The way I see it, and have experienced it, is that it is easier to have a cordial relationship when you have kids. If you still want them back, or you still harbor animonsity, or you are still afraid of "letting them off the hook" then maybe you aren't ready for continued interactions.
It's been a LONG time for me, but I sit with my ex and his OWW at my daughters events. Our conversation is comfortable. It is better for our daughter to see. The thing is, I can do this because I have no desire to have him back and nor do I have a fear that I am "condoning" their R. They know what they did, they don't need me teaching them a lesson.
I am not saying sit with OM. I am saying yes, she is probably warmer because the conflict is not there due to NC. You both were married, you are both parents to that child, so yes, convo will be natural and easy at times.
Unless you feel as if it will hurt you in some way, no reason why you have to be completely NC. A conversation at a S basketball game is a good thing as long as it doesn't affect you negatively.
Hi everyone. Thanks for stopping in. And I appreciate the comments.
25, not in a relationship at the moment. Just left one. It wasn't working out and I felt like I was suffocating but I won't get into that here. This isn't the place but yes I've been out with women and yes it's been nice but just not 'clicking'. That may be me or that may be just the way it is and I've not met the right woman yet. Who knows.
Anyway, my reason for this thread was more of an observation. The last few years were hell and let me everyone on here you can't quite believe it's happened to you. But you do the work and you pick yourself up and move forward. I honestly would have been ok with spending the rest of my life having no communication with her other than practical matters involving S11. I kid you not. That's how hard getting over her was.
Ginger I think your ability to sit with your EX and OW is quite amazing. I know I won't be that guy. Yes it still stings.
The observation is just how easy and comfortable it was. All the anger and hurt and legalities are done. There isn't anything to fight about anymore. Nobody is interested in reconciliation. It just makes me wonder why. That's all. I could analyse it to death and I'll never find an answer. My ExW and I were a great couple and she knows it. But she chose another path.
Peace
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Ginger I think your ability to sit with your EX and OW is quite amazing. I know I won't be that guy. Yes it still stings. (I'm a rarity. No one should eve
The observation is just how easy and comfortable it was. All the anger and hurt and legalities are done. There isn't anything to fight about anymore. Nobody is interested in reconciliation. It just makes me wonder why. That's all. I could analyse it to death and I'll never find an answer. My ExW and I were a great couple and she knows it. But she chose another path.
Peace
You answered your own question as to why it is so easy and comfortable. That's what I was trying to say:)
I highlighted why up there. It is normal for the convo to be natural and easy. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Hi Ginger. Yea, I know. With it being the first time we've spoken like that in what feels like an eternity I just had to let it out.
I've read on here about the stages we LBS's go through. And they are pretty much on the money. What's not explained IMO is the stage between the stage. When you are transgressing between each stage. So sure I'm at peace, but st the same time if given the opportunity I'd vent at her till my face exploded. That's the part I need to let go of. Yes I was wronged and yes it hurt but that's over now.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
