My Wife Walked Out 5

[cbtdad]

From what you described in the text it sounds like it's a little progress
Stay the course!
You are doing exactly what you need to. Let her initiate. Let her text more than you. Let her be the one to ask the questions
You get the drift
Just know that when she goes "colder" you need to just continue to do what you are doing. Don't let her get to you in that regard. That's why the detaching is so imporant. Fake it to you make it philosophy goes a long way here:)
Good job. Kept it up

[Surfer]

RSG,

Sounds positive. Stay detached. Don't let her temp test.

That's it for now.

Surfer.

[RSG]

So, today. Met at 9:30 for dropoff. We talked for a few minutes about S, Labor day, his birthday the next week, his assignments at school, etc. She said she'd send me a picture of his work from last week so I could practice at home. I said thanks, but it's now 2PM and she hasn't sent it. She also complained I'm not sending updates or pictures, first time in a while she's said that. She did mention they've been learning the Pledge of Allegiance at preschool, and that he knows a good portion. I'm going to practice that....
Oh, and for heaven's sake she dyed the hair grayish again. I have no idea how she'd pick that!

As for Saturday. A good day. No texts until a weird series began around 2:30, that I didn't see until around 3:15 as I took the dog out for a 2mi walk and came home to shower. She asked if I wanted to pick him up early, around 6 or 7, so she could go to a mentor meeting at the church Sun morning. I eventually said ok, but then she backtracked and said he was too tired and he stayed there. Sat night seems to be my recipe night, and I tried turkey burgers w/a Thai peanut sauce. Very good, very healthy! The only drawback is that the burgers practically fall apart with the peanut sauce and veggies in the turkey. I had it on a bun w/fries last night, tonight I'm having it by itself w/some rice and veggies.

CBT, thanks for the note. Those were my instincts as well, some sort of minor opening up. And let her keep coming to me. Keep doing what works, and don't put too much into it because things will dry up from time to time. Thanks to you as well Surfer. LT, always appreciate the encouragement. One thing I'm definitely looking out for is the temp check.

CT, damn! My W has just started using emojis again. My best friend's girlfriend is pretty young, and she has told me that emojis are used as a form of flirting now. W may be 32, but she's younger in social media age if that makes any sense lol. Yes, texting is pretty dangerous for affairs. So are those damn apps like Snapchat.
As for the introvert comments, you're spot on. I'm getting better about not analyzing 5 minute moments for an hour ha.

[CT1118]

As for the introvert comments, you're spot on. I'm getting better about not analyzing 5 minute moments for an hour ha.

Why the hell does that have to be so difficult for us? Almost laugh worthy now,but I do still have to push it to not let that happen.

On the text. Emoji's are flirting? I have read that in places. I am not sure that is always the case w/ my W, but perhaps. And between texting and her discovering FB Chat app - I had to teach her how to use this stuff, she did not know. Then she used it in an A. Slap my a$s and call me Sally!

I do think that texting is a new pathway though my friend. Good or bad remains open...

[RSG]

Had a good day with my boy. W said she doesn't put little guy to bed, and when I asked she admitted she can't. He really fights them, and I can see where she just gives up. It's either that, or she loses her temper and I think regulating her temper is part of her counseling sessions (based on what I see and hear). Oh, and she finally sent me his lessons from last week around 7PM.


I got him to nap today rather easy, but he was exhausted. Normal naps are a little difficult, but I still get him down. He had a little iPad time today, watched some tv and we got the pool all to ourselves. He was able to say the entire pledge all by himself.

Watched the finale of The Night Of on HBO. Any of you have HBO, you need to watch it. Amazing.

Hope everyone has a good night....

[Surfer]

RSG. You are trying to control. Re-read two posts up.

Stop it. Let go. Dont give a fcuk.

Surfer.

[lt0402]

He had a little iPad time today, watched some tv and we got the pool all to ourselves. He was able to say the entire pledge all by himself.

Sounds like a great day RSG! My D is a waterbug and we have a blast at the pool as well. Keep doing what you're doing!

[RSG]

Just had dropoff. We spoke about the little guy for about 15 minutes. It was weird, it was like I was casually talking to my W about our days. OK, mostly her and little guy. It was mostly about preschool and her worries. I validated, and just said lets get the hearing test turned in and get therapy started and work from there. She said ok, thank you. I could tell a couple times she wanted to cry.

I also found out it's not her ear she's getting looked at, it's her plumbing. I recall that when she gave birth, there was a little tear that hurt for a while but went away. I guess it was just the pain that went away or something, but she's going in to have a piece cut off and sent to the lab Friday. Needless to say, I was surprised and told her I hope everything goes smoothly. She kept telling me she's fine, but I've known her long enough to know the word "fine" means something bad. Whether it's anger or sadness depends on context.

I saw a crushed Natural Light beer car underneath the passenger seat too.

Sigh. It was a short trip back to the family I used to have. It was the most comfortable I've felt around her in weeks, the most normal she's seemed and for a second I forgot we weren't just "going home." But, when I got home my son's birthday present arrived, after I walked the dog I answered her text about preschool and then followed up with "have a good night" to which she responded "you guys too."

It was a moment, and now it's over. I'm home, with my son. Enjoying our evening and having fun together. I just need to keep reminding myself: Approaching her anytime soon means she'll run. Hitting FF will just bring me down. Let her go on her journey while I stay on mine. Patience is key. The only way my son can possibly get his family back is keeping my focus on ME!

[RSG]

So, just had a little conversation about the little guy. He participated in their little preschool parade and somehow W got pics and FWD to me. Made me smile, she was ecstatic.
I spoke with the Inclusion Specialist for our County, and the woman mentioned she will come observe his classroom and help his teachers create an environment for him and try to work on strategies to encourage his participation. I fwd the info to W, and again ecstatic.

She did say "I feel so bleak" and I thought she meant about S, and how he is doing but then said she meant physically. I said "If you don't mind me asking do you feel ok?" And she just said work is really annoying. I said I hope S made your day better, and she said yes he has. I just said "Good luck with the rest of your day" and she responded "Thank you so much."

I wanted to follow up that last one to ask if she wanted to talk about anything, but figured that'd ruin another positive interaction w/my pressing too much. It's one of those things: She feels crummy, I want to make her feel better. Or at least give her a listening ear so she can unburden herself. But, if she wants to talk she'll open up to me. I feel like I'm making tiny deposits into her love bank.

Actually, I was thinking. Yesterday, she walked in front of me to kiss S while in his car seat while the door was open. Her butt was about 6 inches from me. I realized it after a few secs, and moved out of the way. I think I may be at the point where I could put my hand on her shoulder or waist while moving away when something like that happens again. If she recoils or comments, I'll know to stop but I don't think she'll respond that way. No expectations since it's a tiny gesture, but I think I'm ready to test those waters....

[doodler]

Her butt was about 6 inches from me.

RSG,

A butt that close is asking to be spanked.