trying to keep up with you

[Altair]

Hi all,
Well I will start with my latest news. H filed. He wanted to talk so I said come by, and he told me. Said I'll get it in the mail. Cried and told me he loved me just he couldn't do this. I said I didn't want this but I wouldn't fight him on it. It was really sad, lots of tears. Hugs, holding my hands. He said he'd like to see me again but understands if I say no. I said I would think about it.

So, deep sigh. Even though I figured it was coming it's still put me in a bit of a state of shock. He wanted to tell me in person, so I wouldn't be surprised when it comes in the mail, at some point. I am very sad.

[Coly23]

Oh Altair, I'm so sorry to hear this.

I know you say you knew it was coming but it still must hurt like he!!. I sometimes feel like the drip feeding of BDs on us is like death by a thousand paper cuts. I know DB is in some cases do nothing so you don't end up pushing the S to do something but it just seems to drag out the inevitable. More often than not I am having thoughts of just finalising things with my H. I know he is just sitting back waiting for me to take action because that is the sort of person I am and that is what stops me. I guess just my stubbornness!

I can't understand how your H can do this and cry and feel bad about it at the same time. My H cried the last time I told him that I didn't want him to leave after one of his visits and it really annoyed me. But like we say we dont know what goes on in their minds.

What are your plans now Altair? I think I remember you were saying you might move home?

(((Altair))) xx

[job]

Altair,

I am so sorry to read that he has filed. You handled the conversation very well considering it was a shock to you. As for seeing him again, give yourself some time to find your footing. Try to live in the present and do not look too far into the future. Life has a way of changing very quickly and that's why it's important to live in the present.

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Altair]

Thanks Job. No matter how much I prepared for the day, it was still a shock to the heart. I appreciate your response and thank you. I will try to take one day at a time.

[Coly23]

(((Altair)))

[AndrewP]

(((Altair))))

Stay strong. The next while will be tough but at least you now are out of limbo and can now chart your own course. I understand that Ikarina is nice at this time of the year.

[Surv1ve]

Oh Altair. My heart breaks for you. Live in this moment and it sounds like you handled it like a trooper. Oh, gosh. I hope you are taking good care.

[Altair]

Thanks Survive.
He's so deep in a tunnel right now that 'some pieces of paper' are just a small bit of this whole thing. The H I used to know has been gone for a very long time. It's an odd feeling- divorcing a complete stranger.
Who, by the way, continues to IM me and be friendly.

[SBJ]

I don't know which would be harder...hearing from them on a regular basis or totally no contact like mine is. Your BD was 2 months before mine, but my W filed for D in November...she didn't waste any time. And, the part about them being a total stranger totally rings true.

Mine continues to rewrite our history to fit her story of the moment. All in all, she is in the MLC tunnel with no end in site. They say that the MLC process takes a long time, so I guess we have a while until they emerge from the tunnel.

I wish you well on your journey.

[Altair]

Thanks SBJ.
I don't know what I'll do about contact. If I decide it's bad for me, I'll stop; for now I *think* but am not sure, that it has been helpful to see where he's at. It's definitely still in the tunnel, even deeper!!
The other day he told me about a business trip that he'd taken several weeks ago and said, "you remember, I spoke to you on the phone that day." That is true; but he never told me about the trip, or that's where he was during that call. His memory is so impaired every single conversation with him has some element of "I told you that" or "You knew that" it's bizzaro-land, for sure.