Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 4 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 10 11
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 26
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 26
Hi Thornton! I had been thinking about you and your sitch earlier today. I'm very glad to read you are being active. I'd say that you are doing OK, but I personally know better. Just going through the motions; going to the gym; going to work; going to therapy; going to my divorce support group meeting is all just that - a lot of doing. However, I have also been doing a lot of crying, screaming, thinking, talking and figuring out things.

Next on my list of items to do is meeting with two different attys this week so I can know exactly what my rights are with a WAS who moved out of our home. Knowledge is power, they say and I'm about to be one powerful mother.

At least you know your WAW's achilles heel - one of them anyway - when the going gets rough, she walks away. My WAS has two that I know of - when things get hard, he walks away and his drinking.

To answer your question you left in my post - He was drinking when we met, however, not as much as he does now. It has increased and I've witnessed him recently drinking more than he had been, openly.

Perhaps you and I really do just need to get on with our lives and stop hoping, wishing, praying for the return of our spouses. I know that I've given it up to God (I'm not religious), but I figured this is out of my hands. I believe in miracles. I really do!

I want to have a coaching business where I help other women in their 40s-50s with young children whose husbands have left them. I want to help them find their own power and live the life of their dreams - without being ruled by a marriage or a man. A woman of freedom who can and does accomplish anything she sets her mind to. I've always wanted my own coaching business and now I think I truly can help other women going through this very painful process of separation and divorce to reach the other side knowing herself as an amazing woman and mom.

What have you always wanted to do/be/have that you haven't accomplished yet?


M: 49
H: 47
Son: 8
DBomb: Dec 9, 2016
H moved out: Jan 24, 2017
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
Hey Love!

Thanks for stopping by!

Smart move learning what your rights are. You're right, knowledge is power.

I think the coaching idea is a cool idea. What better way to learn how to coach this stuff by going through it yourself and coming out the other side.

I'm so glad you are detaching and giving this to God. That's actually something that can get your H back. Letting go. I'm working on it myself.

Hang in there! Word on the street is that it gets better with time

Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
I think WAW is starting to crack.

I came home from the gym last night and my mom said that WAW came home and told her she had a really bad day at work and that she wanted to be alone in the dark in the bedroom.

I ended up watching some TV shows with my folks and having a good time laughing.

Later, I went to lay down in bed in the extra bedroom and WAW storms in and accused me of looking at a single porn video back in 2016 when we weren't even speaking. The computer used to be my brother's computer in 2016. Anyways, she looked at me like I was disgusting and like I had cheated on her. Huh???????

I explained I didnt own the computer at that time and that I don't look at porn. Then she said I never did anything like that when we were apart and stormed off.

WTF??? Where is this coming from?? Its like she is searching for reasons to hate me. I dont understand because I have been giving her plenty of space and leave her alone. But I also tell her to have a good day in the mornings when I walk out the door as this is the only time we talk all day.

What is going on with this woman??

Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,704
Likes: 253
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,704
Likes: 253
Originally Posted By: Thornton
I think WAW is starting to crack.

I came home from the gym last night and my mom said that WAW came home and told her she had a really bad day at work and that she wanted to be alone in the dark in the bedroom.

I ended up watching some TV shows with my folks and having a good time laughing.

Later, I went to lay down in bed in the extra bedroom and WAW storms in and accused me of looking at a single porn video back in 2016 when we weren't even speaking. The computer used to be my brother's computer in 2016. Anyways, she looked at me like I was disgusting and like I had cheated on her. Huh???????

I explained I didnt own the computer at that time and that I don't look at porn. Then she said I never did anything like that when we were apart and stormed off.

WTF??? Where is this coming from?? Its like she is searching for reasons to hate me. I dont understand because I have been giving her plenty of space and leave her alone. But I also tell her to have a good day in the mornings when I walk out the door as this is the only time we talk all day.

What is going on with this woman??



What's going on with her ??

Who the F knows...



Hey, remember a few years ago ??

You were here, and your thoughts were running wild about what she was doing, and who she was with, and on Facebook, she appeared to be doing really well ??

And you were sulking and wounded, and couldn't get your schidt together ??

Yea...

That ^^^^ is what she was doing..

Just that you were no contact, and dark, and didn't see it...


Soooo....

Wanna see it ??

Or better the other way ??

Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
Yep, I remember.

I just don't like be made into a villain so she can tell all her friends and family what a monster I am and then they can all revel in her strength to leave the monster.

You're right, Mach. It doesnt matter. I can't control her and she will say and do as she will. I will keep taking the high road and not reacting to it.

On a good note, had a really good work out yesterday and was able to keep my mind off WAW for the most part. Tonight I meet with my T.

I'm also starting to eat a little more as well, so that's good.

Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,704
Likes: 253
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,704
Likes: 253
Originally Posted By: Thornton
I just don't like be made into a villain so she can tell all her friends and family what a monster I am and then they can all revel in her strength to leave the monster.


Is it true ???

Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
Absolutely not. Not saying I'm perfect but to be made out to be a villian is absurd.

Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,704
Likes: 253
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,704
Likes: 253
Originally Posted By: Thornton
Absolutely not. Not saying I'm perfect but to be made out to be a villian is absurd.



Then why does it bother you so ??

Rise above petty Thor...

It doesn't serve you well...

Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
I like her family alot and I care about their opinion of me. They've been good to me (not her mom) but everyone else.

Detach Thorn, detach.

Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
Im struggling this afternoon. I felt decent all morning but my anxiety has kicked in and I miss WAW. A week ago, we would be texing funny jokes and entertaining each other.

Page 4 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard