I agree with Zeus to a point about W doing some temp checking and blame shifting. Yet on the other hand I still think you that you could save your M. To me, I strongly believe that DBers should give the process at least one year to try and save the M before throwing in the towel.
I would add a bit to Zeus recommended response a bit more and come from a place of authencity:
"Transitions like this can be hard on everyone at times. With time I know we will all be in a better place."
Here's an expanded version:
Thanks for sharing. I am too sad about all of this. To be clear, it takes TWO people to make a marriage work. I do not think that we are able to meet our own needs in the marriage--especially for me to feel emotionally safe with you. Transitions like this can be hard on everyone at times. With time I know we will all be in a better place.
This puts the ball squarely in her court on whether to step up, taking full responsibility, and being genuinely remorseful for her choices to engage with OM.
That's a great response, Wonka. Did you mean to say, though, that he too is sad about all of this, or that he is too sad about it. Seems like the former is more DB, while the latter is a little more aggressive/passive aggressive? Trying to learn -- thanks!
Coconut -- I can't imagine (well, I can, but it is painful) the emotions you must be feeling letting your home go. Hang in there!
Last edited by Cadet; 09/15/1609:57 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
