That's what these forums are good for. When you go through something like this most friends are sympathetic, but their budget for hearing about it is measured in minutes. Meanwhile the grieving process and the aftermath can require hours a day for years. You're right, people that haven't gone through it have no idea what you're going through.
I agree that hope causes pain, and is an obstacle to moving on with your life. I don't know exactly how you let go. For me it was easier because XW crossed so many lines, hurt me so badly, and was so nasty, that it was easier for me to let go. If she had been friendly, flirty, expressed mixed signals, etc, it would've been much harder for me. But I do think you need to move forward and let go, more and more. Detachment isn't a one time action, it is a long process. I remember month 8 or so was when it really took a turn, I still had a lot of anger to work through, but from a sense of hanging on her day to day emotions or moods, that was ALL gone.
Keep posting T.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
It's not an easy process Gr8tdad, it's a blessing we found this forum to express ourselves.
Zeus, it makes me happy you checked in and are still here. You are among the people I miss advice from the most. I definitely am past the anger toward ExW. It has become frustration at myself for holding out hope for whatever reason it may be.
And there was a post you made quite awhile ago, I do t remeber who's thread it was, however it stuck with me. What kind of person would intentionally become involved with a married person, and more importantly what kind of married person would look outside the marriage instead of in, but most important, what kind of person holds onto that person that hurt them so badly. I'm paraphrasing but that was the jist of it. It always stuck with me.
Glad to meet you new people and glad to hear fro. You Zeus. It's like an old friend I lost touch with for awhile.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
I don't get how ExW mind works. We exchanged the boys today and she invited me to come for lunch with them. I agreed and we sat and ate when we left I said thank you for lunch and goodbye to the boys and then a few minutes later I get a text saying thank you for having lunch with us.
I replied thank you for having me do it she replied no problem it was nice the boys deserve for us to be able to sit together.
I don't know if she's reaching out temperature again for getting over her anger at me or what the Hells going on I don't agree that sitting and playing all Neicy nice is the best especially in front of the boys because I don't want to give them any false hopes. We had only been sitting there few minutes S4 pipes up and says mommy do you still live at daddy's house.
So yes it's nice I suppose. They don't need to think we are one big happy family. Ticks me off
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
This summer was too relaxed I have decided. I didn't stay active enough. Haha. I went out and played ultimate frisbee Sunday night and I am still sore 2 days later.
I look forward to getting back into playing sports 2-3 times a week. Slo pitch this summer ended up being more of a beer drinking excuse.
As for ex, I'm not sure if I am reading too far into thins still or if there is something to watch and listen for. It just seems like she is poking her head out once I. Awhile and I am not sure how to handle those times.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
I'm not sure how to handle this situation. Or if I am over thinking everything.
After she invited to have lunch with her Sunday it was pretty quite. Today I got ahold of her about a bill and her paying me back and got the same oh I forgot, I'll start paying it back soon. Etc.
Then I get a text later saying. It sept and she is by a certain town. And it's weird.
I replied saying that's a long drive from her work and what's weird. She replied thinking I said that's weird and just agreed.
The only thing I can think of is I was working in that town when I met her in September 6 years ago. I have no idea why this would even come up. It is just adding to a list of things that are confusing me over the last month with her.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
So I had a unintentional breakthrough with W today. And so it changes nothing as far as our relationship Her relationship with OM is and should stay over.
I got a frantic tearful Phone call asking if I was able to drive and meet her to get the boys early tonight instead of Friday. I said yes without really asking why once I was on my way I texted her asking if I could know what was going on.
I do her in the boys were OK in my mind wandered too baby someone in her family was hurt. I came to find out that for a while now he has been abusive towards her I do her in the boys were OK in my mind wandered too baby someone in her family was hurt. I came to find out that for a while now he has been abusive towards her and tonight was finally the last straw and hopefully the final straw.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
I just want to add that I'm not looking at the situation as an opportunity because I would never ask for this for anyone I'm happy that everyone is healthy and happy and the boys are safe with me and I am grateful that she was brave enough to Tell me when to walk away from the situation
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Be very careful. She is unstable right now. She may go back to him. She may try to come back to you. She may find someone else.
My WW did all 3 in the same night.
It was September 5th, 2 years ago. The night she called me crying, while OM1 who had dumped her was passed out in our old bed, the morning before she attempted suicide. Not sure if you read my sitch, but it was a unique 24 hours.
So please be very, very careful. By all means make sure the mother of your children is ok, but don't go into rescue mode either. Trust me, you are only seeing what she wants to show you, and there is a lot more going on. Post often and take care today.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
