

I've come to realize this M is not a healthy place for me to be. STBXW is not a person I can continue this journey with. I need to move on with my life.

Looking at others' sitches can be enlightening. But I would never dare poke someone else with a stick I hadn't already poked myself with

[Holding]

I met with my IC last night. I hadn't seen her in 2 weeks, so I had to fill her in on everything that's happened (wife's rage and manipulation, me finally realizing it's over and accepting it).

In the middle of one of my stories, IC said "She's being so emotionally manipulative, like using every trick in the book. How do you hold it together?" I took this as a compliment, and it helped me feel validated for how strong I've been in standing up to her. Y'all put me through the ringer here (which I appreciate), but I do think I'm doing a good job.

Last night STBXW came home from her knee surgery. She was on crutches and a little loopy from her meds. I actually felt bad for her. I asked her how her operation was. She said it went ok, but she'll never be able to run again (she'd wanted to do a triathlon). I frowned when she said this and felt sorry for her. I guess I could've verbally sympathized, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It's nice to know I can still feel some degree of sympathy for her though.

I looked at her sitting on the sofa, with her leg up, and her mom tending to her. They discussed how she needs to get a friend to help watch her in a few days after MIL leaves. This is the life she wants.

[doodler]

Last night STBXW came home from her knee surgery.

Holding,

You see, our wives are alike. My wife had major neck surgery shortly before our separation.

I was at the hospital before her surgery and after her surgery. When her parents arrived, I went home to tend to the boys. When I went back to the hospital, the OM was in her room talking to her parents (her parents thought he was "just" a friend). As soon as I saw the OM, I went home.

My wife's parents brought her home later that day. When she got home she requested that she sleep in the MBR and she wanted me to sleep on the couch. (She was sleeping in the guest room, but her parents where staying in the guest room.) I told her she wasn't sleeping in the MBR regardless of her recent surgery. (I was in f*ck you mode.) The next day I told her she had seven days to get out of the house. She pushed-back because of her neck. I had no sympathy; she was out of the house eight days later. I was a b@srtard, but the OM appearing at the hospital was ridiculously outrageous.

[Tread]

Doodler,

You did the right thing. OM being there showed just how little respect she had for you. And still demanded you leave the MBR. OM never offered her a place to stay to watch over her. Did you tell her parents who OM really waa?