Cherry. He's gone, and divorce is looking

[Vanilla]

Just letting you know sending you the best.

V

[JksD]

Cherry, I agree. Don't reach out by deliberately calling him or texting him. But if your mil should offer, I don't see why not. Let the squirrel come closer first.

You can be civil and friendly without being a friend. Don't go out of your way to fix his problems. But if it's in your way, then it's your call. Just don't be nasty about it and shove things in his face.

[JksD]

I guess it's really hard to tread the fine line between friendly and eager.

(((Cherry)))

[PsySara]

It's a good sign that he came over dinner. This gives you the opportunity to try out your DBing muscles. Keeping it light and warm makes positive memories when he thinks back about you and your S. I know what you mean about the single parenting thing, it definitely is an invaluable skill. I really like reading about you getting out of the house and GAL, keep it up sister!

[Cherry]

Thanks guys. Grl, that's the way I saw it, I didn't offer- it was mil. But in the same way I was upbeat and pleasant to him, but it wasn't as though I had offered to have him round. But the friendly without being a friend was the kind of stance I would be, the whole neighbourly kinda way.

Thanks Sara, as you know- it is a hard balance to try and juggle a career/parent and individual. I do find it quite tough while pregnant and sometimes having really bad hyperemesis. I'm not sure wether I will have given him any particularly warm moments to take away. But I certainly didn't do anything to harm the situation

[JksD]

Cherry, I think by not doing any additional harm, e.g by being mean, biatchy etc, is actually doing a lot.

In their confused, wayward states, it may be that the nice things that we do won't touch them the way they should. But nothing wrong with planting a few seeds here and there.

But they will definitely notice anything 'nasty' or 'mean' that we do, because they're looking for examples to reinforce the hateful image they have of us.

So being pleasant, civil, not rocking the boat (unless firm boundaries are needed) can help a lot.

Have a great weekend, Cherry!

[Surfer]

"We".

That's good. You MIL clearly has your back. This is very important. It shows that she sees your integrity.

Surfer.

[Cherry]

Grl, thanks for that, I hadn't really thought of it that way, I'm not really giving him the ammunition to use against me. But my lack of communication I sometimes think he will perceive as I don't care, but I guess really it is just respecting his need for privacy, though then when I do see him I'm civil.

Thanks surfer, she really does, and some of the dub techniques are also helping her too. She is amazed by my strength!

Had a good weekend so far, lots of beautiful precious moments with a and family. I did a few quiet pretty fireworks in our garden and food. S liked this, but when the big fireworks started he wasn't too sure about that! Another busy day tomorrow, seeing a friend and taking S out for a play date too. Made sure I gave myself a little pamper this evening and a nice warm bath to unwind. I do feel a lot more in control of my life again.

[Cherry]

*db techniques! Not dub! Silly autocorrect!

[PsySara]

I did a special face mask for moisturizing today and thought of you, lol! You would be suprised the things WAS's remember warmly once their fog clears. Consistency (of what works, of course) is a key element of DBing from what I read from others. I can sympathize with the HG, I had it with all three of my pregnancies. I lost 14 pounds in 8 weeks with my first pregnancy before we found a med that worked. I still threw up a lot but I was able to keep some food down and stay hydrated. When do you find out what the newest family member will wear? Pink or blue?