Yeah I have the same issue - going out doing things by myself in group type GAL situations. I go to movies by myself, which I actually really like. But getting outside of your comfort zone is important and I am trying to find things to do that will allow for that.
Is there a wine club in your town? Just had a new wine bar open up in my town and I am going to go check it out in the next few weeks.
I want to pass along another thing I learned on my journey. I keep a gratitude journal that I try to write in everyday. I have so many things in my life to feel grateful for right now.
I also learned from Tony Robbins that when you're feeling grateful, you can't also be feeling depressed, sad, angry etc. at the same time. It's impossible.
M.....I don't know of any wine clubs but we have had a couple micro-brew type bars that have opened up which just serve beer. I have some buddies that I can meet up there, one of which is D'd from one of my W's friends that she just so happens to be going out of town with this weekend
I am going sign my D's and I up for a cooking class at the same place I was thinking about trying out for myself. they have different classes in October with Halloween themes. When I am there I could ask them about the adult classes and if any random, creepy single guys ever just go by themselves
LH - I like that idea, helps keep things in perspective. I started writing down ideas and thoughts for my next relationship but have not started journaling about my own happiness and what that looks like. I am sure once you started you realized you have a lot of things in your life to be grateful for. I think we generally focus on what we don't have vs what we do have. Like a retreat cottage on the beach or the W that just left us who probably won't return.
I did listen to some Tony Robbins stuff early on but more recently have been reading more. I like to mix it up so I need to gravitate back to the videos and podcasts as well.
I have my next IC appointment this afternoon and plan on spending more time talking about me than my W since nothing has changed on that front.
Well a hot beach comber 14 yrs my junior would be preferred who finds me intellectually stimulating
It happens. My GF is less than half my age, has blonde/ red/ purple hair, lots of tatts, blue eyes, a mouth-watering figure and is the sweetest thing you can imagine. She's also super sexy and quite pretty. For reasons I can't explain she thinks I'm some kind of Adonis. I don't try to convince her otherwise She lavishes so much attention on me it's crazy. We've been together almost 3 years now and our relationship is still like we're in limerence. OK yes I may be indulging in some humble-bragging but seriously, I just wish everyone would take away from my sitch that even if you never recon with your W that doesn't mean you're not destined for an even BETTER, MORE FULFILLING, TOE CURLING MIND-BLOWING relationship! Even if you're an old guy like me I do credit DB'ing for it. I don't think my GF would have given me a 2nd look at the man I was when I was married. But I embraced DB'ing and made myself into the "spouse only a fool would leave". Fit, good-looking, well-dressed, confident, successful. My W still left so yes, she was a fool, but a much smarter woman stepped in and took advantage of the opportunity
But getting outside of your comfort zone is important and I am trying to find things to do that will allow for that.
I highly recommend to anyone going through this that you join a Crossfit box. Books like No More Mister Nice Guy talk about the importance of guys establishing friendships with other guys, well let me tell you, you will never meet more manly men than those in your xfit box, LOL! And there are as many women in xfit these days as men. The environment is such that you can't help but get to know the other people, and you become really close with many of them. Most boxes host parties and mixers and stuff too, so there's opportunities to mingle with the people outside of workouts. It's a great way to get in shape AND meet new people of both sexes! And there's no reason to be intimidated, xfit caters to people of all shapes, sizes, ages and fitness levels.
She lavishes so much attention on me it's crazy. We've been together almost 3 years now and our relationship is still like we're in limerence. OK yes I may be indulging in some humble-bragging but seriously, I just wish everyone would take away from my sitch that even if you never recon with your W that doesn't mean you're not destined for an even BETTER, MORE FULFILLING, TOE CURLING MIND-BLOWING relationship! Even if you're an old guy like me 